SCALES | Humblestart1

Summary: A peaceful, beautiful creature ventures out of the sea in search of a missing loved one. Park Jimin is on mission. As the weather cools with the emergence of fall, he says goodbye to sea, in search of the person he lost long ago.

Dancer/choreographer Jeon Joengguk decides to take a cruise alone to clear his thoughts and deal with the tragic loss of someone very special. He decides to take a trip alone to deal with his depression and ever changing mood. But his journey ends in terror as he faces an unexpected nightmare that changes the course ofh is life.

Through a series of unfortunate and life threatening events, the two creatures from different worlds encounter each other. The roller coaster fight for survival that ensues, bonds them in a very special way.

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Author's Note ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I write what's on my heart. And there are times when I have to ask you to just bear with me and let me get it out. Some of my best work comes from cryptic, illogical ideas that haunt me in my dreams. This is one of them.

Every since I saw Jimin in the pool in LA, I've had this obsession with writing him as a beautiful merman. The story just would not go away, even though you guys voted for something completely different. I want you to know that I listened you and I am still writing away, but this little nugget had to come first.

I am in love with this story. I am in love with bad communication, good communication, love versus hero-worship, bad parents, good parents, themes of depression and the ultimate underlying story here that I will let you discover on your own.

Please give it a chance. Please comment and like each chapter. I need to hear from you and I need to share this with you. Let's take this journey together. I hope you can see the beauty just as I do.

Read the tags besties because there alot of them and some of them may be disturbing. Although - you guys are unbreakable Diamonds.

Tags:

💦Age gap JM 32, JK 30

💦Grief/Mourning

💦Soulmates

💦Hurt/Sexual Comfort

💦Bottom Jimin

💦Near Death/Death experiences

💦Kidnapping

💦Graphic Violence/Beating

💦Murder

💦Major Angst

💦MermaidXHuman Sex

💦Male/Male Intercourse

💦Mentions of rape

💦Missing Persons

✅ Complete

As always, I am begging you to please leave likes and comments. I need them to breathe and stuff. Love you

Chapter Index

Chapter One: Hanja Symbols

Chapter Two: Terror Of The Seas

Chapter Three:

Chapter Four:

Chapter Five:

Chapter Six:

Chapter Seven:

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🔵.🔵.🔵.🔵.🔵.🔵

Chapter One: Hanja Symbols

📕8734

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He sat alone at a small table near the window. The weather was cooling, but he was oblivious. Nestled in the warmth of the coffee shop, his attention was fully focused on the pile of books that sat in front of him. The vestiges of fall were all around as the burnt umber and gold leaves formed mini-tornados just feet away from where he was perched. Seasons meant nothing to him. They came and went without his participation.

The coffee shop hummed with the gentle clinking of ceramic mugs. The soft hiss of the espresso machine puffed clear steam through the air at regular intervals. A decadent aroma of freshly baked pumpkin spice croissants and frothy lattes filled the air. There were many aromas dancing about the small coffee shop, some of them recognizable, others foreign.

Sitting there alone, at a small table in the corner was a handsome man with a pale thin face, mostly hidden by a pair of oversized thick-rimmed, black glasses. A dark knit beanie covered his short black hair, with a few strands peeking on either side, framing his thoughtful face. His presence was quiet, unassuming, like a shadow that didn’t want attention.

In front of him lay dozens of books from the local library. They were piled so high on the table that his entire body was hidden behind them. Anyone passing by would have thought the table to be empty minus the stack of books. Every so often his small, thick fingers would reach around the pile to pull his teal-colored mug to his lips. He sipped his coffee, black, no sugar, extra salt; its bitter warmth grounding him, pushing him deeper and deeper into his cogitation. The oversized sleeves of his sweater brushed against the table. He tugged them back absentmindedly, a faint frown turning over his plump, pink lips.

His notebook sat close to his mug of coffee. So close that the pages had become stained by the spillage from his shaky grip each time his barista filled it up again. The tattered dog-eared pages were full of his notes; scratches in black ink in the native pen that only he could decipher. His hands moved with care as he flipped through his own pages.

“You ok, Jimin? Need a refill?” The young barista named Dani hovered around him as she wiped down the adjacent tables.

“Hi…uh…hi Dani. No, no more for now,” Jimin used his index finger to push his fames up the bridge of his nose. The sleeves of his baggy sweater pooled at his wrists.

Jimin’s shyness was palpable, so too was his humility. He seemed intentionally lost in his oversized clothes with accessories that masked all of his most beautiful features. He cowered in his safe corner as he read through all of his books. His eyes were barely visible beneath his beanie and glasses, but what could be seen was awestriking. His eyes seemed to glow with a rare brightness.

They took Dani’s breath away each time she stared directly into them. “How’s it going today? Any progress?” She asked as she took a seat at Jimin’s table.

“T-t-today was promising,” Jimin smiled. “I found something…something important,” he gave no further details.

“Oh. That’s good, I guess. Jimin - exactly what are you looking for? I mean, you seem so determined and focused. You come in here every day and you stay all day. Do you work? Do you have a family, a girlfriend?”

“You ask such personal questions,” Jimin blushed. He gently pushed his beanie further down over his head. He would have completely covered his face if he could have.

“I-I don’t mean to…I’m just curious about you…that’s all. You don’t have to answer…,” Dani stood to her feet. The conversation had suddenly become awkward. “I like you. You’re kind and gentle and handsome. I…,”

“I have more work to do. If I need to order more food to earn my keep, then please bring me one of those - chocolate croissants.” Jimin smiled and then ducked back behind the pile of books to his left.

“Ok, Jimin. I get the hint. Be right back with your uh…croissant.” She blushed.

Twenty-five-year-old Dani found him enchanting. But Jimin was a hard nut to crack. He was suspiciously private around everything and anything related to his personal life. He was sweet enough. He never raised his voice, never demanded attention, yet his presence had a gravity that drew her in. She just wanted to know him better, maybe even understand why he was so hellbent on searching for…whatever the hell he was searching for.

Jimin waited for her to leave. Then, with a soft exhale, he opened his notebook again, ready to capture more notes. The book was a compendium of facts, he was lucky to have come across it. The novel was a 17th century piece called The Diamond Lens. Despite being a book of fiction, it offered critical pieces to the puzzle that Jimin was trying to solve. He was so close to the answers he needed; he could feel it.

As his eyes swept across the page, the delicate voice in his head told him to look up. He did so, quickly, but not fast enough. He peered through the window into the haze in search of the shadowy figure that had briefly appeared in his peripheral vision before he looked up. He stood quickly and rushed to the window. This was the fifth time in as many weeks that he’d felt the presence of someone staring at him as he worked. The first couple of times, he ignored it. But the more it happened, the more he realized that this was no accident. Someone was intentionally watching him, or following him or…stalking him? He wasn’t sure which. He had no idea who it was or what they wanted, but it made him feel uneasy.

“Here’s your croissant,” Dani smiled as she dropped his order. A homemade butter crisp croissant with warm gooey chocolate bursting from the seams covered the large plate.

“DANI!” Jimin yelled. He pulled her over to the window, “Did you see him? Did you see who it was? The man…I guess it was a man…but he was standing there in the window, watching me. Did you see who it was or which way he went?”

“Uh, no. Sorry, I didn’t see anyone. Are you sure you saw somebody? What were they doing?” Dani walked to the window. She didn’t see anyone so she walked outside to look up and down the block. There was nothing there but a gang of colorful leaves dancing up and down the sidewalk, “Nobody. If someone was here, they disappeared into thin air.”

“I know I sound crazy, but trust me. Someone has been watching me. Whenever I least expect it, I see them. Sometimes they come here, sometimes they follow me when I leave,” Jimin’s voice trembled. He was spooked.

“Who? I mean who is following you? What do they look like? What do they want? Do you know them?”

“I don’t know them. I’ve never really seen them. Whenever I realize that they’re watching, that’s when they suddenly disappear. It’s so strange. I don’t know what they want.”

“Do you want me to call the police?” Dani offered.

“NO! No…don’t do that. I’m fine, really. I-I’ll just eat my croissant and go. You’re right, maybe it was just my imagination.”

“Jimin, are you in some kind of trouble?”

“Trouble?” Jimin laughed. Trouble was an understatement for what was going on in his life. But it was much too complex for a simple barista to understand. In fact, it was too complex for anyone to understand. “Just…a mission that I must complete. My life depends on it. I guess that could be considered trouble.”

“How can I help?”

“You can’t. But thank you. I better be going.” Jimin looked around at the plethora of books that he needed to pack up. “I have to get these books back to the library before they close.”

“Yeah, ok. Listen, Jimin if you need anything or just need to talk, I’m here, okay?”

“Certainly.” He bowed and then pushed his black glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Dani thought he looked so small, so fragile, so petite - yet there was still something stately about him. He had the aura of royalty, except disguised in frumpy clothes to avoid attracting attention.

Without any further hesitation, Jimin threw two gold coins down on the table to pay for his food and coffee. He still hadn’t fully grasped the banknote and currency system, so he had no idea that he had once again over paid for his coffee - by about 80 million Won. It didn’t matter because in his mind, it was fair trade for fair services.

Dani looked down at the two gold coins sitting on the table. They were round, about 28 mm in diameter and they bore four Hanja symbols, reminiscent of the Joseon era. She wondered if they may even be numismatic artifacts. Even she knew they were much too valuable to be used to pay for a 23,000 Won cup of coffee.

“Jimin, what are these? Why do you always try to pay with these things? They look like something from a museum. Can’t you just use Mobile pay like regular people? I have no idea how to make change for this.” Dani tapped her foot and waited for him to offer a real money to pay for his coffee and snacks.

“I’m sorry but that’s all that I have,” Jimin said as he stared up at her with eyes that seemed to shimmer with a glint of gold behind his large black rimmed glasses. “You may keep the change. I’m sure this is more than enough to cover it.”

“Sweetie, this is more than enough to cover new houses for all of the people in Guryong village. That’s my point. Where did you even get these? I’m serious, I really think you should have them examined by the local historian on ancient currency. You have to understand, it’s not normal to carry around this kind of - money.”

“It’s not?” Jimin paused in the midst of gathering up all of his books.

“No. Just no.”

“Listen, Dani, this is all I’ve got. Please take it. I promise to use SamsungApple next time.” Jimin wasn’t exactly sure what that was but he didn’t have time to squabble.”

“Fine. I’ll figure something out. But please promise me that you didn’t steal them from some ancient vault in the Seoul Museum?”

“Steal them? No, they’re mine. They are rightfully mine. Why would anyone steal something like that?”

Dani could sense that Jimin was offended by her question. She sighed, “Never mind.” She shook her head.

‘Ok bye.” Jimin left the coffee shop, leaving Dani standing there, amused by his attractiveness and quirky personality.

He walked a few blocks to the library to return his old books and gather new ones. Then he walked quickly to get back to his sailboat before dark. There were no more sightings of the strange man who was following him - at least not that night.

***

Milestone coffee was a seaside little bistro with strong coffee, decadent baked goods and friendly staff. It was the first place that allowed Jimin to sit for long periods of time without accusing him of loitering or calling the police. When he first arrived in town, he tried many places along the shore and they were all the same; greedy for the next Won that would come their way. This led to poor customer service and mild harassment whenever they wanted Jimin to move on. But Milestone was different. From the first day he landed there, he felt comfortable, safe. He blended in with the bohemian mix of patrons. Everyone minded their own business and no one looked at him as an eccentric. In fact, no one looked at him at all.

This was especially true of the owner. As long as Jimin kept his coffee mug full and purchased baked treats every now and again, he was allowed to linger as long as he wanted. The owner a kind middle-aged man who serviced his own tables and baked his own goods. He was hands-on in his business and that was one of the reasons it flourished. He was the first person that Jimin met when he stepped into the modern, cozy, darkly lit bistro. He introduced himself immediately and assured Jimin that he was always welcomed. From that day forward, it was the only place that Jimin would go when he needed to do his research.

And then there was Dani, a twenty-five-year-old college dropout who pursued her passion of working in a coffee shop. She had dreams of owning a café herself one day. With an inviable dedication to her employer, she worked long hours filling coffee mugs, mixing lattes and learning everything she could about operating a coffee shop.

Dani was strikingly beautiful with long, thick black hair, brown eyes and faint pink lips. Her hair always dripped in curls over her face, despite wearing it pulled back in a bun. Day after day her frame meandered ghostly from table to table with sloppy posture that always made her seem overly tired. She took a liking to Jimin the very first day she met him and she quickly became Jimin’s first friend in Busan.

To the world around him, Park Jimin was thirty-one years old; his thirty-second birthday only days away. And that was about all anyone knew about him. His place of origin was unknown. His parents were unknown. Where he lived was unknown. Where he worked was unknown. His family was unknown. Being a mystery was fully intentional because no one in the world around him could ever know the truth about who he was.

He had arrived in Busan by sailboat, five months earlier. With no idea where to start, he walked the streets of Busan looking for - well he had no idea what he was looking for. He only knew that Busan was the place where his search

needed to begin. New to the country, new to the environment, new to the culture and the people, he bravely set out on a unknown journey, looking for a place to settle.

What Jimin was looking for was also a closely guarded secret. The only thing he would share with Dani was that he was looking for a ‘very important person’. He refused to elaborate any further. It took time, but after months and months of research, clues slowly began to materialize.

Five months of visiting the city everyday was enough to familiarize him with the people and places of importance. He never ventured too far, only sticking to the areas that he knew were safe. At least, he thought he was safe. But the sudden appearance of the mystery man who seemed to be following him everywhere made him realize that he maybe wasn’t safe at all.

***

It was on the 122nd day of his time in Busan when a much-needed breakthrough came via an obscure article buried on the last page of the local newspaper - The Korea Times. Along with the article came several grainy photos that were just as blurry and unclear as the article itself. Jimin searched through his leather bag looking for his small magnifying glass.

“Whoa. What’s this?” He whispered excitedly to himself.

There was something there, in the middle of the newspaper page, that caught his attention. Something that looked eerily familiar. He placed his magnifying glass over the object and examined it more closely. With a startled yelp, he jumped back, almost falling from his chair. This was it.

“Jimin, where are you going? Your croissant is ready,” his server Dani smiled.

Jimin bowed, “I - I’ve found something…,” he said with his eyes still wandering over the crinkled newspaper in his hands.

“Is it about your missing person?” Dani responded with excitement.

“Dani - yes. I believe it is. I have to get back, I have to tell the others what I’ve found.”

“What others?”

“Uh,” Jimin stuttered, “you know…the police and whatnot.”

She smiled at her customer. He was attractive. Over the five months that he had been coming to the coffee shop, he always sat in her section. She tried several times to make advances, even asking him to dinner once. But she never got very far. After close observation of the quietly charming customer, she highly suspected he was of the asexual sort because he seemed to have no interest in anything other than combing through books and newspapers. He never noticed any of the women or men who entered the shop, even the Idols who were always very attractive.

On several occasions, beautiful men tried to talk to him. He was like a Siren with an ethereal beauty that beckoned suitors. Yet, he seemed to have not a modicum of understanding of his own beguiling charm. There was definitely something innocent about him, but mysteriously so.

Once again Jimin provided his regular method of payment, the same payment that he’d used every day for five straight months.

As soon as Dani saw the two shiny coins on the table, she growled with irritation.

“No. No, nope absolutely not. Jimin, I cannot accept these mystery coins anymore. This has to stop.” She lowered her voice and moved closer to Jimin who was startled at her sudden proximity. She whispered, “The boss won’t take these.”

“But-but you said…,”

“For fucks sake, I said I would work something out. I thought I could. But no go, the boss was furious that I accepted these the first time. So…so…so I’ve been paying for your food and coffee all these months. I donate my tips to help cover it. But Jimin, money is tight these days and I just can’t do it anymore. You have to pay. You have to be able to pay with real, normal people’s money.” Dani didn’t mean to be so blunt, but she could no longer hide her frustration.

“You - you’ve been paying for my coffee? All this time? But why didn’t you say something?”

“I tried to tell you. I tried one hundred times to explain, but you’re just so…well you’re just so sweet and I could tell you didn’t really have any other money so…,” Dani explained. “Look whatever or whoever you’re looking for, I can tell it’s important to you. I believe in you and what you’re trying to do. If paying for a few cups of coffee can help you in any way, then I was happy to do it. But I can’t anymore Jimin. I need real money.”

Jimin emptied his pockets. “You’re right. This is all that I have. I always thought it would be…enough.”

Dani had an idea, “Look Jimin. I’ve been collecting all of these coins you’ve given me. I’ve studied them and even found references to them online. Sweetie, I don’t think you understand what you have here. Even the boss has questions about their origin. These are not just ordinary coins.”

“They are. They are very ordinary. I may not have the exact change, but I’m sure it’s enough.”

“That’s my point. It’s definitely enough, possibly much more than enough.” Dani sighed and whispered, “We need to know more about these things. How about this - I’ll continue my research on these coins. Give me a couple of weeks to figure it all out. If they truly are worth something, I’ll cash them in at the bank and give the Won back to you.”

“Minus five months of croissants, pumpkin loafs, matcha cookies, black coffees and tips…,” Jimin scratched his nose.

“Yea, minus that. Is it a deal?”

“Yea, I’m really sorry Dani. I’m new to town and I guess I don’t fully understand how everything works.”

“You’re not new to earth. Everybody understands money. Why don’t you?” Jimin’s ignorance of currency wasn’t an act. Something was off - peculiar

about her favorite customer. She had gotten to know him well over the five months since he first appeared in her coffee shop. And she found it very strange that a man of his age didn’t understand how basic things worked.

Jimin countered with his own question, “Are we square here?”

“We’re square.”

“Dani, I have to go. I have an urgent matter.”

“Fine, fine, go. And Jimin, good luck.”

“Thanks Dani, for everything.”

Jimin scooped his backpack under his arm and disappeared into the dark chilly night. A streetlamp flickered several times before burning out. There was no moon as the fog began to creep up through the street grates. There was a storm moving in and with it came a thick ashy grey mist that coated the buildings and floated through the streets.

He only had a three block walk from the coffee shop to the dock where his sailboat was anchored. But as soon as he rounded the corner and crossed the street, he felt the familiar feeling of being watched. Jimin had made the trip by foot hundreds of times. However, this night felt different. He looked around, but the fog was thickening, making it difficult to see into the distance. Still, he thought he saw a shadow.

“Just your imagination. Stop being so jumpy,” he spoke to himself, saying the same words over and over until he believed them.

He grasped his leather bag tighter and tighter with each step he took. And with each step came the echo of footsteps behind him. He was definitely being followed. But by who? He looked back once again, but still saw nothing. The fog was too dense. It swallowed him like a living beast. The moisture of the mist dampened his clothes and swarmed through his nose, making it difficult to breathe. Never had he encountered a fog so thick. His feet moved faster and faster until he found himself running. And as his steps quickened, so did the steps behind him. In fact, he could hear the footsteps of several men behind him, not just one.

The night was quiet. The streets were empty. The shops were all closed. He was truly alone with nowhere to run, no one to call for help. In the back of his mind, he still had hope that it wasn’t him they were after. But his instincts told him otherwise. His instincts told him to run as fast as he could and get away because the people behind him meant him no good.

His eyes scanned the streets looking for a single light, any shop that might be keeping late hours. He just needed a safe place to linger long enough to throw them off of his tracks. But every shop was locked up tight.

Even though the safety of his docked sailboat was less than a block away, Jimin didn’t want these people following him. He didn’t want them to see where he was going. Thinking quickly, he ducked into an alley behind a ramen shop. The change of direction was sudden and unexpected because at least temporarily, his pursuers were discombobulated and unsure of where he went. For the first time that evening, the fog worked to his advantage. Jimin slid behind a large dumpster and waited. If there was any doubt that he was being followed, it was diminished the moment he heard the voices calling out after him.

“Where did he go? Anyone got eyes on him? Fuck where is he?” The various voices whispered through the haze.

For the first time since the nightmare began, he was scared. Who were these people? What did they want from him? Were these the same people who had been following him for weeks? He didn’t know. He placed his hand over his mouth to keep from accidentally screaming. His eyes searched wildly in the black of night, watching for the shadowy figures, praying that they didn’t find him. He crouched lower and lower between the wall and the dumpster, making himself as small as possible. His heart beat so fast and loud in his ears that he gripped his chest to quiet it, fearful that the others might hear it.

“You go to the left. I’ll double back. Maybe he heard us behind him and decided to go back to the coffee shop,” one of the men said.

“Yea, got it,” the other man responded.

Jimin closed his eyes and listened. He could hear the sound of their fading footsteps. They were leaving. He thought there were three men chasing him, but after hearing the voices, he assumed there were only two. Still, he was hesitant to reveal himself. He needed to know for sure that they were gone. So, he waited.

Ten minutes passed by and once again the streets were completely quiet. There was no sound of the men who threatened him. After some consternation, he decided it was safe to come out and make a run for his sailboat. He stood to his feet and crept away from the camouflage of the dumpster. Quietly, he secured his bag over his shoulder again and ran around the rear of the alley, back to the sidewalk. He looked left and then right. The street was clear. He jumped back on his path and continued to sludge through the thick creepy fog.

But within two steps, a shadow lunged towards him. Jimin spun, eyes wide, catching only a glimpse of the large figure before a blunt object cracked against his jaw. Pain flared through his head as he listlessly fell to the ground. The warmth of his own blood puddled under his face, staining his skin crimson. His eyes fluttered briefly as three sets of feet gathered around him. And then…darkness.

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“Get it right. I’m being as patient as I can, but you’re not doing any individual work to improve. It shows. I can see your lack of discipline just as clearly as I can see your lack of conditioning. Don’t waste my time. Either you want this or you don’t. Now be honest with me James - do you want this?” Jeongguk flipped his long purple hair backwards as sweat beaded down his forehead.

He was never one to single out individuals in a group effort, but the sixteen-year-old kid named James was just plain lazy. Not only that, he was a

quitter and didn’t have the grit that was required to be a successful Idol. However, making the agency understand that was near impossible. After grueling try-outs, these were the six talentless, brain-dead idiots that the agency decided to debut.

Jeongguk’s only way to get through to the kid was to hold him accountable in front of his band mates. But the reality of the matter was that it wasn’t just James who was the problem. The entire group sucked and he was tired of dealing with them.

He rubbed his temples in frustration, growing angrier by the minute. They had been at it for weeks with little to no improvement. With only three months before the Idol group’s debut, they still hadn’t even learned the basics of the choreography.

On many occasions, Jeongguk had gone to management and pleaded with them to allow him to simplify the routine. Dumb it down, lower the complexity to actually meet the talent of the boys, but the agency refused to allow him to do so. With all of the competition from the other artists on the label, his newly assigned group - Black Smoke - had to make a splash with their debut. The only way to do it was to come out strong, with difficult choreo and perfectly synchronized dancing. But there was one major hurdle, these kids couldn’t dance. And they avoided synchronicity like the plague. It was a problem that Jeongguk had never faced before. He was given subpar talent and expected to perform miracles.

After a quick walk around the room to relieve some of his tension, Jeongguk barked at the group to get back into formation.

“Again, from the beginning.” He watched them through the mirror as they hustled to line up. Windows were off, opening poses were limp, feet were sloppy, everything about it was a mess. He calmly walked to each member and made the necessary corrections. “Pay attention to how I position you. Memorize it. Repeat it. It must be exactly right every time, otherwise the entire performance will fall. Do I make myself clear?” He yelled.

The kids, ranging in ages from sixteen to nineteen, all nodded. “Yea. Yea.”

“Cue the music!” He yelled. The music started and so did the madness. The studio’s mirror reflected the calamity of missteps. He clapped sharply to try to keep them all on beat. He waved his arms, “STOP. STOP THE FUCKING MUSIC! AGAIN JAMES? AGAIN?” His voice frayed with frustration. “You’re off half a beat. Alex, your arms are flailing around like ramen noodles. Sungwoo, are you even dancing to the same song? I can’t. I can’t do this.” He placed his hands on his hips and walked around the room glaring at them. He pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled with a crinkled forehead. “This isn’t rocket science. This routine is not that hard. You’re not focused. Feel the rhythm, don’t just mimic the steps. Make it your own, watch your lines and mind your technique.” He ran to the front and stood beside James. This time his plan was to dance with them to serve as a checkdown. “No music this time. Just count it out. The first eight counts. And…five, six, seven, eight - bop boo bop, slam, slam, flip, kick jump spin, boom, boom, boom, boom. No! No, it still isn’t right! What the fuck is wrong with you people?”

“Hey, hey boss, maybe take a break?” Rei Hata, the assistant choreographer, could sense that Jeongguk was on the verge of losing it.

She intervened by running up to Jeongguk and gently placing her hand on his chest to keep him from advancing towards the kids. The press of her hand pushed the large locket against his sweaty skin. It was the feel of the locket that made him back down.

“Yea, maybe I’m the one who needs a break,” Jeongguk said with a heavy breath.

“Yea, big fella, a break. I’ll take it from here,” the petite Rei stood only 5 feet to Jeongguk’s 5’ 10”.

But she was fearless because despite his angry words, she knew Jeongguk was a kind, gentle man who wouldn’t hurt a fly. His sullen, agitated mood had little to do with his difficult students and everything to do with his difficult life; woes that extended far beyond the world of dance.

“Thanks kiddo. Let me get some air and then…I’ll be back.”

The members of Black Smoke all whispered,

“Hope he never comes back,” Sungwoo said boldly.

“He’s a total dick,” Alex complained

“Why can’t Rei just teach us the routine?” Sungwoo questioned loud enough for Jeongguk to hear.

“Does his mother know he’s an asshole? I have a feeling she wouldn’t allow assholery in her house,” James added.

Jeongguk could hear all of their angry spittle. He chose to ignore it as he marched towards the glass doors and slammed them open. He stormed into the hallway before eventually sliding down the wall and squatting on the floor. He placed his hand to his chest and closed his fingers slowly around the weighted gold necklace that held his locket. With his long graceful fingers, he fished it out from beneath his sweatshirt. As he did at least one hundred times a day, he opened it and stared at the picture inside. The soft pucker of his lips pressed against the tattered black and white photo. Just as quickly as he opened it, he closed it again and dropped it back inside of his sweatshirt.

Jeongguk really didn’t know if he felt better or worse. No one was as hard on himself as he was. It took a few minutes of self-reflection to realize that his treatment of the boys was overly harsh. The one thing he prided himself in was being a tough but fair instructor who was able to bring out the best in his trainees through love, praise and positivity. But his behavior of late was anything but positive. One of the reasons he was one of the most highly sought after choreographers was because of his ability to work with groups of all ages, getting them to perform at their best without abusive techniques or cruel practice schedules. He just wasn’t himself and if he didn’t get it together soon and get the nugu group on track, he would lose the contract and the confidence of one of the

largest agencies in Busan. He couldn’t allow that to happen, yet he didn't know how to switch course either.

Teaching dance and working with new Idol groups had always been his calling. Even back when he was an Idol himself, his favorite part of the performance was dancing.

Back in 2010, out of thousands who auditioned, Jeongguk was chosen to debut in a new Idol group at the tender age of only thirteen. The Agency recognized his talent and sent him to America for three years to train with some of the best dancers and choreographers in the industry. He put all of his skill into dance, working hard to become both the lead vocalist and the lead dancer of his new group. It was hard work that oftentimes included abusive, draconian training standards. Idols back in the early days didn’t have the same protections that the newer generation groups were afforded. Jeongguk and his other members worked from within to change the system. And he vowed that if he ever became an instructor himself, he would never adopt the mantra of the ignorant people who trained him.

His life as an Idol propelled him to superstardom and by the time he retired he was a wealthy man and a global celebrity. And that is when the former star pursued his dream of opening his own choreography business and dance studio called Jeon Two Step. Business boomed from the first day the doors opened. His reputation as an Idol provided an instant demand for his services. Agencies around the world hired him to train their new groups. He prospered for many years until a personal tragedy caused him to take a short leave from his own company.

Upon his return, he signed a new contract for the group Black Smoke. His mission was simple: make the group fire, propel them to stardom, make the agency money. Black Smoke needed to become household names with TikTok spots, YT shorts, Instagram reels, even Twitter videos. It was something he’d achieved for many of groups. But things just weren’t going as planned with this new group. He feared he was losing his passion for an art that he loved.

Jeongguk’s problem was not his talentless new group. His problem was his newly diagnosed depression and its dastardly ability to creep into every facet of his life, even the parts where he used to be the happiest. There was a nagging tuirse in his bones, a yearning for rest and reset. It was almost to the point of disdain; for his students, for his employees, for his business - for his life. Everything around him felt flat and beige, with no color. He felt as if it had been weeks since something as simple as a smile graced his lips. The joy in his soul was depleted, leaving him alone, sad and loveless.

Sinking further down to the floor, he sat flat with his long legs outstretched, blocking parts of the hallway. He placed his hand against his locket again, just for reassurance that it was still there. He was about to fish it out one more time when he heard the doors to the practice room open.

The boys of Black Smoke came running out, laughing and talking loudly. They were spirited and happy, much too happy for a group that sucked.

“HEY! Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Jeongguk snapped.

Rei laughed, “Leave them alone. I gave them permission to take the rest of the day off. They’ve been working hard and they’re tired. They need a mental and physical break. I gave them some money to go to the movies.”

“WHAT!” Jeongguk jumped to his feet. “Hey, freeze. Don’t you terribly untalented bunch take another step.” He turned back to Rei. “I did not give them permission to cut practice short. They debut in less than two months and they don’t even know the words to their own songs. They couldn’t dance the last eight-count of the choreo if I gave them 100 million Won to do so. What makes you think they deserve a break?”

“Because they are fucking kids!” Rei said sternly. “We have plenty of time to kick their asses and get them in shape. But 90% of learning this stuff is mental. And right now, they are under so much pressure that they could squeeze diamonds out of their asses. You of all people should realize that. You’re the one who always taught me to be mindful of exhaustion both physical and mental. Well they’re exhausted. Nothing you say is going to stick if we keep pushing them to the brink like this. Balance Jeonggukie, isn’t that what you always preach? Balance? We can start fresh tomorrow,” Rei assured him.

“Can we go now?” James whined.

“NO!” Jeongguk yelled.

“YES,” Rei overrode him. “Jeongguk, you’re not thinking rationally. Trust me on this one.”

“Mr. Jeon, we promise to come back refreshed and more focused. You were only thirteen when you were a trainee. Think of how different things would have been for you if you had an instructor who gave you time to be a kid,” Alex said eloquently.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes. “Fine. Go. But be on time tomorrow or else you're running twelve laps around the building. You little assholes.”

“Yes, Sir,” they said in tandem as they saluted.

“That may be the only fucking synchronized thing they have ever done,” Jeongguk whispered to Rei.

“Thank you,” she whispered back. “You won’t regret it, I promise. Take a walk with me. We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk,” Jeongguk said vacantly.

“Ok, then I’ll talk. You listen. There are some things that I need to say to you and…well now is as good of a time as any.”

“Really Rei? Really? Am I about to be lectured about how hard I’ve been on them?”

“No, boss. This has nothing to do with the boys. This is about…you.” Rei held his hand and walked him towards the conference room at the end of the hallway.

“Jeonggukie, I’m just going to say this. You’ve changed. Ever since…the accident…you’ve changed. Grief has no timeline; I realize that but sometimes…I think you’re going backwards.”

“What are you trying to say? That I’m somehow not qualified to run my own business?” Jeongguk snapped.

“NO! No, of course not. I’m just saying…shit this is difficult. The Jeongguk who was training those kids today, is not the person you are, not the Jeongguk that I’ve grown to love and respect. And I don’t mean to be harsh and I’m only saying this because I care,” Rei said boldly. She leaned closer to her beloved boss and stared straight into his doe eyes. Her heart beat like a drum as she took in the face that was once the most beautiful in the world, but now sullied and marred with sadness and depression. She said the words that she had to say, “I think you need a break. Not just from the boys but from the studio.”

“I just got back from a break.”

“No, you just returned from a period of grieving. But now I think you need to do some soul searching and try to figure out what really matters to you these days.”

“My company matters to me. What are you going on about?” Jeongguk said harshly before jumping to his feet.

“Take a vacation. Let me run things for a while until you’re in a better state of mind.”

“Let you run things? Are you fucking insane? How dare you try to push me out of my own company…,”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M DOING!” Rei argued. She clenched her fists and tried to remain calm, “Jeongguk. This business means everything to you. You built it from the ground up. I would never try to push you out or take it away from you. I’m trying to help you.” She took a deep breath before continuing, “We’ve been receiving complaints, not just from the Agency in charge of Black Smoke, but from other trainees as well. Jeongguk, you’re not the same. The routines are not inspired like they once were, the choreo isn’t as sharp, and your attitude is…well everyday feels like we’re all walking on egg shells. The staff feel it, the trainees feel it. Something fundamentally has changed within you.”

Jeongguk could feel tears sting in the corner of his eyes. As much as he hated to admit it, Rei had a point. “You know what I’ve been through these last few months. You know what hell I am constantly living in. It takes every ounce of my strength to get out of bed in the morning. Surely you can’t criticize me for that.”

“I’m not. I love you for your bravery, your coping skills. Your ability to push through the pain. But I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do in this situation. It’s too soon. You still have healing to do my friend.” Rei reached out and touched his hand. Tears began to slide down her cheek as she and her boss experienced an intimate moment of shared pain. “I miss him too, so I understand. Maybe you rushed back to work too soon. I’m afraid that if we don’t get you back to your old self, then people will start to talk and possibly even take their business elsewhere. I know you’re hurting but maybe you need to deal with that pain first.”

“What are you proposing?”

Rei rubbed her fingers through Jeongguk’s long, flowing, bright purple hair. She tucked it behind his ear as she looked at him lovingly. Over the years of them working together, he had become like a little brother to her. Seeing him in pain was almost crippling.

“A vacation. Give yourself some time. Don’t worry about the boys, I’ll get them ready for the debut. You focus on yourself,” Rei concluded.

He knew that she meant well. Still, it hurt to hear the truth. His insecure petty side wanted to accuse her of being disloyal. But the more intelligent, less emotional part of himself knew that he had to listen to what she was saying. She loved the business just as much as he did and if she felt this way, then things were much worse than Jeongguk even realized.

Despite the tension, Jeongguk didn’t have anything more to say to Rei because every single word spoken would have just been followed by a flood of tears. His silence became a matter of tacenda, masking his true emotions for the greater good. He didn’t want to break down in front of her, appearing weak and out of control. So instead, he stood to his feet and walked out without looking back.

***

If there was anything that Jeongguk didn’t have to worry about while he was away, it was the operation of the studio. Rei was a world renown choreographer who had worked for him for years. He was lucky to have her and she was the real heart behind the business. She knew how to run things and she could be trusted to make Black Smoke’s debut successful.

Jeongguk walked along the shore front, weeding in and out of the quaint little shops along the way. He grabbed a to-go cup of coffee from his favorite shop, Milestone Coffee, and then found a seat on a bench at the edge of the sea. The weather was chilly. The bright sun warmed his face, highlighting his shoulder-length purple hair. He lifted his chin to the sky, hoping to absorb as much of the remaining sun as possible. After all, Vitamin D was supposed to help with depression.

He finished his coffee as he watched lovers and families meander up and down the pier. Everyone else seemed so happy. Even the squawking Seagulls flying overhead seemed blissful. So why was happiness so elusive for him? He wondered.

As much as he tried to avoid it, his mind wandered to all of the places that he didn’t want it to go. He sat there alone for hours, thinking, overthinking, rethinking.

At the foundation of his angst and discontentment was the not knowing. Where had he gone? Why hadn’t they found him yet? Those were the thoughts that tortured him the most. He was lost. The ocean was so vast, he questioned if he would ever get answers about what had happened to him. There were still so many questions that had gone unanswered.

Months of therapy still hadn’t brought him any peace. Every day he felt buried in abulia, with no path forward.

The thought of it all brought him to tears. Once again, he clutched the large locket in his hand, the one that he wore around his neck every day and never removed. Memories flooded him. His chest heaved with silent sobs as the tears carved warm trails down his golden cheeks and puddled inside of his dimples. Strands of his long purple hair clung to his damp skin. The horizon blurred in front of him as his anguish twisted in his gut. The unrelenting void left in his life seemed insurmountable. He had friends, but no family, not anymore. Never before had he felt so alone.

As the morning sunrise transitioned to sunset, Jeongguk continued to sit unmoved. The fog was rolling in. He could see it slowly creeping over the horizon. With each passing moment, the ships in the distance became more difficult to see. He pulled his jacket over his shoulders and wrapped a scarf around his neck as the wind picked up.

His full day of thinking had yielded no answers. He still had no idea what his next move was going to be or what kind of sabbatical he was going to take. As he stood to his feet and prepared to head home, a large yacht traveling slowly under the bridge caught his attention.

Jeongguk didn’t know much about yachts, but during his Idol days, he spent several vacations on chartered tour cruises. Despite the recent tragedy in his life, he still loved the water and still loved traveling by boat. His eyes locked on the front deck where a man sat alone on a plush leather couch reading a book. It occurred to him that maybe this was the answer that he had been searching for; a long cruise on a private yacht to lands far away like New Zealand or Hawaii or Perth. Anything was possible given the amount of money he had stashed away.

“A charter. What better way to clear my mind than to brave the open sea,” he laughed. His smile was genuine which surprised him.

The more he thought about it, the more the idea made sense.

***

The following morning Jeongguk arose bright and early. There was a pep in his step and he moved with purpose. The first task on his list was to find a reputable yacht chartering company that could whisk him on his journey.

But finding the right one was not as easy as he expected it to be. Chartering yachts was somewhat of a niche practice reserved for millionaires and athletes. He was financially established, but nowhere near the wealth of people who traveled in yacht circles. It was difficult to find reviews from trusted sources. After two hours of scouring the Internet, he came up empty.

And then he had an idea. He was still in touch with many of the old managers and staff from his Idol days. They had booked countless excursions for him and his members and they likely knew exactly where to start with planning his trip.

His first call was to an old friend named Hobeum Sung. The two of them were still close and Jeongguk suspected he would be able to help. The last time he’d seen Hobeum was at the Memorial service and at the time he urged Jeongguk to call him if he ever needed anything.

He scrolled until he found his number in his phone.

“Hello?” Hobeum answered quickly, likely because he saw Jeongguk's name on the caller ID. “Jk is that you?”

“Hobeum!” Jeongguk nodded. It was good to hear his voice. “Yea, it’s me.”

“Oh man, I’m so happy to hear from you. I know it’s been a rough few months. How are you holding up?” Hobeum asked softly.

Jeongguk didn’t trust his emotional state so he moved quickly past that question, “Things are getting better. Listen, I need a favor.” His tone and pivot made it clear that he didn’t want to dwell on that topic.

“Sure, anything.”

“Do you remember that time we went to Brazil and rented that luxury yacht to take us out to sea for a couple of weeks? I think it was 2016?”

“Sure do. That was one of the biggest trips I’d ever planned.”

“Well, I’m thinking of taking a similar trip but I have no idea where to start with planning something like that.”

“A trip? By yacht? I can definitely help. I still have the card for the charter company the supplied the boat. They have a new fleet of yachts that will take your breath away. How many people and where would you like to go? And when?”

“I want to leave right away within the next two weeks. And I think I want to go to New Zealand with some really scenic stops along the way,” Jeongguk explained.

“Nice! That’s a great idea. I traveled with my wife and her family recently and went to Australia so the route will be similar. We stopped in Hawaii and a few other places. The pacific is a rough sea so be prepared but on these super cruisers the trips are pretty seamless. It’s not going to be cheap but it will be the trip of a lifetime. I can promise you that.”

“Yes! This sounds like exactly what I need. I just want to get away for a while, clear my head and try to get the last few months behind me. When can we finalize the details?”

“Today. I’ll call and see what’s available. But you didn’t answer my question…how many people?”

“Just me.” Jeongguk knew he sounded crazy. Taking a trip halfway around the world alone was not something that people typically did.

“Just-just you? Are you sure?” Hobeum was suddenly concerned.

“I’m sure. I need to do a little soul searching and that’s best done alone. Surely you understand.”

“Yea, I get it, I guess. But even if it’s just you, there’s still going to be about three or four crew members required to operate a boat that big. Are you ok with that?”

“Whatever it takes,” Jeongguk shrugged.

“Good. I’ll make all of the arrangements and call you when it’s time to pay the bill.” Hobeum laughed. “But uh…while I have you on the phone, I’d like to see you. Do you have time in your busy schedule of international travel to have lunch with your old manager? I miss talking to you.”

Jeongguk hesitated before responding. The first instinct was to refuse the offer. But his therapist had warned him about self-isolation. He could hear his voice bitching in his ear about the importance of being social and staying in contact with friends. It was only for that reason that he agreed, “Sure. Let’s get together tomorrow. Lunch - on me.”

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Chapter Two: Terror Of The Seas

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