November 4th - 6:oopm KST

 

November 4th, 2023

 

Jimin grinned naughtily at his phone before placing it down on the counter. He studied himself in the mirror, contemplating if he needed more volume on the left side of his hair. He was blonde again, a surprise specifically for Jeongguk and their pending trip to Japan. The locks that framed his face felt natural, like returning to his organic state. The color suited him well. He’d worn it for so long that it seemed like a birthright, like home. 

Content that his hair was as good as it was going to get, he moved on to his outfit for the evening. He hadn’t had a chance to ask Jeongguk what he was wearing, but he knew his boyfriend and his stylist well enough to predict that he would likely be adorned in all white, like a shiny new bride on top of a wedding cake. After all, it was Jeongguk’s night; his GOLDEN album release party. He was the single star of the show and all of the other members proudly and respectfully took the backseat.  

That also meant that Jimin needed to wear black to compliment him and maintain their black and white couple status. So black was the final decision. Fortunately for Jimin, Chanel sent over a full ensemble with a $3000 pair of jeans, and a $6,000 embroidered sweater - all in black.

But before Jimin could change, there was a knock at the door. He glanced at his $55,000 Rolex watch to check the time. They weren’t due at Jeongguk’s party for another two hours, so he wondered who could be visiting.

 

The awkward, yet rhythmic knock continued; a sure sign that it was his Hyung/neighbor at the door.

Jimin smiled, “Just a minute.” He stopped in his bedroom briefly to pull on a sweater before answering the door. 

“Joonie! What are you doing here so early?” Jimin welcomed his bandmate inside.

“We need to talk,” Namjoon said as he walked into Jimin’s apartment and headed straight for his dining room table. 

“Talk? This sounds serious. Talk about what?”

“You know what…in fact you know exactly why I’m here two hours early. Jimin, I have some things that I need to say to you.”

“How about a drink?” Jimin was not just offering a drink to Namjoon, he also needed one for himself. Whatever Namjoon had on his mind, it was significant.

“Sure, got any beer?”

“I surely do. It’s Jeongguk’s favorite so I keep a lot of it around for when he comes over to…help with my music.” Jimin smiled.

“Jeongguk…,” Namjoon echoed. “Big night for him tonight, huh?”

“Very big. Have you listened to his entire album? Oh God Joonie, it’s extraordinary, definitely Grammy material. And the video…I just can’t say enough about the entire project.”

“I’m sure you have much to say about Jeongguk and this project.” There was a tone of sarcasm in Namjoon’s voice. He didn’t want to appear angry or hostile, so he dialed it back and centered himself. If he was going to get the answers that he needed, he had to be neutral. Pissing Jimin off would get him nowhere so he treaded lightly, “I heard the first couple of songs, but I haven’t had a chance to listen to the entire thing yet. Seems like you’re the only one he played the full album for.”

“He values your opinion very much as well. I’m sure it’s just because he hasn’t had much time,” Jimin explained. “You were the first one to hear Seven.”

“Time has nothing to do with it. More like preference. It’s your opinion that matters the most to him these days.”

“He’s an incredible man these days. Our little maknae is all grown up,” Jimin gushed.

“Mochi cut the bullshit. Can we just be honest for once?”

“I’m always honest, Joonie. All you have to do is ask the right questions,” Jimin said elusively.

“Are you and Jeongguk soft launching - revealing your relationship?”

“WHAT?” Jimin was taken aback. It was a bold question coming from their leader. “Why would you ask that?”

“Last week, I was in the office. I happened to walk by the film room so I popped my head in there to see how the editing of my documentary was going. Some of your producers from the show were there editing the early footage from Are You Sure. They were making the storyboards for some of your scenes. Talking through the merchandise, that sort of thing. I couldn’t believe some of the locations that were booked for filming. Most of the time you were sharing the same bed. I was even more shocked that our production team and Sejin went along with how the show was portrayed. How do I even say this…?”

“Just say it.” Jimin sipped on a glass of whiskey. He scowled politely at Namjoon as the elder gingerly danced around the topic.

“Jimin, do you have any idea how intimate - fuck I can’t believe I even used that word, but it’s the only way to describe what I saw in your footage. Do you have any idea how romantically involved you two appear to be in those early episodes? You’re all over each other.  Jeongguk is a creature of impulse, so I can understand him not realizing how all of this must look on camera. He’s also the least likely to give a fuck. But you Jimin, you know better. You know exactly what fans will think when they see that shit. There’s only so much the producers can cut without leaving gaping holes in the storyline. Most of your…carrying on…was kept in the show.” Namjoon took a deep breath. It was time to really get into it. He needed answers for the sake of the entire team, “I know you two have had a thing for each other for years and honestly, me and the other guys have looked the other way. We love you both and we understand how things like this can happen, especially considering what you two have gone through together. The five of us even held a meeting with Sejin and the management team to figure out how to handle it. All of the members, every single one of us, decided to support you quietly. We did so by looking the other way and letting you be you. As long as it didn’t hurt the group and as long as you kept it private, under control, we were fine with it. But what I saw in that Are You Sure footage was neither private nor under control. I don’t even understand how you talked management into this fucking idea in the first place. It’s time to be honest Jimin, what’s going on?”

“I love him. He loves me,” Jimin said simply.

“I was afraid of that.” Namjoon quietly reflected upon Jimin’s words as he sipped his beer. He put all the pieces together in his head. “It was Yoongi who pointed it out first. He always knew. We all laughed it off, thinking you two were just fooling around. I honestly didn’t even believe that you were gay. Jin and Tae refused to believe anything romantic was going on between you two. The two naive fools thought you were just really, really, really good friends. It took years for them to come around.”

“Tae knows the truth now. We told him everything when we were together in Jeju.” 

“Tae refuses to tell me anything. He’s very loyal to the two of you. After I saw the footage from the show, I went to him first and asked him to give me his opinion of what was happening between you and Jk.  He told me to talk to you. So I’m here to talk to you.”

“I told you we’re in love. There’s nothing more to say. I need to get dressed. We’ve been talking forever and we need to get to the club.”

Namjoon refused to move from the spot. He continued, diving deep into the heart of the matter, “The reality of your relationship became very clear to all of us when we found out that you were planning to enlist together in the buddy system. Even Jin had to admit it. Yeah…I think that’s when things got real for all of us.” Namjoon reflected again.

Jimin released a heavy sigh, “Fine. So now you know everything. Where does that leave us?” Jimin asked sternly. He worried about where Namjoon was going with the conversation. Would he demand that he and Jeongguk stop seeing each other? Would he demand that management step in to kick them out? Or did he have something even worse in mind?

Namjoon looked Jimin directly into his eyes, “So you admit that this travel show is much more than just content for your fans?”

“It’s much more than that.”

Namjoon was distressed. The information he was getting was troubling, “You promised me that this wasn’t a soft launch, so why the fuck did you chose Sapporo for one of the upcoming locations? The fucking gay capital of Japan. You have to know how this looks? Why there? Why not…someplace else? Anyplace else?”

Jimin was surprised to learn just how much Namjoon knew about their travel plans. He loathed having to justify his decisions, but he was forced to tell his hyung the full truth, “Because we know they’ll treat us well there. They’ll give us the experience we want, make us feel loved unconditionally. It’s one of our favorite places. This show means everything to us, not just Sapporo but the entire show. It’s like the honeymoon we never had.”

“Honeymoon? Why would you even use that word? God Jimin, is it that serious?”

“I told you…we’re in love. I just wanted to spend more time with him. We have no idea how the military is going to change us or what it’s going to do to us mentally. We needed this Joonie, for our own mental health we needed this. Can you imagine carrying a secret so big that it starts to eat at you from within? Can you imagine our frustration with not being able to hug or kiss or hold hands without fear of someone seeing us and finding out our secret? Do you have any idea how it feels to be forcefully shipped with other people, even other members and not be allowed to say a thing? Do you know how hurtful it is to be the subject of ridiculous dating allegations and not be able to defend ourselves? It’s killing us. Something had to give so we created this show. It’s our last chance for a few moments of normalcy before our lives change forever. You can’t fault us for that. You can’t fault us for that - you simply can’t.” Jimin poured out his heart as honestly as he possibly could.

Namjoon’s heart was not prepared for the vulnerability and honesty that Jimin poured over him. Still, he had to consider the bigger picture. He had to think about the group first. “Jimin…I understand what you’re saying but why couldn’t you have just vacationed privately? The fact that you poured all of this into a very public show for Disney, tells me that you’re trying to send a message to the world. And now is just…not the time. We’re in dangerous territory. The company is struggling to source income beyond BTS. Other groups under the label are underperforming. They need to find the next big group in order to give us more flexibility. Until they do, we’re the majority profit source keeping the entire company afloat. Not to mention the stock prices are all over the place due to some questionable acquisitions in the U.S. market. There’s whispers of a legal battle brewing with New Jeans - it’s starting to heat up. Not to mention the political shit happening in the country. There’s just so much going on, you can’t choose this moment to let everyone in. It’s just not the right time. Please reconsider airing this show. Just shelve it…at least until your service is over.”

“No.” Jimin was quick and firm with his answer. No one, not even Namjoon who he respected as much as his own parents, could dissuade him from moving forward with their travel show.

Namjoon had to think strategically about his next move. Jimin was clearly not going to cave and just give in to his requests. Being a leader could be a nasty business. Leaders were there to protect the interest of their teams even if it meant confronting individual members. Namjoon had to consider what was best for everyone. 

But in this case it wasn’t just about the team; it was about the two maknaes who he held so dear to his heart. It was about stopping them from self-destructing. He was in a quandary but he had to protect them. “Jimin, as the leader of this group, I cannot allow you to come out into the open with your relationship with Jeongguk. I understand you’re in love. I understand that you’re frustrated and at a breaking point. I’m not telling you this because I want to control you. I’m telling you this because I love you. So many insiders within the company have tried to convince me behind your back that we needed to stop this, to break you two apart. But I have always refused. I’ve always defended you. I’ve always felt that your relationship, whatever it was, needed to run its course. It would only stand the test of time if it was true love, meant to be. History has proven me right. You two have true love, seven years strong, possibly longer. Even with all of the temptation around you, you still only have eyes for each other. Plus you’ve handled it all so professionally, why would we ever say anything against you?” Namjoon swallowed hard. He was hesitant to say the next piece, “This travel show however…it puts us all in danger and you don’t even realize it. For the first time, I’m questioning your intentions and how all of this will end. We’re about to enter the service at a very tumultuous time in our country. We can’t have the spectacle of a relationship between two band members hanging over all of our heads; especially the two of you.”

“I understand, but I’m not killing the show,” Jimin defiantly defended his position. 

Namjoon could see the hurt in Jimin’s eyes, but it was Jimin’s growing anger that concerned him the most. He didn’t want Jimin to be angry with him for trying to protect him. “I was afraid that you would say that.”

“Is this an ultimatum? Break up or we’re out? Are you…going to recommend that we be kicked out of the group? Will BTS no longer have Jimin and Jeongguk?”

“Kick you out?” Namjoon found himself chuckling. “Yeah, sure if we want BTS to crash and burn and never sell another album again. Sure, that makes sense. Kick out the most popular two members. PJMs would bomb my house,” Namjoon laughed.

“Actually they want me to go solo, so there’s that,” Jimin laughed. It was a moment of levity for both of them.  He shrugged, “Yeah, it would be a pretty dumb move. In case you haven’t noticed, Jeongguk is kind of the best singer on the team and one of the best singers in all of pop.”

“Kinda’ yeah. And you’re kinda’ the best dancer in all of pop so…you’ve got us by the nuts.  Your voice is what gives the group color. It takes all seven of us to make BTS, not five.” Namjoon tried a more 

humble approach to help Jimin understand his side of the argument, “Jimin, the days of threatening members to force them to do what we want ended in 2017 when we became the biggest group in the world. Like I said, we’re the primary source of income for a multi-billion dollar corporation. You and Jeongguk can technically do anything you want to do. However, just because you can do whatever you want, doesn’t mean that you should. Besides, we couldn’t kick you out if we wanted to. And by the way, we don’t want to. That was never even a slight consideration. I told you…I love both of you. We all love you. We’re family. And we’ve all lived with your elicit little affair for years. This conversation is not about making threats, it’s about coming to an agreement. It’s about figuring out how to protect everyone’s best interest personally and professionally. It’s a hard conversation to have, but as the team leader, I have to have it.”

“Agreed.” Jimin’s pounding heart returned to normal. He was relieved to know that Namjoon didn’t feel that he and Jeongguk’s relationship was fatal to the team. “Seriously, me and Koo Koo do kind of have your nuts in a vice grip.” Jimin clenched his small fist and squeezed a pair of imaginary nuts. “Back to my original question. Where does that leave us?”

Namjoon’s face twisted, “Koo Koo? Did you just call him Koo Koo? Yuck.” He shook his head and tried to contain his laughter. After shedding a few chuckles, he moved on, “I tried to get you to kill the show. You refused, so now we negotiate. Can we have one of the senior producers and the marketing team do the final editing? They’re all very neutral and can give honest feedback on what footage may be a bit over the top. We can make sure that nothing too revealing makes the final cut.”

Jimin gave it some thought. He admitted openly, “We got a little too comfortable living in our own world during filming. We haven’t seen any of the footage yet but we were very unguarded. Maybe we can agree that it was a bit too provocative at times based on what you saw. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Tae being there…things may have gotten out of control. Jeongguk is just…so much fun to be with. We needed to unwind from our busy schedules and things just happened,” Jimin looked away. He didn’t want Namjoon to read his eyes. He didn’t want Namjoon to discover what Tae had accidentally discovered. Jimin and Jeongguk’s relationship had become sexual. 

Namjoon continued, “And…do we agree that now is not the time to make any announcements to the world…about your relationship?”

Jimin didn’t answer that question right away because it hurt too much to think about. Instead he pivoted, “We’re going to continue to be ourselves because that’s what our fans want, but we’ll tone it down.”

“Tone it down and keep it quiet?” Namjoon inquired again, looking for Jimin’s commitment.

“This show is not meant to be a soft launch. I’m not ready to come out of the closet yet. I’m not ready to share my relationship with the entire world. I mean, I wish we could come clean with the truth because hiding our love is painful. But I understand that we can’t do that right now for a variety of reasons. You have my word. I appreciate your concern. Jeongguk however…,”

“Yeah we all know that Jeongguk wears his heart on his sleeve. But I’m hoping that you can talk to him. Help him understand how much is at stake. You can’t go into the military service acting more like lovers than buddies. Mochi, this news is huge. If people found out about this, so many haters would come after you. Your physical safety could be at risk. It’s just too dangerous.”

“That’s fair. We understand that it’s not our time.” His voice trailed off. His mind flashed back to the lyrics of Jeongguk’s first solo hit single,  My Time, and the words rang so true that they echoed throughout the chambers of his beating heart. It just wasn’t their time. 

Jimin said all of the words that Namjoon needed to hear, even though it killed him inside to do so.  As he stared through the window, he could see the sad reflection of his own face bounce against the sunset. Even though he agreed to tone down some of the romanticism from their travel series, his soul ached for having to once again deny his love for Jeongguk.

***

Jeongguk arrived at the Golden Release Party around 8:00pm. The swanky little restaurant was one of his favorites called Woo Hyang Woo Barbecue lounge. It was a high-end restaurant in the heart of Seoul just a few miles from the HYBE building.

The marketing team did a great job decorating the place. It was all decked out in green and gold in celebration of his GOLDEN album. Black SUV after black SUV lined up at the curb, delivering some of the biggest Idols in Seoul. Jeongguk’s invitation list included all of his band mates as well as AESPA, Kim Soo-hyun, Park Seo-joon, and Jung Hae-in just to name a few. 

Jeongguk emerged from the car, flanked by managers and bodyguards. He was a bonafide star and it was his night to shine. Even though the album had been released to rave reviews, he was still nervous. It was the first time that many of his friends, industry people, executives and bandmates would be hearing his all-English album. What would they think? Would they like it? Would they hate it? Would he receive criticism for his pronunciation? Delivering an album in all English was a risky and gutsy move. Yet the fearless maknae of the group did it without hesitation. But at the precipice of it all, he wondered if he had made the right choice. What would his circle of influencers think? Their opinions mattered. 

Decked in all white from head to toe, Jeongguk made his way down the stairs into the body of the exclusive restaurant. His eyes sparkled as he gawked at the publicity photos from his album covers that adorned every room. Never had so much attention been placed just on him. It was surreal stepping out of the shadow of the biggest band in the world. He missed his bandmates and seeing his face solo pictures all around the room only made him miss them even more. 

He was greeted by all of his producers, song writers, and stylists. But his eyes still wandered, looking for the familiar faces that could ease his soul. He didn’t see them - any of them. He proceeded to make small talk and shake hands, but he grew more and more uneasy when he realized that none of his bandmates had arrived. And most importantly, Jimin was nowhere to be found. 

***

Even when the conversations were adversarial, Namjoon was still easy to talk to. Outside of Jeongguk, he was the member that Jimin felt closest to. Accordingly, Jimin purged during their thirty minute drive from Nine-One to Woo Hyang Woo Barbecue lounge. He told Namjoon all of the dirty little truths about the seriousness of he and Jeongguk’s relationship. He even mentioned going back to Japan to celebrate their anniversary of GCF. Namjoon processed all of the information without judgment, even though Jimin could see his mind twisting behind his pensive eyes. Jimin greatly appreciated that Namjoon was just there to listen, only offering advice when prompted. He wanted the best for Jimin and Jeongguk and it showed in the care with which he took to understand them. Jimin was almost sad when their driver announced their arrival at Woo Hyang Woo. There was so much more that he wanted to share with him. 

The door slid open and Namjoon popped out first. Jimin took one last look at his hair and straightened the collar on his sweater before exiting. He hadn’t seen Jeongguk in three weeks and he wanted to look his absolute best. He knew that the blonde hair would delight his young lover to no end, and he was excited to see his reaction. With his Chanel bag tossed askew across his shoulders, he carefully descended the steps into the restaurant. 

***

Jeongguk was shocked when he looked up and saw both Yoongi and Jin walking towards him.

“What are you doing here? Jimin told me that neither of you could make it?”

“Well, originally we weren’t going to come, we couldn’t get approved for the time off. But at the last minute, we were cleared to come. We wouldn’t miss this for the world. It’s not everyday that the youngest releases a solo album,” Yoongi grabbed Jeongguk and gave him a hug. “You look great. I can tell you’ve been working your ass off, you’re all muscle.”

Jeongguk smiled shyly, “I’ve been working hard, that’s an understatement.”

“I saw the video premier. Holy shit Jeongguk, I couldn’t even believe that was you. You’re all grown up,” Jin said seriously. He pulled Jeongguk’s head into his shoulder and pretended to cry. “I’m so proud. The song is so good, the video, the dancing. You’re going to win every award out there,” Jin beamed.

“Hearing this from you two, really means a lot to me. Thank you. Thanks for coming,” Jeongguk felt close to tears. Receiving praise from his hyungs was the ultimate reassurance. 

Jin looked around to make sure that no one was within ear shot and then leaned in to ask Jeongguk a completely different question, “I’m hearing rumors about some show you and Jimin are filming. Porn kind of stuff. What’s that about?” Jin teased.

Jeongguk laughed loudly, “I think calling it porn is a bit aggressive. It’s a travel vlog. No porn. Literally none,” Jeongguk broke into a brilliant smile, hugging Jin tightly as he laughed over his porn allegations. 

“Well keep it in your pants. None of us want to have to explain you two having sex on camera,” Jin continued to tease.

“How are you two doing? From what I’m hearing, you’ve been accepted into the buddy system together. Is that true?” Yoongi asked.

“Yes. It’s the best news that anyone could have given us. We don’t have to be apart. We’re going to serve together. We’ll be assigned to the 5th Division Training Center near Jin.”

Yoongi pulled Jeongguk closer. Jin leaned in as well. They whispered to each other as Please Don’t Change blared through the speakers of the restaurant. “I’m going to give you a little advice.

Everyone is watching you. Be careful with this shit you’re doing with the travel show.” Yoongi’s words felt more like a warning than advice.

Jin added his unsolicited opinion as well, “Don’t do anything drastic. Right now, everyone is buying the buddy routine. In fact, the show is probably helping to sell how close you are as friends. But there’s a fine line between friends and lovers. Tread lightly Jeongguk. We all know how you can be when your heart is involved.”

“Yoongi is right, people are watching you…especially the guys in the 5th Division. I hear the whispers all the time. Everyone wants dirty secrets on Jimin and Jeongguk. Something they can hold over your head for leverage when you join the team. Trust me, the name BTS won’t help,” Jin added.

Jeongguk’s back stiffened. He resented having dire warnings thrown at him in the midst of his very important night. He knew that his hyungs meant well, but he just wasn’t in the mood to hear their bullshit or take their advice. Once again he scanned the room looking for Jimin. 

“Thanks for the advice fellas. I understand everything you’re saying and I promise to…oh hey, I have to go. Excuse me for a second.” Jeongguk turned his back to his two bandmates and walked away. He pretended he needed to talk to a producer. He fetched his phone from his pocket and began texting Jimin right away:

Jeongguk spun on his heels so fast that he was dizzy. He almost didn’t recognize the platinum blonde standing in front of him. The only thing he knew for sure was that the most beautiful man he’d ever laid eyes on was standing there dressed in all black wearing signature Chanel. He vaguely perceived Namjoon as he walked towards him in search of a hug, but he could not take his eyes off of Park Jimin. He leaned sideways and gave Namjoon a partial tepid hug. He was happy to see him, he really was. But he was more impressed with his boyfriend. 

Despite the noise of Seven blaring through the speakers, the room went silent. Jeongguk didn’t even realize that his guests had hit the dance floor to move to his music. The young one could hear nothing, see nothing except the figure in front of him. In his mind, the world stopped because platinum blonde Park Jimin had entered the building.

“Your hair…,” Jeongguk smiled.

“Surprise.” Jimin bit his bottom lip. He prayed that every hair was in place and the color was vibrant beneath the low lighting. He took a single step forward with heavy anticipation of hugging the bandmate who also happened to be the love of his life. “Do I get a hug?” Jimin mouthed beneath the pounding of the music.

Namjoon, Jin and Yoongi watched the two as they stood in the middle of the room gawking at each other. The two of them breathed long heavy breaths as if they wanted to rip each other’s clothes off and fuck right there in the middle of the floor. 

“Sure this isn’t peculiar at all,” Jin rolled his eyes. He’d had enough. He headed over to the bar where all of the members were assigned to sit. 

“Hey, take it easy. People are watching,” Namjoon suggested. He saw Yoongi and went in to greet him,“What’s up Yoon? He gave Yoongi a hug and pulled him towards the bar to have a drink. Let’s give these two a second to work through whatever the hell they’ve got going on. Let me buy you a drink.”

Jimin continued to stare at his young lover, “You look incredible. White is a beautiful color on you. You look like a superstar,” Jimin smiled. He held his position as if his feet were glued to the ground. He couldn’t stop gazing at Jeongguk. He couldn’t believe how good he looked and how much he’d missed him.

“I guess I am a superstar…just for tonight I guess.” Jeongguk put them both out of their misery aby leaning in to give Jimin a platonic hug - as platonic as he could muster given how badly he wanted to yank him into the restroom and fuck him over the urinal.

They patted each other awkwardly on the back and then quickly pulled away. 

Moments later Tae arrived. He charged towards them and pulled them both into another group hug, “Hey guys, it’s been months. So happy to see you. And congratulations Jk, I can’t wait to hear the entire album. I’m hearing Grammy buzz already.” 

“Hey Tae. How are things? How’s Jennie?”

“We are…taking a break. I leave for the military in less than a month and I don’t feel it’s fair to make her wait for me. So…I broke things off. But I really don’t want to talk about that tonight.” There was a clear sign of despondency in Tae’s face. The situation with Jennie was serious and the break up seemed to affect him. Tae leaned in with a different topic. Still holding both Jimin and Jeongguk tightly in each arm, he whispered, “Hey, Joonie’s been asking a lot of questions about Jeju and what I know about your relationship. I kept my promise, I never told him a word. But…I think that maybe he needs to hear the truth from you.”

As Somebody played in the background, Jimin set Tae’s mind at ease. “I’ve already spoken to Joonie. He knows…everything he needs to know.”

“Yeah, what did he have to say about it?”

“He’s worried about the show and what it will reveal, but I handled it. Thanks for keeping your word Tae. Thanks for keeping our secret. We should have never placed you in this position, but you handled it well.”

Jeongguk slid away from Tae’s grip and rounded on Jimin, “What do you mean you told Joonie everything? What did he ask? What did you tell him?” Jeongguk was irritated to know that Namjoon had been asking questions about their relationship behind his back.  

“We’ll talk later. I handled it baby, I promise. Tonight is all about you. Play Hate You again. That’s my favorite song on the entire album.” Jimin smiled. They tried hard, possibly too hard, to look normal, like everyday bandmates.

Tae saw someone across the room that he knew. Like the extroverted charismatic person that he was, he excused himself to go talk to them.

“So Joonie came down hard on you huh?” Jeongguk asked with concern.

“Nope. It was nothing like that. Besides, I handled it. Now go mingle with your guests. It’ll look weird if you just stay here and talk to me all night.”

“But I want to stay here and talk to you all night.”

“Go…,” Jimin pointed to the door where the guests were arriving. 

“Can I at least get you a drink?” Jeongguk asked.

“Whiskey - your best whiskey. The finest you have, not that cheap shit,” Jimin laughed. 

“One whiskey coming up.” Jeongguk could feel the eyes in the room upon them. Jimin was right, he needed to mingle with the crowd even though he hated being social. He whispered a quick, “I’ll be back in a little while. I love you,” before walking away.

***

A few hours later, the liquor was flowing and everyone was in a great mood. Jeongguk’s GOLDEN album had played through about ten times, giving everyone a sense of his incredible work. The album was a certified hit and everyone was in awe of Jeongguk’s ability to deliver it in English. More Grammy buzz filled the room as people discussed their favorite songs. Jin and Yoongi had already left for the night, but Namjoon and Tae were still mingling with the crowd. Jimin, being the nostalgic picture fairy that he was, grabbed them all for a few pictures before the night got too late.

After the photos, Namjoon and Tae said goodnight, leaving Jimin as the last BTS member remaining at Jeongguk’s party. The place was still stuffed with guests. Everyone stood around, drinks in hand, bobbing to the music which had transitioned to a collection of smooth jazz and pop. 

After several minutes of laughter filled conversation with his friend Loco, Jimin scanned the room looking for Jeongguk. He suddenly realized that he hadn’t seen him in a while. It was not unlike Jeongguk’s social battery to run empty during long social engagements. Jimin figured he was hiding, waiting for the party to be over. 

The first person Jimin saw when he left the bar was manager Hamin, one of Jeongguk’s managers. 

“Hey Haemin, have you seen Kookie?”

“Jimin! Hey, good to see you. Nah, haven’t seen him.”

“Thanks,” Jimin shook Hamin’s hand and then went on with his search for his missing boyfriend.

“Seen Jeongguk,” Jimin found Sejin and a few of the front office employees in the dining area.

“No.”

“No.”

“Not for about an hour,” Sejin advised.

After twenty minutes of searching, Jimin began to worry. Jeongguk was nowhere to be found and no one had seen him. He’d searched the entire restaurant. There was no sign of Jeongguk anywhere. Jimin headed downstairs to the lower level. It was dark and no one was there. He walked down the hallway calling for him, “Koo Koo? Are you here?”

No answer. Jimin stopped near the storage room and stood outside of the door. He was growing angry with Jeongguk for ditching his own album listening party. He immediately pulled out his phone to start a text to Jeongguk. 

All at once,  Jimin released a yelp when he felt himself go airborne,“What the…?” 

He looked left and right as he was forcefully yanked backwards. A large hand covered his mouth while pulling him into the pitch dark storage room. There wasn’t a single moment of situational awareness for Jimin before Jeongguk had his lips pressed against Jimin’s neck. His hand moved feverishly, traveling beneath Jimin’s clothes, desperate to feel his warm skin.

Jimin instantly recognized his boyfriend’s touch. He laughed softly, amused by Jeongguk’s trap. And it was definitely a trap. A carefully crafted plot to get Jimin alone.

“What took you so long to come looking for me? I’ve been waiting for you forever,” Jeongguk growled into Jimin’s neck.

“I’m here now,” Jimin wrapped his hands angrily around Jeongguk’s jacket, pulling it down and tossing it to the floor. “Fuck I’ve missed you.”

“I’m here now,” Jeongguk teased using Jimin’s own words. 

Jimin moaned feebly, unable to resist as Jeongguk used his tongue to force his mouth open. It was there where their lips collided, smashing against each other helplessly.

Jimin’s nostrils were filled with the slightest hint of cigarette smoke coupled with the earthy autumness of his boyfriend’s fragrance. He delighted in holding him, feeding on him as if he were his first meal after days of starvation

Their sentences were sparse, uttered between passionate breaths. Jimin’s fingers ran up and down the undulations of Jeongguk’s arm muscles as his teeth pulled at his tank top. He wanted him naked. He didn’t care that they were in the middle of a restaurant, in the middle of a party, surrounded by guests. Their immediate needs superseded their rational thinking. Within a flash, Jeongguk was on his knees twisting the buttons on Jimin’s expensive slacks. He peeled the zipper open.

Jimin was already moaning. He could feel his pants drop and the chilly air of the storage room surrounding his exposed cock. Jeongguk’s heated puffs of breath brushed against his balls. He wanted to cry because he knew what was coming. And it was exactly the freaky shit he wanted to happen in a storage room full of mops and cans of tomato sauce. 

Jeongguk positioned himself on the floor before Jimin’s crotch. He slanted his mouth deeply over the elder’s tip. The first taste of his flesh was like a drug; sweet, elicit, forbidden. The second taste was like honeysuckle, just as alluring as the first. Jimin’s skin was soft despite being stretched taut over his thick erection. He lapped, and sucked and swallowed, stimulating Jimin’s cock until it swelled down his throat. Spit dribbled down his chin, escaping the corners of his mouth, and soaking the front of his shirt as he bobbed his head back and forth over Jimin’s entire length. 

Jimin placed his hands on either side of Jeongguk’s head. With furor, he balled his fists, trapping large clumps of Jeongguk’s hair within them. He bucked his hips, pushing his cock repeatedly into Jeongguk’s mouth, forcing his shaft to dance along the younger’s tongue. After thirteen healthy strokes through Jeongguk’s tight jaws, Jimin’s legs began to tremble. He thrust his head back so hard that he bumped it against the wall, causing the shelves to rattle around them. With the twisting of his fingers, amidst Jeongguk’s shortened locks, he controlled his boyfriend’s head like a marionette, pushing his cock in and out of his wet mouth.

“That’s it…right there…oh Jeonggukie…,” he panted and then doubled over, intensifying the thrust of his hips. 

Jeongguk could suddenly taste a slightly salted warmth puddle in the back of his mouth. With the compression of his jaws, he trapped Jimin’s pulsating cock, fully intending to swallow every iota of his orgasmic fluids. 

Jimin moaned loudly, giving zero fucks about who could possibly hear him. Shivers ran through his body, surging through his fingertips. Before he could complete his release, he was airborne again. Jeongguk braced him in his arms with Jimin’s pants still dangling around his ankles. Their heated tongues wrestled in a filthy  kiss. Jimin could taste his own cum in Jeongguk’s mouth. It was sensual, sublime. Jimin had already cum once but greedily he wanted to cum again. All they had to do was wait until they got home, but neither had the strength to wait that long. 

The larger man anchored his small boyfriend against the wall. Jimin managed to shake his pants loose so that he could wrap his legs around Jeongguk’s seductive body. With his pulsating cock still leaking, he straddled Jeongguk and allowed himself to be jostled about the small storage room. 

Once again Jeongguk was at his lips, parsing them with the insertion of his tongue. Every physical encounter between them seemed to intensify 100 times greater than the last. This time was no exception. The more Jeongguk bounced Jimin in his arms, the more aroused he became. Amidst the tumult and chaos, Jeongguk’s pants magically unfastened and dropped to his knees, exposing a cock so hard that it cut through his CK boxer shorts. Jimin could feel it on his leg and he wanted it inside of him. He desperately wanted it. 

***

Sejin sat at the bar rubbing his temples. Many of the guests were leaving and all of them wanted to know where the guest of honor had disappeared to. Logically, they wanted to say goodbye and wish Jeongguk well with his new project. And that situation was exactly why Sejin instantly had a headache. Sejin knew exactly where Jeongguk was… and Jimin too for that matter. After Jimin had approached him wondering where Jeongguk was, Sejin decided to check the restaurant cameras. He observed just enough footage to realize that Jimin disappeared in the basement near the storage room. And where Jimin was, so too was Jeongguk. Knowing the two of them as well as he did, he hoped for the best - but prepared for the worst. To make his predicament even more annoying, he was the only one who could fetch them and force them to come back to the party. He was the only one in the room who knew their dirty little secret and the only one who knew they were inside of that storage room doing - whatever they were doing. He literally crossed his fingers and prayed that they weren’t fucking. Kissing, blowjobs, nut massages, neck sucking…he’d seen it all before. He could handle anything - except fucking. 

As the few remaining guests mingled amongst themselves, Sejin made a run for it and snuck downstairs into the dark storage area. The heaviness of his footsteps lightly shook the wooden stairs. As he approached the bottom floor, he heard moaning. He was positive that he heard moaning. A slight panic erupted in his head, triggering a few asthma related coughs. His back fell against the rail where he rested for a few minutes. A little mental preparation was in order, given what he predicted the two love birds were doing. He grabbed his chest and pulled his inhaler from his coat pocket. 

“Shit,” Sejin muttered to himself, “they’re fucking. Definitely fucking.” After two healthy pumps from his asthma inhaler, he gathered his wits and continued on. With a deep gulp, he wrapped on the door and mumbled softly, “Guys…uh…well…ok…this is awkward…but uh…your guests…”

There was no answer. The room inside was completely quiet. The moaning that he thought he heard was actually straining from the restroom pipes overhead. His heart pounded in his chest. They were in there, he knew it. So if they weren’t going to come out, then he was going to have to go in. He used his large right hand to cover his eyes and burst through the storage room door. With his eyes still covered, he felt for the light switch and flipped it on once he was inside.

“Guys…I’m sorry…I’m really sorry. But you have to come out now. People are getting suspicious and…,” Sejin peeped through his fingers. He braced for what he might see. 

***

Jeongguk emerged from the elevator with Jimin lagging significantly behind him. With his jacket askew and his zipper still fallen, he immediately waved at the few remaining guests who applauded when he reappeared. He took his time shaking hands and wishing everyone goodnight. As soon as he spoke his first word, the taste of Jimin’s seed tickled the back of his throat. He licked his lips and smiled, happy to have the lingering reminder of their little trist.

Jimin gave Jeongguk a few minutes lead time before strolling over to the bar with his hands in his pockets. As casual as he tried to appear, beads of sweat dripped down his forehead. He couldn’t believe how close they had come to getting caught. Thankfully they had heard the footsteps and coughing coming from the stairwell. Otherwise they wouldn’t have realized that anyone was coming. They were so terrified of getting caught that they were able to redress within milliseconds before fleeing the back door of the storage room and racing for the opposite end of the basement where they took the service elevator to the main floor. 

Jimin squatted uncomfortably. He was wet around the crotch, covered in a combination of spit and cum. His pants were on inside out and his underwear was missing. They had moved so fast that Jimin misplaced his underwear and had no time to collect them. Somewhere behind one of the shelves of tomato sauce, his black CK boxers lay abandoned.

Sejin couldn’t believe he had been wrong about what Jimin and Jeongguk were up to. He felt guilty for thinking the worst of them. They were nowhere to be found in the storage room which meant they were probably someplace innocent where he just hadn’t looked. Even though he felt bad for misjudging them, he was relieved. He turned out the lights to the storage room and climbed back up the stairs. As soon as he reached the top, he looked over and saw Jimin mingling at the bar. The room was mostly empty and Jeongguk stood near the door greeting his guests as they exited.

“Jimin. There you are. I was looking all over for you. I even…,” Sejin laughed at himself and whispered his thoughts, “I even thought you may have snuck down to the basement…,” his cheeks turned red 

as soon as he said it. “I can’t believe you were up here the entire time. I even went down there to look for you.” Seijin laughed again. He tapped the bar for the bartender to bring him a glass of wine.

“Looking for us? So that was you?” Jimin said unconsciously. He stared into the bottom of his glass with a slight smirk. 

“What was me? What do you mean?” Sejin sipped his wine. His world was suddenly happy and in order again.

“Ah…nothing. Nothing. Well now you’ve found me.”

Jeongguk approached with a certain urgency in his gait. “Hey, looks like everyone is gone, so I’m about to dip as well. I have an early flight to the U.S. tomorrow, so…,” he glanced at Jimin, signaling him to back-up his story.

“Uh-uh yes! YES! He has to go. I bet he’s not even packed.” Jimin let out a loud obnoxious giggle as he fell across the counter. 

“Nope. Not even packed…so I’ll be going now. Great party Sejin, thanks for helping to put all of this together. Jimin…it was lovely to see you again. I’m going to leave the party now…alone…and travel alone to my apartment and sleep there…alone. I’ll see you when I return from New York.” Jeongguk extended his hand for a handshake. Jeongguk was a terrible liar, leaving Jimin once again to awkwardly validate his ridiculous explanation.

“Uh…uh…,” once again, Jimin scrambled for words, “sounds like a great plan. Great plan. We’ll have a beer when you’re back in town. I’m going to go out to my car and you hurry over to yours. Separately we will travel to our respective homes. Goodbye now…,” Jimin held his laughter so tightly that his stomach ached. He shook Jeongguk’s outstretched hand and then sprinted towards the first black SUV that was lined along the curb. 

Sejin followed them out to make sure they reached their cars safely. He had known both men since they were young teenagers. Of course he knew when they were lying. And they were definitely lying. At the same time that the astute manager was sniffing out their untruths, he also happened to notice that Jimin’s pants were inside out. At no point had Jimin’s pants been inside out earlier in the evening. Sejin had the pictures to prove it. They certainly weren’t inside out when Jimin was scouring the place looking for Jeongguk. So what changed? 

Sejin tilted his eyebrow upwards. A closer look at the other one revealed that Jeongguk’s pants weren’t even zipped. And both of them had wild hair tossed all over their heads. Neither of them had been disheveled earlier in the evening. And he could see faded traces of lip prints and red marks on each of their faces. As he watched both of their cars drive away, it was at that moment that he knew.

“Oh fuck me,” Sejin said aloud, realizing that he had been right all along. It was the two of them that he’d heard in the storage room. Somehow they had managed to sneak out right before he busted them. He laughed at them, at himself, at the entire situation that was quickly growing out of their control. They had done the very worst, in a public place where the stakes were the absolute highest, yet that had gotten away with it. Once again they had given into their temptation with no consequences which meant they would definitely do it again. Sejin felt a pang in his chest as he once again feared for their future. They had escaped again, but would they be so lucky next time?

***

What began months prior as a gruff, selfish, uneven style of fucking had blossomed into passionate and artful resplendence; a sexual performance that was the apotheosis of beauty.  Over a very short period of time Jeongguk had learned what it really meant to make love, to express love, to create love. His every move was calculated, practiced, and delicate. He knew how to prepare Jimin’s body to take him and he knew exactly what to give him. In Jimin’s mind, it was easily the most dramatic transition they’d ever experienced in their seven years of being in love. They became two completely different people between the sheets, with a love that differed greatly from anything they’d ever shown to their adoring public. 

For at least a minute, there was no sound or movement, except the angry friction of their breaths. Jimin’s eyes were fixed wide, his mouth gaped, his chest tight as he felt Jeongguk’s entire length slide into him.

He had no idea how Jeongguk had managed to enter him so painlessly. He urged his hips upwards towards him, countering the waves from his body. Jeongguk’s strokes were tight, shallow with a subtle rhythm that left Jimin entranced. 

“I’m all the way inside…so deep…fuck so deep,” Jeongguk whispered softly, focused on Jimin’s every breath, looking for any sign of pain or discomfort.

“I can take…a little more but don’t hurt me,” Jimin said impishly. His innocent act played right into Jeongguk’s need to dominate and protect.

Each strike of Jeongguk’s sword was like a shock of heat. Jimin wrapped his arms around the pillow as he laid on his stomach, accepting Jeongguk’s gentle pounding from behind. Every few strokes Jeongguk would withdraw, just to run his tongue up and down Jimin’s gaping hole. Jimin knew that his selfless boyfriend was buying himself time, forcing down his fugacious propensity for cumming too soon by pulling away from the warmth of Jimin’s body.

The final time was one too many because Jimin could no longer stand the emptiness. He rolled over to his back and pulled Jeongguk’s large heavy body down over him. 

“Come back, I need you,” he whined as his trembling fingers encountered the hard shape of Jeongguk’s massive arousal. He stroked the trembling cock several times with his hand before guiding it back to his empty space. Folding his legs into his chest, he presented his oil slicked entrance to his lover once again. “Cum inside of me,” he whined. 

Within seconds he felt the head of Jeongguk’s cock pop through his entrance. Once again the slow steady strokes resumed with the younger burying agonized groans into the crook of Jimin’s neck.

And then came another slight shift in position as Jeongguk sat on his knees, legs anchored firmly into the overly soft mattress. The younger grabbed each of the elder’s ankles and placed them over each of his shoulders. His hips rolled like ocean waves, driving deeper once again into Jimin’s slick abyss. He kissed the arches of his feet and licked the padding on each of his toes while never missing a stroke. Jimin felt himself burn crimson from head to toe as his body reacted to the intensity of the fuck. Once again Jimin’s soft eyes widened while his brows furrowed. He couldn’t believe what was happening to him, and how his baby was making him feel. He tried to speak but the orgasm carried his words away. The only thing he could do was nod and pant as his orgasm contorted his body, bending him like an inverted rainbow as his velvety seed burst from his tip.

Like dominoes, they triggered each other. The roar of Jimin’s orgasm peaked just as Jeongguk’s began. Everything ignited as they emotionally disappeared amidst a furor of need. Jeongguk’s arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend. Holding Jimin against the hardness of his body, he used his vast strength to push his cock to the deepest point of Jimin’s insides. And it was there where he released, holding himself in place so that every iota of his cum was deposited inside of the one he loved. They both gasped and went still, absorbing the feel of it.

He withdrew amidst a puddle of velvety sweet liquid that clung to his pubic hairs. His body went limp as he fell to Jimin’s side. They had both entered a completely new phase in their relationship; one that left them emboldened with power over the other. Dangerous indeed.

***

 

The alarm clock sounded at 9:00 am the following morning. It was dreary, cold and rainy, exactly like Jimin’s heart. The thought of Jeongguk leaving again was intolerable. As the younger one showered, Jimin ordered take out from a local restaurant down the block from Jeongguk’s apartment. If the roles were reversed, Jeongguk would have made sure that Jimin had a home cooked meal before traveling. But as luck would have it, Jimin wasn’t as adept at cooking as his boyfriend. To make up for it, he made sure to order a nice hearty meal to help tide Jeongguk over until his flight. It was the least he could do after the incredible night that Jeongguk had given him.

As Jimin set the table, he maneuvered around the three large suitcases that Jeongguk had stacked behind the couch. His lover was off to New York again, but this time some of the most important performances of his solo career were scheduled.  From a live appearance on GMA to a pop-up concert in Times Square on the TSX stage. It was his time to shine and his time to show the world what he could do. Jimin ran his hands along the scores of awards that sat atop Jeongguk’s counter - most of them still in their original wrappers because Jeongguk hadn’t had time to unwrap them. Jimin could feel the tears begin to well in his chest. He was so proud of his maknae. The shy young kid who was once too timid to even take his shirt off in front of the other members was now half naked on a billboard in the middle of New York City sporting a pair of CK jeans. How quickly the night had changed. 

The tears that he tried to hold back, suddenly began to fall. Was he just proud of his boyfriend? Was he just dreading being apart from him? Or was there something completely different clawing at his emotions? Jimin didn’t know. He didn’t understand his own tears.

“You only get this pensive when you’re thinking about military service. Is that why you’re upset?” Jeongguk appeared. His hair was wet and he was rubbing it briskly with a large towel. He was shirtless and moist. He parked behind Jimin, giving him a back hug with plentiful kisses along the neck.

Jimin just wasn’t ready to address all of the emotional shit that was embedded in his brain. He leaned back into Jeongguk’s embrace and shut down all of the thoughts. 

“Your breakfast is ready. I’m not in a cooking mood so I ordered you something.” He smiled.

Jeongguk turned him around and gazed into his eyes, “So is this what we’re going to do? Pretend that nothing is bothering you?”

“Yep. That’s exactly what we’re going to do. I need you focused. You have a big two weeks ahead of you. So many incredible opportunities to show the world who you really are and showcase your talent. I am…a very proud boyfriend.” Jimin was wearing a silk robe that was three sizes too big. It belonged to Jeongguk, of course. Even though Jimin had plenty of clothes that he kept at Jeongguk’s place, he chose to wear his boyfriend’s clothes every time.

“Fine. At your stubborn request, I’ll ignore your emotional turmoil - for now. Moving on to something else, tell me what Namjoon said to you yesterday before my party. You said he confronted you about the travel show and our relationship.”

“Joonie meant well. Please don’t be angry with him. It was a venial conversation where we both said what we needed to say.”

“And what exactly did he say?”

“Same old shit we always hear. Are you in love? Are you soft launching? Do you plan to expose your relationship? Do you realize how revealing the travel show is…? That kind of stuff,” Jimin said with frustration. 

“Wait…how did he know anything about the travel show?”

“Just our luck that he saw some of the footage while they were editing the first few episodes. He was beyond concerned to learn that we shared the same bed during several of our stays. He called you bopping me in the nose a MMA match. He was full of questions and opinions.”

“That must be how Jin and Yoongi found out. He must have told them. That’s why they ambushed me at my party. I guess it’s all hands on deck to make sure that we don’t get out of line and ruin BTS,” Jeongguk said sarcastically.

“Look baby…I had to make some promises…you know, to calm everybody down.”

“What did you promise?”

“I agreed to let a third party take another look at the final cut of the show before it airs, just to make sure that viewers don’t see anything that might be misinterpreted.”

“Uh-huh, adding another editor. Good idea,” Jeongguk laughed. “What else did you promise?”

“I promised that we would continue to keep our relationship - a secret. No fan reveals. But his concern wasn’t about what we planned to tell people. He was more worried about how cuddly we looked on the travel show.”

“We never had plans to tell anyone. Our chemistry is so explosive on screen that it’s hard to hide what we really feel.”

Jimin nodded, “I love you. You love me. It shows. We can’t hide it. We’ll do what we can to tone things down, but at the end of the day…,”

“...at the end of the day, you can’t stop two people who are in love.”

“They’re trying to protect us from ourselves. The members love us, Joonie said as much. They even met behind our backs to talk about how they were going to handle us. Joonie sounded so serious that for a second, I thought he was going to give us an ultimatum and threaten to kick us out.”

“KICK US OUT!” Jeongguk’s head snapped around to glare at Jimin.

“Don’t worry…don’t worry. It was nothing like that. Like I said, they love us but you can’t blame them for worrying about what’s best for the group.”

“You have nothing to worry about from me. I know everyone thinks that I’m the loose canon, but it’s actually you,” Jeongguk said seriously.

“Fuck. It is actually me. The secrets are killing me inside.” Jimin laughed with the realization that he was the one who was struggling the most with keeping their secret.

“When are you leaving for Budapest?” Jeongguk changed the subject.

“November 15th, just before we head to Japan. I’m going to miss your showcase on the 20th at Jangchung Stadium. I feel terrible about it. Please forgive me. We just couldn’t make the schedule work.”

“Baby, it’s ok. You have your own work to do that’s more important. Your album is going to be huge. You have to put all of your energy into getting it ready because you won’t be here to promote it. I don’t need you to be in the audience at my showcase. I need you to be in my arms, in my bed. Perks of fucking the star,” Jeongguk teased.

Jimin appreciated Jeongguk’s understanding, “We won’t meet up again until the 23rd. That feels like such a long time,” he pouted.”

“It’s only nineteen days. Nineteen. And when we meet again, our work will almost be complete and we can really relax. Time will pass before you know it.”

“I’m going to miss you though. Every time you leave, it hurts more and more.”

Jeongguk refused to indulge Jimin’s melancholy. Instead, he decided to cheer him up. “So your entire MUSE theme is ‘blonde Jimin’? It wasn’t just for me?”

Jimin took the bait. “It was mostly for you. And then partially for the fans. I haven’t been blonde in years. I thought it would be a nice surprise for everybody.”

“Who is my heart waiting for?” Jeongguk stood and danced around the table as he sang Jimin’s song. “So many people to seeeee-eeeeeee and places to gooooooooooo. I still haven’t found hello,” he did a few hip thrusts which sent Jimin spiraling into laughter.

“Sit down. You’re so silly.”

“You’re silly.”

“No. You.” Jimin stood up and folded his arms in an attempt to play tough guy with Jeongguk.

The younger was considerably larger but definitely less intimidating. He unfolded Jimin’s arms and then placed both of Jimin’s hands on his butt cheeks. Jeongguk boasted as he flexed his ass. I’ve been working out,“Squeeze. Feel how plump my ass is…almost as nice as yours,” he teased again.

“Your ass will never be as nice as mine,” Jimin laughed. 

 

They held each other close. Bitter hints of coffee wafted from their lips. And just like that, the familiar cravings arose again. Instinctively Jimin tilted his head back, baring his neck for Jeongguk’s teeth. And like a hungry vampire, the younger bit into him. But it was a bite of delicacy, playfulness, and love. He took the innocent offering of Jimin’s neck with a low savage growl. He touched his tongue to Jimin’s lips, causing Jimin to open his mouth to him, using his own tongue to slide against the other. They both shivered and gasped as a new weakness flooded their senses. Once again they found themselves starving for each other. 

There was no pretense. They both knew what needed to happen. It was the Yin and Yang, the balance that kept them stable. For every night of passionate, tear-filled, euphoric love making, there had to be an equally dispassionate, quick and dirty fuck. This was it.

Jeongguk leaned Jimin over the dining table and pushed him down, trapping the elder’s chest against the cold surface of the glass. Jimin could feel the motion of Jeongguk whipping out his cock. The warm hardness bounced against his thigh. Maybe it was just because he wanted him so badly, but his lover’s dick seemed almost foreign with its weight and thickness pressed against him.

And then came an ominous whisper, “You’ve got ten days to tighten this ass back up and be ready to dance for your video. But until then, I’m going to fuck you until you beg and plead for me to stop.”

“Never.” Jimin’s arms were trapped within the fabric of the silk robe. Jeongguk pulled them gently, stretching them backwards as he mounted him. “Give me something to make me remember you while you’re gone,” Jimin moaned as the fuck began.

Jeongguk’s strokes were lusciously hard and rough. He released Jimin’s arms, allowing him to spread them across the table. Jimin’s body was smeared all over the glass surface, with his elbows teetering across the dirty dishes. His legs trembled as Jeongguk’s hips clapped against him, stroking him from behind. 

With every turbulent stroke, Jimin was lifted slightly off of the ground. The duality of Jeongguk’s love making was mind numbing. He never knew which sexual profile Jeongguk would deliver. It didn’t matter because he loved every iteration. 

“Shit I’m about cum,” Jimin announced with a lusty moan.

Breathing harder, more forcefully, he grabbed for anything he could reach as he was sprawled against the tabletop. Plates and glasses clattered beneath him. After spilling mugs of tepid coffee and knocking forks and chopsticks to the ground, he fisted a hand full of dish towels that he squeezed until his hands cramped. The orgasm made him dizzy with pleasure. The thunderous claps of body against body made his teeth clench. His eyes bulged wide before falling shut as his cock quietly pulsated, spewing cum across the glass in hot heavy ropes. Aftwards, he laid his head on the table as Jeongguk continued to buck into him.

 Jeongguk gave Jimin’s ass several slaps as a signal that he was about to cum. The young one was a moaner, and he liked to talk dirty and say filthy things. Every sound that came from his mouth reverberated off the walls like the soundtrack to the filthiest porn flick. He was loud and the harder he came the louder he got. Jeongguk came hard, roaring like an angry Panther. His tip squirted violently, erupting like a volcano.

The table beneath Jimin rattled like turbulence from an earthquake. Trapped in his own euphoric abyss, he barely registered the cum that had been deposited inside of his body. He only realized it when the warm liquid dripped down his thigh and onto his bare feet. By the time he came down from his high, he had crawled onto the table and had bacon stuck to his right nipple. It was the craziest fuck he had ever experienced and also one of the best. Whatever sadness he may have been feeling, Jeongguk had soundly fucked it out of him. 

***

A couple of hours later and it was time to say goodbye. Their time together had fortified them, given them strength to part for another nineteen days. They both had plenty of work to keep them busy but it still wasn’t enough to dull the ache of missing each other. 

Haemin, Mr. Lee and the rest of the security team arrived to escort Jeongguk to the airport. Jimin artfully slipped out before they arrived to avoid being spotted at Jeongguk’s apartment. Even though they were friends and bandmates, something about being freshly fucked always seemed to change the dynamic between them, leaving them much more vulnerable to passing romantic cues in front of the team.

“Good luck with everything. I’m so proud of you. I’ll be watching, ok?” Jimin smiled as he stepped into the hallway.

“I’ll text as soon as I land. I can’t wait to see the video. I’m so excited and I’m proud of you too. See you in a couple of weeks…I love you.” Jeongguk’s love proclamation sounded much sadder than it should have. 

“I love you too…,” Jimin replied. 

“Two weeks, only two weeks. We’ll be together again in only two weeks,” Jeongguk said with optimism. He could already see the tears in Jimin’s eyes. 

“Yeah,” Jimin gave him a final kiss before heading to the elevator. 

Jeongguk knew Jimin better than anyone else. He recognized Jimin’s disposition. He knew that his sadness wasn’t just about them being apart. He knew that Jimin was going through something much bigger, much more substantial. And it all revolved around military service and how it would change their lives. The fear of the unknown, the unforced errors of change and the disappointment of lost youth. Jimin was a complex man with complex thoughts and his thoughts could sometimes be crippling. Jeongguk knew that he was going to have to be there for him, support him and cry with him. He knew they had rough times ahead, but he boldly accepted the responsibility of being by his side and walking step by step together through the journey. Afterall, that’s what love was about…

***

November 23rd, 2023 - Tokyo, Japan

The moment they stepped off of the airplane at Haneda Airport, flashes blinded them. They diverted their eyes to the ground to maintain their footing. The airport lights were bright, piercing and revealing. Jeongguk awkwardly pulled his hoodie forward to make sure that his neck was covered. The two had done quite a bit of canoodling on the flight and he didn’t want anyone to see the love bites that his horny bandmate had left along his skin.

 Jimin held onto Jeongguk’s arm tightly as they were pushed through security. The Keisatsu-cho police huddled around them, holding the mass of people behind security ropes. Mr. Lee, their security guard, gently caged them as he hustled them quickly through the airport crowd. 

“Jeongguk, Jeongguk, look up,” a reporter from The Japan Times chirped as Jeongguk and Jimin were rushed through the airport. 

“How did they even know we were here?” Jimin laughed as he paused to wave at the ever growing crowd of fans. 

What made the fans’ attendance so remarkable was that Jimin had not announced his travel with Jeongguk. Internationally, their trip triggered much speculation about the two of them and what they were doing together. Nasty rumors were planted, causing many to question their secretive travel. Everyone wanted to know why Jimin was there. Everyone drew their own selfish conclusions, even though reality stared them right in the face. The prevalence of those rumors sat well with Jimin. He viewed them as sacrosanct, small vindication against those who hated seeing them together.

As for the fans in Japan, they didn’t seem to care about the why. The news that Jimin had landed with Jeongguk spread fast and elicited a quick reaction. Supporters and lovers of the duo arrived in droves to greet them. Jimin was genuinely touched. He could feel their love.

As members of BTS, they were used to the flashes, the flurry of people and the screaming. But the crowd in Japan was different. The city had become known as Jikookland; the one place in the world where their unique union was respected more than any other. The people of Japan treated them differently. They held them in very high regard; acting as a sea full of bonafide Jikookers. It was one of the reasons that Jeongguk had insisted they visit one last time before entering the military. It was their last chance to be amongst the people of Japan; the country that loved them so much. 

“We love you Jikook, we love you Jikook,” the crowd screamed. 

Jeongguk leaned into Jimin, “They’re calling us by our ship name…they’ve always known, haven’t they?” He said thoughtfully. He lifted an arm to wave out of deep appreciation for them. 

“Always,” Jimin replied. 

Jimin was feeling emotional from the reaction of the crowd. He made eye contact with as many of the fans as possible as they welcomed them as if welcoming a couple from their honeymoon. Without thinking, he reached out to touch his lover who walked beside him. He didn’t mean to hold Jeongguk’s hand, it just happened. 

Jeongguk didn’t reject him even though he knew in his gut that the two of them holding hands would make the news because every media outlet in Japan seemed to be in the crowd, capturing video. But he just didn’t have the heart to break away. Besides, keeping their relationship guarded and innocuous was supposed to be Jimin’s job.

It made them feel good to hear the crowd call them Jikook. It was satisfying for both of them, especially Jimin. Jikookers were Jimin’s favorite part of the fandom because of how deeply they supported Jimin and Jeongguk’s bond, even though they had never validated the romantic connection.

Being in Japan made them feel free; like they didn’t have to hide anything from the people who understood them so well. To both Jimin and Jeongguk it felt as if the entire country of Japan had been in on the secret from the very beginning; from the first moment the two landed in Tokyo in 2017. 

From that very moment, the city embraced them, keeping their confidence, not divulging a word about what they had witnessed. And the people of Japan had witnessed a lot during that time because it was the first time that Jimin and Jeongguk had traveled as a couple. They were seen kissing in the bakery, holding hands during the long walk through Disneyland, embracing to watch the fireworks and buying matching rings to celebrate their official status as boyfriends. Every single moment Jimin and Jeongguk spent together during their 2017 trip shouted the truth about their relationship, making it very clear that they were long past the friend stage. 

And the fans embraced it all. It seemed as if the people of Japan instinctively knew that the couple was in love even before they did. Tokyo was magic. And being there again gave them the chance to make more lasting memories that they would carry forever.

Mr. Lee led them through a detour that emptied onto a side entrance where their black SUV was waiting. But - there was no driver. 

“Damnit! Where’s the driver?” Mr. Lee was not pleased. He did a quick walk around the vehicle, assuming that the driver was someplace nearby - but he wasn’t. 

Jimin and Jeongguk stood patiently waiting by the car. The longer they were exposed, the greater the chance of fans gathering around them. It was a dangerous situation, one they had never encountered before. They needed to get out of there. Mr. Lee gestured for Jimin and Jeongguk to climb into the car while he called headquarters to figure out where the driver had disappeared to. Mr. Lee paced up and down the sidewalk, fussing at the person on the other line as Jimin and Jeongguk continued to wait..

Jimin looked around, gathering his surroundings. He stopped; his expression was reflective, as if he had just seen a ghost. 

“What? What is it? Something wrong?” Jeongguk asked? Protectively he stood in front of Jimin, worried that some of the fans had found them.

“You kissed me. Right here in this very spot, you kissed me. It was October 29th, 2017. Do you remember?”

“I sure do. I totally went for it. My proudest moment,” Jeongguk laughed. “But what made you think of that right now?”

“Jeongguk this place is so special. The memories are everywhere, popping through my mind like firecrackers.” 

“I remember when your dad and my brother drove us to the airport. They knew Jimin. They knew that we were falling in love and they knew that nothing would ever be the same when we returned from that trip. Yet, they supported us anyway.”

“Our family has always been there. Even our dads have become best friends. Karma loves us,” Jimin nodded.

Jeongguk agreed. He thought back to that special day and how grateful he was for their parent’s acceptance of the relationship. “I know this trip isn’t exactly the same because I have to work for a few hours. But our Tokyo stay is going to be mostly private after the production wraps tomorrow. We’ll have one day alone where we can walk down memory lane and reminisce about the moment when we fell in love. No camera crew, no staff, just me and you.”

“I saw chatter online about fans asking why I came to Tokyo with you when I have no schedule. So many tried to justify it by saying that I must have had to work too. If they only knew…,” Jimin giggled. 

“We’ll make a stop by the Chanel store to make it look as if you had some official business,” Jeongguk remarked. 

The air was cool and brisk, frigid enough for both of them to shiver as they waited for Mr. Lee to return. Jeongguk stepped closer to Jimin, longing to kiss him. Watching Jimin get lost in a state of nostalgia was so endearing that Jeongguk just wanted to touch him, hold him. 

“You look…beautiful. Your blonde hair always makes me horny,” Jeongguk ran his sweater paw through Jimin’s neck length tresses that gathered below his hat.

“I know.” Jimin blew on his frozen fingers. He stood closer to Jeongguk to steal his body heat, “You love it so much that you almost fucked me in a storage room. Shit, it’s cold. Get inside.” 

The mystery of their missing driver continued to be a mystery. Wherever the driver had strayed off to, he couldn’t be too far away. Mercifully the door was unlocked.  Jeongguk opened the door and pulled Jimin into the SUV. From the backseat, they watched the puffs of chilled breath float from Mr. Lee’s mouth as he yelled at someone on the phone.  

“Sejin would go ballistic if he knew about this,” Jimin remarked. “Where is this damn driver? He is going to get so fired when Sejin finds out.”

Jeongguk laughed, “Yep. Poor guy. Probably just had to pee or something.” As patient as Jeongguk was, he was growing tired of waiting. He had other things on his mind. “I need you to know that it is incredibly difficult for me to keep my hands off of you right now. I’m showing the restraint of a Priest.”

“I couldn’t even run to hug you when I saw you walking through the gate. I’ve missed you so much.” Jimin said with a surprising degree of frustration.  

“I want to have just a few hours alone before my schedule begins.”

“What time does your video shoot for Hate You begin tomorrow?”  

“Five in the morning. We only have one day to get all of the footage we need before you and I leave for Sapporo. It’s going to be partially animated, but they still need shots of me. We’re filming right there in the hotel.”

“So the video crew is already here?”

“Not all of them, but most. We’re going to be surrounded by video staff in just a few hours.”

Jimin continued to watch Mr. Lee through the window, “But we’re alone…right now,” he said cryptically.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean…we need to take advantage of every moment that we have to ourselves, starting now. The keys to this car are right there on the dashboard. We know how to get to the hotel. Why do we need an escort when we have the sexy Jeon Jeongguk, International Driver, at our disposal?”

Jeongguk began to laugh, “I love the way your brain works.”

Mr. Lee had his back to the car. He was still yapping away at someone on the other line. Jeongguk and Jimin took the chance to jump into the front seat. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Jimin said quickly as he pulled his seatbelt over his chest.

“What about our luggage?”

“Trust me, Mr. Lee will make sure that it arrives,” Jimin explained.

They both snickered as Jeongguk started the car. Jimin immediately fiddled with the heat. The growl of the engine caused Mr. Lee to turn around. He expected to see their assigned driver at the wheel, but instead he saw… “Jeongguk!”

Jimin rolled down the window as Jeongguk pulled away from the curb, “Don’t worry about us. We know our way to the hotel. Byeeeeee!”

There was a slight slipping and skidding of the tires as Jeongguk hit the gas. Mr. Lee had no time to say anything. Before he could even process what had happened, they were gone.

 

Jeongguk could drive anywhere, any country, on any side of the road. He was especially adept at driving in Japan. Leaving the rest of their crew behind and driving the one hour route to the hotel was their best idea. After not seeing each other since Jeongguk’s release party, the time alone was important.

The drive was full of their excited conversation. They had so much to share about their individual work experiences; things that just couldn’t be conveyed over phone or via text. With both of their albums still climbing up the charts, they ironically shared the intimate details of two parallel solo careers. After ten years in the same band, it was strange to find themselves in friendly competition. As they spoke about their awards, they shared a strong sense of pride in each other. There was no jealousy or awkwardness, just a natural conversation anchored by love.

Part of the curse of being in love was that every substantial moment needed to be shared. The flush of skin, the gentle smiles, the flashing of eyes with encouraging glances, the rubbing of soft fingertips; it was all part of the journey of two lovers who bared their souls along the tight winding roads of Tokyo.  

Jeongguk had settled into his promotions and with the exception of two more videos to film and the closing of his documentary, he was almost done with his hectic work schedule. Jimin was on the tail end of his new promotion as well.  He carefully recounted every single moment of how he had spent his time while he and Jeongguk were apart. But there was something more that Jimin needed to tell Jeongguk and he didn’t exactly know how to start the conversation. 

“I have a confession to make,” Jimin blurted out. “But hear me out and let me explain.”

“Confession? Oh Jimin, I don’t like the way this sounds. What happened?” Jeongguk braced himself for the worst. With the two of them spending so much time apart, he felt somewhat insecure about all of the other men that Jimin was spending time with. He wondered if that was what Jimin needed to confess about. 

“My new song WHO,  it’s not gender neutral. It’s the only song on the album I didn’t write.”

Jeongguk blew a relieved breath, “Is that what you needed to confess? I already know that. I heard it months ago, remember?”

“That’s not all…,”

Jeongguk interrupted, “I hope you don’t think that bothers me. I mean Jimin, I had a girl in my video and I sang to her for three whole minutes about fucking her seven days a week. If that didn’t bother you, then you singing about looking for your dream girl isn’t going to cause me any heartburn,” Jeongguk laughed.

“No…no you don’t understand. Just let me tell you what happened.”

“Ok…,”

“We worked through the concept of the video and even though we had several female dancers from my crew working lead with me, the song suggests that I don’t really have anyone in particular. I know it’s just a song, but the way I’ve been feeling about you lately, it was really hard to keep saying that over and over. But I dealt with it and moved on. Until…the shooting of the video when the director decided to drop a photo of a woman at a pivotal scene.”

“A woman? Really? Who?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, it kind of does.” Jeongguk refused to allow Jimin to gloss over that part, “Is it one of the women you’re rumored to be sleeping with?” Jeongguk asked cautiously.

“Yeah…but Jeonggukie…I - I objected to that decision. The plan was to do some post production digital editing to add a face. In fact, I went directly to the technical director and told them that I would not allow them to drop some random woman’s face in the middle of my video. It just felt hurtful. I didn’t want you to see that. We’ve been apart for so long and I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

“It’s just a video. It’s work. I’m not insecure,” Secretly Jeongguk was relieved that Jimin had put his foot down and insisted that they not use a woman’s face in his video. Even though it was at great risk to his project. 

“The director didn’t agree. They felt that the scene was critically important to the overall video so…I couldn’t exclude it. We had to insert an image there or the entire video would be scrapped.”

“So what did you do?”

“Don’t be angry.”

“Why would I get angry over…oh JIMIN YOU DIDN’T?”

“I did. Remember that close up pic from your first CK shoot. The one that focuses on your big beautiful eyes? Well, I used that photo.”

“Jimin you didn’t! You have to change that. You have to remove it. There is no hetero explanation that you could give to explain why you used my image in a video where you’re searching for your true love. This is the equivalent to a blanket admission. This is exactly the kind of stuff that Joonie asked us not to do.”

“I can’t remove it. It’s too late.”

“Did this get back to management? Did they actually allow you to do this?”

“I’m Park Jimin. Me, you and our five brothers built that company. They can’t override my creative decision. Besides, it’s too late. The video has been cut and edited. It premiers in a few weeks. It’s just a quick shot of your eyes. Only a few people will be able to figure out it’s you.”

“Are you delusional? Everyone will know it’s me. Do you not understand how obsessed our fans are with our every move? They even know which side my dick hangs on. Trust me, they will know that’s my face.” Jeongguk couldn’t believe that Jimin had taken such a risk.

He pressed his foot hard against the gas. Hearing about Jimin’s stunt made him nervous, and he drove too fast whenever he was nervous. “You’re the one who says we always have to be careful. You’re the one who begged me not to tell anyone. You’re the one who said this had to be a secret forever. You’re the one. YOU! And now you go and do this? We’re about to enter the fucking military in three weeks. I cannot be the ONE YOUR HEART’S WAITING FOR!” Jeongguk raised his voice.

“One of the benefits of doing this show was to increase our chances of being chosen for the buddy system. The entire world gets a front row seat to our relationship and how close we are. Me flashing your face in my video just feeds into the narrative. As far as everyone else is concerned, we’re just best friends. No one, other than those rabid Jikookers, are even going to think twice about it.”

“I don’t care if you have a female lead in a video. I had one,” Jeongguk stated one more time for the record to make sure that Jimin understood that he wasn’t jealous.

“Ok, more confession time,” Jimin lowered his head.

“Now what?” Jeongguk took his eyes off of the road and glared at Jimin briefly.

“I hated Han So-Hee and Pasha Rulia being your videos. I hated seeing you with a female lead.”

“Jimin, you’re being ridiculous.”

“I know it. I absolutely know it. I know they mean nothing to you. I know that it was just work. But I wanted to smack both of them. See, this is exactly what I knew would happen when we started sleeping together. I am so irrationally jealous.”

“JEALOUS? You’re the Park Jimin. Do you know how many women would be jealous of me if they knew that I was fucking you?”

Jimin laughed. “I know. It’s selfish but I want you all to myself. It’s another reason that it was so hard for me to see you go. A small part of me worried that you might actually see something in one of those women.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? We could have talked about it. And why would you be jealous of anyone?”

 “It’s irrational. I’ve never felt this way before - NEVER. It’s all because of the sex. It’s hard to explain…you see…when people look at me, they accept me as genderless and fluid. If they were to find out that I was gay, I don’t think it would surprise anyone. But you…you are the sexy tough guy. The tattooed college fuckboy that every girl wants. When you have a female lead in your video, it sends a different message. It’s like…validating your heterosexuality. It’s not fair to you but it’s the image you have. At least that’s the narrative that’s always pushed by fans. I’m already having a hard time with keeping our secret, but sleeping with you just makes me feel so possessive and yes…jealous.”

“Dick is all yours bro,” Jeongguk teased. “I’m gay too…so there’s that.”

Jimin slapped him on the arm, “I know that! But I’m so into you that I can’t even stand the idea of someone fantasizing about you.”

“You’ve always been possessive. Let’s just be honest. From day one, you claimed me. Don’t blame it on the sex.”

“Ok…well the sex made it more intense,” Jimin added.

“You’re my first and my last. So calm down. No girly is ever going to take what belongs to you.”

“Anyway, having that girl’s face drop in my video just…didn’t sit right with me. I put my heart and soul into writing that album. I was very careful to use neutral pronouns. The one song that mentions a woman could have derailed the entire statement that I was trying to make. I know that I can’t come right out and say how I feel, but giving small hints…keeps me sane. I know what this relationship is and I know what we can and can’t do. I know that I have given you a hard time about keeping everything secret. It was important to make this small statement,” Jimin said concretely.

Jeongguk wasn’t upset, but he was confused. They drove for another ten minutes in absolute silence as Jeongguk pondered how the fandom would react to his face being in Jimin’s solo project. What would the other members say? Jimin had promised Namjoon that they weren’t soft launching, yet they were acting bolder and bolder by the day.

It was too quiet, so Jimin tried again to reassure Jeongguk that it was ok. “Everyone loved it when we did the duet for Letter. They’ll love this too. If anyone addresses it directly, we’ll just deny everything,” Jimin tried to help Jeongguk reconcile his feelings. “There are ten-thousand different people those eyes could belong to. Don’t worry, ok? I’m sorry I didn’t discuss it with you first, but you were traveling and so busy. The decision had to be made quickly. Please forgive me.”

Jeongguk suddenly beamed, “Am I really the one your heart is waiting for?”

“Yes. You’re my WHO. It was a statement, not a question. That’s why the flashing of your face was so aptly timed. You’re exactly what my heart has been waiting for. You’ve filled it for seven years.”

Jeongguk glanced over at Jimin. He looked so small and innocent sitting in the passenger’s seat beside him. There was no way he could be angry with him. In fact, he had never been more honored in his life. 

Jeongguk lifted Jimin’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of Jimin’s knuckles, “I could never be angry with you.”

***

Somehow, by the time they made it to the hotel, Mr. Lee and all of their luggage was already there waiting for them in the lobby. Neither of them bothered to ask how he had gotten there so quickly. They summed it up to something they called Lee magic. 

He led them up to their room inside of the Remm Hotel. As homage to their first trip in 2017, they decided to stay in the same place. This time they rented the suites on the top floor.

Even though their trip to Tokyo was confidential, and they had not revealed their accommodations, several bodyguards were posted on their floor as a precaution. No matter how private they tried to be, the fans always found them. 

 

Jimin emerged from the shower to find Jeongguk standing on the balcony in his pajamas. He was staring out over the lights of Tokyo, shivering in the cold. A large camera was in his hand and he appeared to also be filming. Jimin crept up quietly behind him.

“What’s with the camera? I thought we…,” upon closer inspection, Jimin realized that it wasn’t a company camera, it was Jeongguk’s own personal equipment.

“Filming a little B-roll.”

Jimin’s faced immediately flashed into a smile, “B-roll…as in GCF?”

“GCF Tokyo, part two. Smile,” Jeongguk said as he swung the camera in Jimin’s direction.

“You’re making another one? Just after our sixth year anniversary. Oh Koo Koo, how sentimental.”

“Our love is different now than it was back then. Much more intense, much more beautiful. I can’t let this moment pass without capturing the new us. How we are today.”

“My God that’s romantic. You’re so easy to love.” Jimin posed for the camera and did his signature silly move so that Jeongguk could capture it on film.

“But as lovely as this is, can you film B-roll tomorrow? I don’t want you to catch a cold. Come inside. It’s freezing out here.” Jimin grabbed his hand.

“In a minute. Don’t you just love it here?”

“I do. Other than home, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.”

“Do you think…when it’s all over…we can live here? Together?”

“And leave Korea?” Jimin questioned.

Jeongguk laughed sarcastically, “By the time Korea finds out who we really are, I doubt they’ll want us around anymore. When the world finds out we’re dating, we’re going to be shunned. So many people will feel betrayed and led astray”

“Don’t say that. Times are changing and queer people are taking a stand. I don’t know what the future holds for gays in Korea, but we have to live our truth. We can be part of the movement too - when it’s our time.” Jimin hated that phrase but it was the reality. The success of their reveal was all about the right timing.

Jeongguk pulled Jimin into a hug, forcing him to stand on the chilly balcony with him. They peered up at the stars, “Is there a chance that it may never be our time?”

“That’s up to us I suppose. At some point, we’ll need to put ourselves first and not everyone else,” Jimin said wisely.

“I just hope that we can survive that long. I’m worried about military service and how we’ll keep our true feelings hidden.”

“We’ve had years of practice. I’m sure we’ll be fine. We’ll help each other.”

“You make everything sound so simple. It’s not that simple, Jimin. It’s not. I’ve seen video of myself. Staring at you as if you hung the moon. Never even realizing how obvious I was being. I don’t have control of my feelings when it comes to you. I don’t have control over my reactions.”

“Yes, you do. You’re much more controlled than you think. Koo Koo, half the fandom thinks you hate me and you’re in love with Tae. Even though you’re up my ass regularly giving me orgasms, they think you’re dating someone else. I call that pretty convincing acting. Sometimes you slip, we both do. But it’s not enough to give us away…not while so much is at stake in the military. We have to be strong. That’s all there is to it.”

Jeongguk countered, “And what about sex? Under those warm summer nights in the forest, when we’re patrolling under the stars and your beautiful skin is glowing in the moonlight…how am I supposed to keep my hands off of you?”

“I’m sure that my buzzed head won’t be sexy,” Jimin laughed.

“Everything about you is sexy. Everything.” Jeongguk admired Jimin’s blonde hair. He ran his fingers through it, frizzing it at the top.

Jimin didn’t have an answer for him. He understood Jeongguk’s concern. It was one of the reasons he was suffering depression over their enlistment. They both wondered openly if serving together was a good idea.  Of course they would try to hide their relationship behind a wall of just being “buddies” but could they really pull it off? It was an unknown variable in their otherwise carefully derived plan. But joining as buddies was their only choice because being apart for 18 months would be akin to death. They just didn’t have the heart to separate again, not now, not ever.

“Come inside.” Jimin pulled Jeongguk hard by the hand and swiftly closed the door to the balcony. “You need rest. It’s almost eleven. You have to be up and ready for make-up and hair by 4:30am.”

“We promised Namjoon we would tone it down. So are we sharing separate beds when we get to Sapporo?”

Jimin grinned, “Yes. I’ve already requested that we be given two bedrooms or two separate beds. That brings me to another point. With so much scrutiny about the last filming being in overly gay-friendly Sapporo, we have to be extra careful. What I’m trying to say is…when we get there, we can’t have sex.”

“What the fuck? Really? Not even once?”

“Not saying we can’t find off-camera ways to fool around. But I think a fully fledged up-the-ass session is out of the question. But on camera, we have to look platonic, overcompensate for the fact that we’re in such a special place. Jimin climbed onto Jeongguk’s lap and straddled him.

“So this is our only time to cuddle while we’re in Japan?”

“And by cuddle you mean…?”

“Fuck until we see stars,” Jeongguk clarified.

“Well it is our anniversary month. That’s the best time of all to uh…cuddle,” Jimin suggested.

Jeongguk pulled Jimin to the bed. With the softest touch of his lips, he kissed the strong angular jawbone of the elder’s chin. Gradually he slid his wet tongue up to his mouth. There he planted several soft kisses in succession, barely allowing Jimin to breathe. “I think I want to…cuddle…right now. Can you take me? How’s your body feeling?” He asked with great concern.

Jimin could feel Jeongguk’s hands roaming inside the rear of his pajama pants. He released a heavy sigh when he felt two of Jeongguk’s long fingers push into him. 

“Oh…shit,” Jimin gasped. He squirmed as his body adjusted to the intrusion.

“Oh my baby likes that?” The younger one questioned.

“Yeah, yeah I-I…do.” Jimin closed his eyes, rotating his hips in time with Jeongguk’s finger massage. Their warm thighs stuck together as Jimin grinded in his lap.

Without disturbing Jimin’s moment, Jeongguk reached over to his toiletry bag on the nightstand and pulled out their favorite lube. “One second, let me take care of you,” he smirked as he rubbed the lube all over his fingers. With much more force than necessary, he pulled Jimin’s pajama pants off and threw them across the bed, leaving Jimin straddling him naked in his lap. “Wrap your arms around me. Hold on tight, don’t let go.” Jeongguk could feel his baby melting in his lap. 

With his left hand, he pushed a swath of hair from Jimin’s forehead, leaving the perfect canvas for kisses. Once again he assaulted Jimin’s ass with his long oily fingers. 

Amidst a flurry of satisfied moans, Jimin’s body went pliant. He draped over Jeongguk, holding onto him as he’d promised, but barely able to speak as his young boyfriend finger fucked him. 

“Is that good? Am I doing it right?” Jeongguk said innocently as he covered Jimin’s face with his thin lips. 

Jimin began to bounce gently, controlling the pace. He wasn’t interested in feeding Jeongguk’s ego by telling him how much he loved it. He was too focused on what was happening to his own body. His cock sprang upward between their two stomachs as he continued to fuck Jeongguk’s fingers. 

“You make me so happy,” Jimin whispered back as he playfully bit around the rim of his boyfriend’s ear.

“Take me.” the younger whispered into his neck.

Jimin continued to gyrate in his boyfriend’s lap with his legs bent and his naked chest pressed against Jeongguk’s bare one. His eyes closed and then opened, bringing into view the beautiful skyline of Tokyo. He stared over Jeongguk’s shoulder through the balcony window, eyes wandering over the landscape. He was almost blinded by the brilliant moon. The bustling city sparkled just beneath the spot where the moon hung causing his eyes to flutter back and forth between the buildings. 

Several airplanes flew by quietly, strobe lights flashing on and off. He watched their silhouette as they flew before the moon. Frost gathered on the window, doubling his appreciation for the warmth emanating from the man he held in his arms. He felt invincible, boundlessly safe. 

Just as another airplane passed, Jimin felt pressure nudging against him. The skeletal fingers had been replaced with the endless surge of his boyfriend’s dick.  Jeongguk breached him gracefully, pushing oily slick down Jimin’s thigh. 

Suddenly Jimin’s vision lapsed. The view over Jeongguk’s shoulder grew blurry as he was pulled back into the moment. He bit down hard on Jeongguk’s shoulder as the cock ran through him, slipping and sliding. Throbs of heat beat inside of his groin, causing him to shiver. The movement of Jeongguk’s hips was rhythmic, pumping over and over through Jimin’s tight- rimmed tunnel. Yet the young one was incredibly gentle, reaching maximum penetration with almost no resistance. Jimin could feel the diurnal sensitivity that was at the root of Jeongguk’s character. It governed everything about him, including his fucking. Jimin adored his delicate love making - when he chose to share that side of himself. 

The position wasn’t giving Jeongguk what he needed. So he allowed his oily, wet cock to slip free while he twisted Jimin around and laid him on the bed, on his back. Once he had him secured, he entered him again, watching greedily as his cock surged through his hyung’s stomach. The stalwart pace of his gentle fucking resumed.

Jimin looked up at the dark image and broad shoulders that loomed over him. Without realizing it, he rolled his hips forward and whined for him.

“Harder. Harder baby, please?”

 He was ravenous for his boyfriend’s cock and couldn’t get enough of it. Eyes clenched shut, his body reeled from each powerful thrust. He didn’t want to cum first. He didn’t. For once he wanted to hang on until the very end, fully cognizant as he experienced Jeongguk’s pleasure. But the pools of heat burned like fiery coals, starting in his stomach, extending to his thighs and then puddling in his groin. His climax was just beneath the surface, pitching up every time he heard the loud clap of their bodies.

“Pull out,” he screamed, just in time to avert a very messy orgasm.

Jeongguk snickered, laughing into Jimin’s mouth as they kissed. “Yes, sir.” He backed his hips away, pulling his cock from the hot warmth of Jimin’s ass. He focused on a few passionate kisses. He understood perfectly well what Jimin wanted and why. “I’ll slow down.”

“It’s so good, so fucking good. I want to go all night, but it’s too good,” Jimin whined between kisses. 

“You’re so cute. Jiminie, I belong to you. You can cum now, and then again later. And then again after that and then again. I love you, I’ll give you anything you want.”

“I can’t live without you.”

“You don’t have to.” Jeongguk stared into Jimin’s eyes, watching his facial expression as he entered him again. 

Once again Jimin uttered, “It’s so fucking good.”  

He moved his head from side to side, bristling his hair along the cool sheets. Immediately his stomach clenched and his legs shook. His cock was trapped under Jeongguk’s body as the younger one laid on top of him pumping him full of cum. 

Jimin released one final moan before going quiet. The orgasm was so intense that it left him speechless. Simultaneously, Jeongguk released as well. Their bodies were learning each other, vibing and reacting like the Yin and Yang they were destined to be.

Both were tired. Before Jeongguk could withdraw, he fell asleep on Jimin’s chest. Jimin loved the feeling of Jeongguk’s once hard cock, growing soft inside of him. He lay there stroking Jeongguks’s hair and rubbing his back until he felt the younger’s sweet cock wilt away, leaving a velvety edge of his seed that leaked from Jimin’s body.  

In the quiet of the Tokyo night he grasped him even more firmly and whispered his powerful words, “I love you.”

***

Jeongguk’s head drooped into his chin as he nodded off to sleep in the stylist’s chair. Despite him sleeping, his stylist noona managed to trim his hair, curl it and finish his make-up. Even though Jimin had tried to convince him to sleep, their lovemaking severely cut into Jeongguk’s peaceful rest. Naps were needed just to keep upright.

Even though Jimin didn’t have to, he arose early that day to accompany Jeongguk to the shoot. He sat in the corner across the room, face buried in his phone. It was amusing to him to watch as the stylists transformed Jeongguk from Jimin’s sweet and delicate baby bun into JK, the chart topping solo artist with the voice of honey. Jeongguk was many things to many people, but to Jimin, he was his everything. Jimin remained in the background, behind the staff, ever respectful of his boyfriend’s work. 

Footage of Jeongguk overlooking the skyline of Tokyo was scheduled as the first shoot of the day.  The hotel room just above theirs had been booked for the mv shoot, making it convenient for everyone. The shoot began right on time because the rising of the sun dictated how quickly they needed to move. The music began. 

And then they moved on to what would be the opening scene of Jeongguk sitting on the bed in the hotel room. He acted the part perfectly, appearing sufficiently broken-hearted over a failed love affair. Jimin could sense that Jeongguk was thinking through the desperation of a break up and leveraging the misery to act out the role. It seemed that both of them harbored the same fear, losing each other.

The elder brimmed with pride. His boyfriend was so handsome and a great actor too. Hate You was Jimin’s favorite song on the album, not just because of the lyrics, but because of the way Jeongguk delivered it. His vocals were pure, his pronunciation was impeccable. There was true emotion in every line. Jimin very much appreciated the artistry of it all. The song was played over and over for different shots and different scenes. And it was that repetitive nature that slowly transitioned Jimin’s mood.

The cryptically sad lyrics began to burrow into Jimin’s brain. He was already feeling emotionally vulnerable because of everything going on. Watching the love of his life depict such a horrifically sad end to a relationship that seemed perfect, struck a nerve with Jimin. Jeongguk didn’t write the song, the lyrics had nothing to do with their real life love affair, yet every word stung with realism - like  a predicted end to a perfect beginning. 

Less than two hours into the filming, Jimin concluded that he had made a mistake by being there. Tears began to stream down his face, forcing him to realize his fears. His fears couldn’t be pin-pointed because there were so many of them, but paramount amongst them was the unknown of how their lives would be changed with enlistment. What would the future of BTS be after their solo careers? Would everyone feel the same about reconvening after serving apart for two years? They had made a promise to always stay together, but would they? So many times they had come so close to breaking up the group. Would those old desires for freedom resurface for the members? And what about the fandom that had suffered so much during solo era? Could the fractured fandom be healed? 

And then his mind shifted to the fear that gripped him the most - would he and Jeongguk eventually be forced apart? Tolerance for their trist was already in limited supply. At what point would the company or the members force them to end it?  Could their fairytale love affair really stand the test of time? Could there come a day when Jeongguk sang those lyrics to him, about him? Would a day come where Jeongguk actually hated him? 

Jimin found himself trembling, overcome by sadness and anxiety. He couldn’t stand another second of listening. Without making a sound, he slid towards the door and rushed out. He raced down the hall, anxious to get away from the echo of the music. He needed a moment to compose himself and talk himself off of the ledge of emotional despair.  Too many thoughts in his head made everything seem worse than it actually was.

He stopped at the end of the hallway and sat on the floor. He could still hear the booming of the speakers as the filming continued. He sat there with his head down, arms wrapped around his knees. Since when had he become the emotional one? That designation was owned by Jeongguk. Jimin was always the rock, the therapist, the one who fixed the world’s problems. Never had he been the one who crumbled under the world’s problems. But the transition he was undergoing was life changing; there was no playbook on how to handle it.

The music stopped but Jimin barely noticed. He was too pensive in his thoughts. Out of nowhere he felt a light finger-brushing of his hair. He looked up. Of course it was Jeongguk. Of course it was. 

“I saw you run away. Thought I would come and check on you,” Jeongguk said sweetly as he slid to the ground next to Jimin.

“You’re supposed to be working. I’m fine. Just needed some fresh air.”

“I told them I needed to take a break. Jiminie, you know that song isn’t about you.”

“Of course it isn’t. I know that.” Jimin said defensively.

“Do you? Sure about that?” Jeongguk laughed a soft giggle.

Jimin wiped his nose on his sleeve and looked away. He didn’t want Jeongguk to know just how accurate he was with his assessment.

“Let’s go over some key facts that I think you need to consider. One. I can never hate you. Never. Souls that are destined to be together can never hate each other. It’s not how destiny works.”

“Here we go with the destiny talk again,” Jimin said facetiously. 

“Damn right. We are destined, Park Jimin, which means that all of the bullshit that is swirling around in your head right now, is just noise. Your worst case scenario will never happen. Do you realize how lucky we are to have our buddy enlistment approved? That was destiny. Do you know how lucky the seven of us were to be put together as a team? Destiny.”

“I’ll admit that I’m drowning in my own thoughts and it isn’t healthy.”

“Want me to take you downstairs and strip you naked? You can ride me like a bucking rodeo bull and work out all of your frustrations.”

“Yes. I want that very much,” Jimin laughed a loud giggling laugh, “but not right now because you have a video to film. Get out of here.”

“Video? Oh, I almost forgot about that,” Jeongguk teased. He popped up and then pulled Jimin to his feet. “A few more hours and I’ll be all yours. We’re going to the city to eat and see a movie and have a great time in Tokyo. Then, I’m taking you to the snow. We’re going to do all of the things and then cuddle in our cozy cabin and make love. In the meantime, here take this,” Jeongguk reached into his pocket and gave Jimin his credit card. “Go shopping. My treat. I’m rich, I can do these things.”

“You’re going to take every single receipt and expense it back to the company, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am. How else will I continue to stay rich?” Jeongguk laughed. He gave Jimin an innocent kiss on the cheek and then jogged back to the room to continue filming. 

And just like that Jimin felt whole again. His boyfriend’s overly simplified version of their reality was the one that Jimin chose to embrace. He smiled at the black matte credit card in his hand. Maybe shopping was a good idea. 

***

Jeongguk meant every word. As soon as the shoot was over, he and Jimin went on a date. Camera in tow, he filmed every second of their time roaming around Tokyo. Jimin blushed behind the camera, looking as resplendent as a human being could appear. Jeongguk attempted to recreate almost every one of their famous pics from 2017. They went to the same restaurants, walked the same path and kissed the same kisses. They also made love, something they never dared to do back in 2017 when they first became official.

The two private days in Tokyo remained a mystery to the fandom. With the exception of a couple of pictures that Jimin posted, no one knew the full reasoning behind their trip because nothing done in Tokyo was ever made public.

As they rushed through the airport, destined for their flight to Sapporo, Jimin spoke casually, despite the heard of screaming fans, “I think you got some really great footage. Are you going to release this as GCFT part II?”

“No. This is our private diary. Our celebration of seven wonderful years. For now anyway, I want to keep it just between us. The travel show is our gift for the fans, but the GCFT part II, is ours,”  Jeongguk advised.

Once we land in Sapporo, we’ll be on camera again. We’re going to have to find a way to not look like a couple in love,” Jimin advised.

“That’s pretty much impossible, but we’ll do our best,” Jeongguk grimaced.

***

November 25th, 2023 - Sapporo Japan

They landed in Sapporo amidst freezing temperatures and heavy fog. The entire city was covered in snow, a fact that made Jimin smile immensely. 

Each of them had their own personal hand held cameras in their hands. 

Jeongguk turned the camera towards Jimin as Jimin looked through the window, “Jeonggukie?”

“Yea?”

“It’s snowing. It must be cold, there’s ice all over the ground.”

“A very special gift for us.”

Jeongguk turned his camera on himself and gave an episode stamp, “Season 3 of  Are You Sure is now beginning. Let’s GO!”

 

The film crew met them on the ground. Unlike their disaster in Tokyo, the SUV and driver were waiting for them near the tarmac. Cameras were immediately jammed into their faces. Their time in Tokyo was fairly isolated and reclusive compared to the flurry of directors, managers, producers and set designers who ushered them to their accommodations.

Just after climbing into the SUV, Jimin raised the partition between them and the driver to give them some privacy. The only cameras in the SUV were the two handheld cameras that they controlled. The other cameras and the rest of the film crew traveled behind them in another car. 

For the first time in several hours, they were alone. Jimin unabashedly climbed into Jeongguk’s lap and commenced nibbling on his ear. A full make-out session soon followed. The ride from the airport to their hotel accommodation was about an hour away. Time alone was going to be extremely limited so Jimin capitalized on the opportunity and sat in Jeongguk’s lap the entire time. They kissed, fondled and did all of the things expected of young couples in love. The scenery was just so idyllic, causing Jimin to feel completely vulnerable in Jeongguk’s arms. He just wanted to hold him for as long as possible. 

Unsure of why the two had suddenly raised the partition behind him, the driver announced broadly that they were approaching the hotel. He was a local operator who knew nothing about the two men he carried in the back of his Limo SUV. But he was experienced enough to speculate that when couples wanted privacy in the backseat, it was to fool around. He respected their situation and used the utmost discretion.

“We’re here,” he announced again. 

The partition came down and Jimin leaned forward towards him, “Thank you.” 

The driver could see Jimin wiping his lips in his rearview mirror. He presumed that the two young men had been- kissing. It was a bit shocking but he kept his opinions to himself.

Before jumping out of the car, the two decided to film a quick video to announce their arrival. They turned the camera on themselves and said a few disorganized words. They were so blissfully drunk on kisses and passionate hugs that neither of them realized that it wasn’t the best time to film an intro. 

“We have arrived. Sapporo!” They announced.

Jimin burst into laughter as soon as he played back the footage.

“Well,” he laughed, so much for not looking like a couple. Not only do we look married, we look freshly fucked and married. 

Jeongguk shrugged and gathered their luggage. He was in peak IDGAF mode. “At least you put on a mask to cover up your swollen lips where I had been biting you. That’s being kind of responsible, I guess.”

As they made their way inside, they noticed that there was hardly anyone there. Plenty of staff and hotel workers meandered through the hallways, but there were no other guests - at least not any that Jimin and Jeongguk could see. 

“Where is everyone? Feels like we’re the only ones staying here.”  Jimin found it odd that the entire hotel was empty.

“Don’t know. Do you have any more of those salty sausages in your bag?” Jeongguk settled in front of the coffee table and sorted through the snacks that they had brought with them from Tokyo.

“It’s so quiet. Do you think there are other guests here and they’re just sleeping?”

“Probably, it’s past 11pm. Why do you care? I love the quiet.”

“Yea, yea you’re right, the quiet is nice.” Jimin dropped the subject, even though something felt slightly off. 

 

The hotel was a five star resort. Definitely higher caliber than their accommodations in Jeju. The room was small, cozy and romantic with romantic being the key word. He had specifically requested a room with two beds, yet there was only one and it was covered in purple rose petals. Before turning the camera on the bedroom, he pushed the beds apart to create their own sleeping spaces. The small bit of quick thinking on his part had avoided another awkward sleeping arrangement - the kind that gave Namjoon so much angst.

“Strange. This setup isn’t what we requested,” Jimin continued to examine the room.

“Doesn’t matter. So listen, I have a surprise. Tomorrow, I’m taking you someplace that you’ll really love - a whisky distillery. It’s a museum and a distillery combined.”

“Huh?” Jimin wasn’t really listening. He continued to inspect the room and the over-the-top accommodations. 

There were candles everywhere with silk pajamas laid out on the bed. Every flat surface was covered in decadent flower bouquets. Even the bathroom was strange - all marble with a large heart-shaped tub sitting in the center of the room. There were custom Egyptian sheets, exotic bath salts and bottles of champagne. There were even packs of erotic designer underwear left in plain site for the cameras to see. And the most shocking thing of all was a cherry wood box full of name-brand lubricants, most specifically designed for gay sex. Jimin found it disconcerting that the room was fitted with such intimate details. He felt as if they had stepped into an alternate universe. He soon realized that they had accidentally been booked in a honeymoon suite. It was a major faux-pas that would be difficult to hide during filming. He sent a text to the head of the film crew and asked them if they could move the cameras around to avoid filming some of the freaky gifts that were littered throughout.

Someone was going to get written up for making such a glaring mistake. He decided to move on. They were only there for one night. He trusted that the editing would camouflage it. He piled as many of the naughty gifts as he could into the closet. It was the only way to keep them out of view. He tracked back and forth through the room to make sure he had not overlooked anything.

“Whiskey…your favorite,” Jeongguk repeated angrily. “Hello? Whisky?”

Jimin’s head snapped up, “Oh whiskey. Yes. That sounds incredible. You really know what I like, don’t you?”

“Ok, what’s going on? You ok?” Jeongguk noticed that Jimin seemed distracted. 

“Better than ever…,” Jimin placed his handheld camera on the table and then gave Jeongguk a small peck on the lips. “I can’t wait to have whisky.”

 

It was too late in the evening to find an open restaurant, so they resorted to their favorite activity, combing through the liquor store for late night snacks and cold beer. 

As they sorted through their convenience store haul,  Jimin repeatedly expressed his concerns over being booked in a honeymoon suite, while Jeongguk stole all of the kinky gifts and packed them in his luggage. After several hours of talking and playing around like proper bros, they finally showered and settled down for the evening. The silk pajamas were irresistible, so they both ended up wearing them to bed. 

Jimin prepared a couple bowls of ramen as they sat in front of the cameras and continued to talk. Fresh from filming the SGMB video, Jimin had his experience top of mind. So many kids on the set sent him soaring with the idea of having his own family. Once again it was something that he needed to share with Jeongguk as they bandied about the idea of settling down and having kids - together. 

It was coded conversation, safe for cameras, but each of them knew exactly what they were asking the other. Testing the temperature on the interest of kids revealed that they weren’t exactly on the same page. As where Jimin dreamed of being a girl-dad and the perils of raising a baby girl, Jeongguk didn’t even want to be an uncle. He was perfectly happy being a Bam-dad for the foreseeable future.

The conversation of kids had never explicitly come up before. With Jeongguk being two years Jimin’s junior and Jimin facing the scary age of thirty, it made sense that they were in different places. Neither of them took the matter seriously, but it was a good check point considering they found themselves falling deeper and deeper in love everyday.

***

 The following morning, they awoke to a dusting of snow falling across the city. Both of them rushed to the window, eyes bright like children on Christmas. Overtly aware that the cameras were rolling, they stood side by side, absorbing every detail of the frosted city. As Jimin’s arm fell to his side, he could feel a scintilla of a touch from Jeongguk’s fingers as they longingly caressed his hand. It was a moment in time, a freshly curated memory that they would store forever. And it happened within a fraction of a second. 

The kiss that didn’t follow would linger within their hearts as the one they needed the most.

It was time to get packed up, once again they were headed for a new exciting location. Getting to the whisky distillery required a journey, starting with a long drive and a train ride. And then ending with a freezing walk through the snow. 

They made their way through the train station, intermittently holding hands along the way. Cute little girls running behind their parents, struck up more conversation about Jimin wanting to one day be a father. Jeongguk took notice of how tightly Jimin held him throughout his entire plea for kids. A message was sent, one that Jeongguk found incredibly endearing. 

Another moment of vulnerability hit them as they cuddled on the train sharing a set of airpods, listening to another crippling love song that sent them both sinking into sadness. Jimin shed a few shallow tears as Jeongguk rested his head on his shoulder in a show of comfort. The fear of breaking up was very real. The fear of everything changing was also very real. The harsh reminder of the possibility fed into their worst nightmare. Yet somehow, the pain fortified them, reinforcing their commitment to each other.

After exiting the train station, Jeongguk drove them a short distance towards the Nikka Whisky Distillery Museum. Jeongguk suddenly made a request that threw Jimin for a surprise.

“The snow is so beautiful, Jiminie. Can we walk the rest of the way?”

“But it’s really cold.”

“But it’s really beautiful.”

Jimin looked at his young boyfriend. Saying no to his beautiful owl eyes was not an option. They parked several blocks from the Distillery and then set out on foot. He grabbed Jeongguk by the arm and together they headed into the snowy blast, “Sure, let’s go.”

After a freezing walk, filled with laughter, intimate conversation and snow fights, they finally arrived at the whisky distillery.  There was a crowd mulling outside but none of them seemed interested in going inside.

 Jimin rushed in quickly, anxious to escape the cold. Jeongguk lingered just a few moments later to take in the beauty of the landscape. Snow had a special place in their hearts and he wanted the memory to be solidly etched in his brain. They both shook the handfuls of snow from their clothes as the comforting heat warmed them. 

The smell of aged barrel wood and chestnut hit their noses immediately. It was a warm, cozy smell, much like the taste of whisky itself; in complete opposition to the icy tundra of the snow covered street from which they came. They happily scooted inside, anxious to sip the first taste of the fine liquor. They made their way over to the tasting room. There was a pot still and a tasting bar. The menu was full of decadent whiskies, some of which were decades old.  Jimin was the first to mull it over. 

“Good whisky will have depth to its smell with hints of different flavors. You can always tell the best whisky by smelling it first.”

Jimin selected their first two samples and Jeongguk ordered them. Jeongguk promptly introduced himself to his glass of whisky which caused Jimin to double over with laughter. Once again, they only had eyes for each other. Neither of them noticed that the place was completely empty with the two of them being the only visitors. On a day with so many people in the area, it was rare for the distillery to be empty. 

The two role-played, growing louder and more brash with each cup of whisky they drank. By glass number five, they were both nicely lit and having a great time.

Jeongguk slurred, “Reminds me of those jazz clubs where someone across the room buys you a drink.”

“Like this?” Jimin walked to the other end of the counter and then approached Jeongguk with a drink in his hand. 

“You’re kind of hot. Come here often?”

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Yes. This is for you, it’s already been paid for. Now get in my bed and let’s fuck,” Jimin giggled and fell over the bar.

“I don’t care if you’re a serial killer, you’re so fucking hot that I’m absolutely leaving with you. You look like a greedy power bottom. Let’s do this shit,” Jeongguk flirted back.

“You sure I’m the one?”

“You’re the only one,” Jeongguk reiterated.

Jeongguk’s words triggered a thought in Jimin’s head. Jeongguk was right, he was the only one. In fact, there was no one else in the building at all. As far as Jimin could see, it was just the employees who worked there. No other patrons at all. Once again it struck him as odd. Why were there no other people? It felt as if everything were purposely being set up to feel isolated, even romantic.

“Are we here alone?”

“I - I don’t know.” Jeongguk was tipsy. “I see two of you, does that count?”

Jimin fell against Jeongguk’s arm laughing. “Well I see three of you, so hell yeah, it counts.”

Jimin was too drunk to belabor the point, but he stored it away as another curious encounter where everyone seemed to disappear around them. 

***

It was time to move on to their next hotel. They had a three hour drive to Keio Plaza where they planned to stay. It was their last few days of vacation before returning home and reporting to training camp. 

Even though there were scores of people around, their car ride was restricted to just Sejin and the two of them. They used dashboard cameras to capture their conversations and quirky interactions. They tried to keep conversations interesting since they were filming, but they found that the show was most entertaining when the two decided to just be themselves. 

Jeongguk insisted that they stop for treats at the local 7-11 during their three-hour long car ride to the resort. Jimin was never a big eater, food was more for sustenance than enjoyment. However, being in love with a foodie meant that he was required to develop an appreciation for the fine details of culinary cuisine. Not only did his boyfriend love to eat, but he also loved to cook, contributing to the two inches that Jimin had grown in waistline. 

The only thing that Jeongguk enjoyed more than eating, was watching Jimin eat. So making stops in the middle of a snow storm in Sapporo Japan to fetch sausages and triangle Gimbap was part of their brand. Jimin especially loved the ones with tuna inside. From across the store, Jimin could hear Jeongguk yelp each time he found a new snack. After forty-five ridiculous minutes, Jimin finally had to pull him to the register to check out, otherwise he would have spent the rest of the evening filling his cart with snacks.

As they pulled away from the convenience stores, Jimin repeatedly played Hate You through the car speakers.

“The other day this song made you burst into tears. Now today you can’t stop playing it?”

“I love this song. I always have. I was just having a weak moment. But today, it feels empowering. You really made me appreciate how lucky we are to have each other,” Jimin glanced at the camera. It was recording. The conversation was somewhat private and he needed it to be edited out. So he said the words, “Edit out the previous conversation.” It was a definitive way to make sure the editors knew that something had slipped that shouldn’t be aired. 

 

They arrived at the resort later that evening. The scenery was straight from a postcard. The bedrooms were tight and cozy, but there was a hot and cold bath large enough for two. Once again, there was nothing friendly about the set up. And once again, the room was covered in roses, with bathing oils, champagne and heart shaped chocolates. Another box of sex lube was on the bed, and this one even had condoms inside. Jimin almost choked when he opened it.

Jeongguk, with a piece of sausage in his mouth, walked up behind him and fiddled with the gold foil wrapped condoms. “They clearly don’t know us. We like it deep and raw,” he teased.

Jimin’s eyes widened. He pressed his palm to Jeongguk’s mouth and shushed him while laughing hysterically. “Oh my God did you really just say that?”

“It’s true,” Jeongguk shrugged as he ate the last piece of his sausage. 

“Please edit out that previous conversation. Please,” Jimin closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Jeongguk’s chest. He continued to laugh. 

The mystery of the strange honeymoon suites was beginning to deepen. Most of the activities had been arranged by Jeongguk. But the details of the accommodations had been put together by staff. Everyone was under strict orders to keep all set ups roommate style which meant individual beds for both. Yet for the second consecutive night, they had been given a large single bed. Jimin was curious about who kept making the mistake. Nothing was a coincidence. 

“This place is so fucking exquisite. Right when we’re supposed to be entering our platonic era, they send us to the most intimate place in Japan. I can already feel my heart racing,” Jimin said as he placed his hand over his chest. “Help me separate the beds please. We can’t have yet another night where we’re filmed sleeping in the same bed.”

“Yea, I’ll pull this one if you grab that one.” The two pulled the single large bed into two separate singles and placed a nightstand between them, just as they had done the previous night. “It’s nice here. I feel like I could stay here forever. We’re going to make beautiful memories here Jiminie.. I don’t care if they’re romantic, platonic, band mates or whatever. What matters is that we’re together. Remember, you were my best friend before you were ever my lover.”

***

They both settled with Jimin opting to take a nap and Jeongguk opting to do something with his overgrown hair. As Jimin dozed off, Jeongguk headed for the bathroom with a pair of scissors. His bangs were too long and they were bothering him. He could have asked Jimin for help. He could have even found a stylist nearby. But nope, he decided to cut them himself…

Jimin awakened a couple of hours later. Jeongguk was sitting at the other end of the couch, sucking on a lollipop and texting on his phone. Jimin squinted. At first, he thought his eyes were just tired. He sat straight up and crawled over to Jeongguk. 

He was calm, non judgemental, “So uh…what happened here?”

“Happened? Oh this?” Jeongguk ran his fingers through his shortened hair, “I cut my bangs. They were getting on my nerves.”

“Ok. Ok…so now what?”

“Yea, so I cut them a little too short…shit happens.”

Jimin rubbed his forehead, “Jeon Jeongguk, you’re filming a video with one of my Idols in less than a week. You can’t arrive at the video shoot looking like Edna Mode from The Incredibles. We-we have to fix it.”

“I have a full make-up session and styling scheduled for the day I land in L.A. The stylist noonas will fix it. You worry too much.”

“I have another problem.”

“And what is that,” Jeongguk’s dimples indented his face as he laughed at Jimin’s distress.

“You look fifteen.”

“So? You like younger men,” Jeongguk teased.

“Not that young! I can’t fuck you when you look like you’re straight out of the Danger video. All we need is some thick eyeliner and little hairspray and you’re that kid!” Jimin said with angst. 

Jeongguk lowered his voice to its deepest register, “Nothing about my body is fifteen.”  Jeongguk slowly removed his shirt and stood partially nude in front of Jimin.

He continued, “And my dick isn’t fifteen either. It’s up to you to decide if you’re going to allow a silly haircut to come between you and the best full body fuck of your life.”

“Well when you put it that way…,” Jimin rolled over laughing.  And then he remembered, “Ah shit, we can’t fuck anyway, remember? We’re on probation.”

“Yea, fuck Joonie for cock blocking. I haven’t cum in two days,” Jeongguk complained. 

“You’re so fucking insatiable. I think it makes me love you even more,” Jimin whispered just beyond the microphones. “Anyway, this little haircut fiasco is going to make for great television. Did you record your unfortunate adventure?”

“I did. My every mis-step was caught on camera.”

“You know you could have asked me for help,” Jimin began to laugh. “You look so cute. Like an adorable kid. You really have been attractive from day one. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you the first time we met.”

“You were a cute kid too.” Jeongguk looked around to decipher which cameras were on. All of them were pointed directly at them which meant no kisses. “Stop wasting time. Our bath awaits.”

The baths were meant to be enjoyed nude. Even with the cameras off, however, they were hesitant to remove all of their clothes. Management and staff were in various rooms throughout the house and even though they knew to stay away while the two were having private time. It was still too risky to go completely nude. 

They stole a few kisses, said a few naughty words and climbed into the hot bath together. They felt silly for wearing so many clothes, but it was a Disney show and any little peek of a nut-sack or pubic hair would get the entire show thrown off of the network. And with Jeongguk barely able to control his erections whenever he was near a partially clothed Jimin, it was best for them to wear as many clothes as possible. 

As they soaked, they became reflective once again. Another deeply personal conversation was spawned.

 “Would you marry me?”

“Gay men can’t marry each other in Korea my love,” Jimin laid his head back on the rim of the tub. Steam crawled up his face and disappeared in his damp blonde tresses. He kept his eyes closed as he swam his fingers through the hot water.

Jeongguk sat on the other side of the bath, staring at him, contemplating each of his tattoos, gazing at his small dimples, admiring the leanness of his physique. He loved the man deeply. He really, really loved him. He returned to his question that had not received a satisfactory answer, “Would you marry me - if you could?” Jeongguk repeated his question.

“Is this a proposal?” Jimin smiled, flashing the dimples that Jeongguk found so alluring.

“No Jimin. It’s a very serious question. And I would appreciate an answer. I humored you and answered all of your baby daddy questions. The least you could do is humor me…about this.”

Jimin opened his eyes and sat up. He recognized Jeongguk’s tone and it was serious and he definitely needed to give him an answer. “I would marry you in a heartbeat. He scooted over closer to Jeongguk so that he could place his arm around him as he explained why. “Joonie said something to me, the night of your party. He said…they never intervened and tried to break us up because they figured that our fling would run its course and end on its own. To his surprise, seven years later we’re more in love than ever. He surmised that what we have is true love. A very rare but genuine love. Joonie, in his own words, said we were destined. Assuming this is not a proposal, my answer is yes. But if you are proposing and if you truly want to spend the rest of your life with me, then the answer is…YES. I love you bro…but not like a bro.” Jimin giggled. 

“This isn’t a proposal. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Besides, I expect  you to propose to me. And I want it all. Fireworks, drones, a bridge lighting, flowers, fighter jet fly over, champagne, whiskey, strippers…all of it.”

Jimin laughed so hard that he slid down into the water, causing some of it to go up his nose. “That’s a bit much. Can you explain where the strippers come in?”

“They could spell out ‘will you marry me’ with their dicks or something…I don’t know.” Jeongguk shrugged.

Jimin laughed again. “You really are the most interesting man alive. Ok, not agreeing on the need for strippers. How about a quiet evening alone, just the two of us, in a small cafe in Busan. I’ll get down on one knee, take her hand in mine, stare into your beautiful eyes and ask the question, and beg you to give me your soul.”

“Oh!” Jeongguk’s bottom lip trembled. Just the thought of it had him fighting back tears, “That sounds beautiful,” His eyes rounded, causing him to look even younger with his bowl cut.  

“Something is different about you Jiminie. You seem…calmer, more content…happier than you were in Tokyo.”

“Well there’s snow everywhere. Of course I’m happy.” Jimin burst into laughter over his own joke. He settled down and spoke truthfully, “Because of you. I’m happy because of you.  We enlist in less than three weeks and I’m here, spending my last days of freedom with you. I could have been with my family or other friends or other members, but I chose you because you make me the happiest. I listened to everything you said. I was overthinking everything instead of just letting go and taking each day as it comes. If there’s anything that I’ve learned from you, it’s to not be overly serious about everything.”

“Your concerns are valid and I understand you feeling overwhelmed at times. But at the end of the day, we can only pray that these eighteen months away will not change who we are as BTS. We are a united seven, we’ve got the tattoos to prove it. And you and I are a united couple, we’ve got the tattoos to prove it. Everything else is up to God really,” Jeongguk explained.

“I’m happy because I’m enjoying the moment. Even though we can’t come out of the closet and admit our truth, we’ve been able to confide in the people we love. And they have all accepted us with open arms. I don’t know what the rest of the world has planned, but for right now, I’m happy with what we have.” Jimin flashed a brilliant smile. His happiness was genuine. It was not just an act that he was putting on to keep Jeongguk from worrying. 

There was a knock on the door. It was Sejin, he had urgent news. He hated to disturb their private time but it couldn’t be helped. He entered quickly. To his relief, they were both fully dressed and no fucking appeared to be taking place, “Guys I have to fly back to Korea. My mom had some kind of emergency and she’s in the hospital. The doctor says she’s fine, but I’ll feel better if I’m by her side. I’m leaving Sunjae in charge. Mr. Lee will still cover security and most of the camera producers are here. You’ll be fine without me.”

“Oh God, I’m so sorry. I hope she’s ok. Go. Take care of your mom,” Jeongguk ordered. 

Jimin agreed, “Yes, we’ll be fine. Family first, please. And call us with an update.”

“I will.” Sejin looked worried despite his calm demeanor. He gathered a few of the extra cameras that weren’t being used and placed them on the counter. He had one more request before leaving. “Would you mind turning the cameras back on? It’s been off for over an hour and we want to get some of this footage before you both end up wrinkled old prunes.” He smiled.

“Oh. Got it. Sorry, we completely forgot.”

The private conversation was over and neither of them minded going back on camera. They were content, and even managed to keep their hands off of each other - mostly.

***

“Who put us in matching pajamas?” Jimin yelled as soon as he saw Jeongguk walk into the bathroom.

“Don’t blame

me. I didn’t do it,” Jeongguk shrugged as he brushed his teeth.

Jimin was agitated, “I promised Joonie that we would tone it down. This is NOT toned down. Lube every fucking place, condoms stashed on the bed, and now fucking matching pajamas. What the hell is going on here?”

“Stop whining. I didn’t do it. These were the pajamas that were there when I went to get dressed. And you can be as angry as you want, but we look damn cute.”

“Koo Koo you don’t understand. This is so blatantly screaming ‘couple’,” Jimn said in quotes “Namjoon is going to kill me. And we can’t edit it out because this is what they gave us to wear.”

“Talk to Sunjae tomorrow. I’m sure he knows what’s going on. In the meantime, take a few pictures because we’re oh my god, we’re adorable.”

“Jeongguk something isn’t right. You planned most of this trip, how did we end up at a couples only resort with matching pajamas? And why was no one else at the whisky distillery? Why do we keep going to the most romantic locations for dinner? This feels weird. It’s just not right. Like a fucking honeymoon or something,” Jimin was visibly upset.

“Nope, not a honeymoon, you didn’t propose yet. And there were no drones so…,” Jeongguk continued brushing his teeth.

“Something strange is going on here. It’s like we’re being set up.”

“Relax. So what if it looks like a honeymoon? It isn’t. It’s just two friends having a nice vacation before military service. Calm down, please. You’ve been so freaked out that you’ve hidden most of the really exculpatory evidence. Everything is fine. This is all just a coincidence. It’s probably slow-season and they gave us the best room available which happened to come with a few extras.”

Jimin was once again thankful for Jeongguk’s level head. “Ok. Ok, you’re right. I’m overreacting again.”

“Good. Glad we got that settled. Let’s go to dinner. The resort says they have something special planned right down the hall and we can wear our pajamas.”

“Down the hall? And that’s another thing. Where is everybody? Everyplace we’ve gone so far has been a ghost town. Is this the government’s way of trying to protect us as fans? The entire city of Sapporo is fucking empty. It’s weird right?”

“It’s wonderful. I’m going to tell you one more time, stop overthinking. This is a very rare chance to be alone, just you and me. It’s everything we ever wanted. So stop trying to ruin it,” Jeongguk teased. “Now let’s go to dinner. Then afterwards we can sneak into the closet and I’ll suck your dick. There are no cameras there.” Jeongguk licked his lips and gave Jimin a wink.

The promise of fellatio caused Jimin to lose his train of thought. He no longer worried about how romantic their accommodations were. His mind instantly refocused on getting sucked off in a closet.

***

“Hey baby, wake up.” Jimin gently rubbed the top of Jeongguk’s hair. “Why are you out here?”

“It was too hot in the room,” Jeongguk rolled over groggily to find Jimin standing over him.

“Why didn’t you tell me, I would have turned down the heat.”

“I didn’t want to disturb you…,” Jeongguk yawned. He shifted uncomfortably as he sat up. “Cameras on?” He asked with one eye open.

“Yes,” Jimin whispered. He knew Jeongguk had a very specific problem; one that shouldn’t be shown on camera. But they had no choice but to keep them running. He leaned down and whispered a simple question, “Are you hard?”

“As always,” Jeongguk nodded.

Jimin decided it was best to clear the room. It was likely his touch and the way that he had awakened Jeongguk that resulted in the morning wood. The sexual tension between them exploded on screen, even in their friendliest moments. He headed for the showers, leaving Jeongguk alone. 

Jeongguk sat up. He kept the comforter over him for a few moments to allow his body time to settle down. Once he thought he was clear, he jumped up to go into the kitchen, but that was a mistake. The more he waddled around the room, the more apparent his erection became. There was no hiding it. He knew that he couldn’t slip past the cameras, so his only option was to sit and wait. He was irritated that such a vulnerable moment was caught on camera. He was more irritated by how long it took to finally go away. 

 

In his mind he blamed Jimin because his body became so unpredictable whenever his boyfriend was around. He blamed him for being too sexy, too beautiful, too sensual and always smelling like fresh citrus and lavender. All of it was Jimin’s fault. 

Typically when he had a woody, Jimin would care for him by climbing on top of him and doing freaky shit that would cause Jeongguk to nut all over the place. But this situation had to be navigated carefully because their every move was being recorded by the Disney cameras. If only their individual cameras were on, they could have just switched them off. But as it were, he was stuck.

Jeongguk sat patiently on the edge of the sofa, eating bread, begging for his erection to subside. He dreaded the onset of blue balls, something that happened more and more frequently when he didn’t have a chance to release. He suddenly heard Jimin screaming from the shower. The screams seemed desperate. Jeongguk’s first impulse was to jump up and go see what all of the noise was about. But then he remembered that he couldn’t, not without showing the world that his long cock was protruding through his pajama pants. Jimin continued to scream, it seemed staged, as if the intention was to get Jeongguk to run to him. The longer Jeongguk sat without replying, the more frantic Jimin’s screams became. 

“What the hell?” He whispered as he looked around. He couldn’t sit there anymore while Jimin was screaming at the top of his lungs. He pulled his shirt down to cover as much of himself as he could and he raced towards the bathroom where Jimin was showering.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Jeongguk closed the door behind them. There were never any cameras allowed in the bathroom unless the two of them carried them in themselves. He was free to talk to Jimin openly without worrying about it being filmed.

Jimin was naked; his pair of black and white pajamas strewn across the floor. And his cock was hard with a blush on deep pink, as if he had been masturbating himself. As soon as Jeongguk entered he pounced on him. “What took you so long?”

“Why were you screaming?”

“Because I needed you right away.”

“Need me? For what?”

“We have work to do. You know I can’t let you suffer.”

Jeongguk’s face broadened into an evil grin. He loved his freaky boyfriend, “The camera saw me come in here.”

“We’ll edit it out,” Jimin said, not realizing that the scene depicting Jeongguk disappearing into the bathroom would be completely overlooked by editors during the final airing.

 

One hard snap and Jeongguk’s pajama top was thrown into the sink. His pants were pushed to his ankles. Jimin, with his powerful, petite body, slammed Jeongguk to the ground. He crawled on top of him, and straddled his head before pushing his cock down into Jeongguk’s mouth, forcing him to suck it. He leaned forward and began bucking his hips, stridently fucking the younger’s mouth.

“Suck me,” he moaned quietly.

 While keeping his cock stuffed into Jeongguk’s mouth, he stretched his body over the top of his lover’s torso until they were in a tight 69 formation. He found his boyfriend’s elongated dick and grabbed it firmly with his right hand. With one greedy gulp Jimin gobbled it up, filling his mouth with aroused flesh.

The two bodies tightened and shivered along the bathroom floor. With Jimin on top, Jeongguk on the bottom, they curved around each other in the perfect 69, perfect yin and yang and perfect balance of sexual power. The room filled with the sounds of sloppy sucking, drooling, moaning and gurgling. They mutually sucked each other, subtly competing over who could do it the best.

At one end, Jimin bucked his hips, pushing his leaky cock down Jeongguk’s throat. Simultaneously at the other end, he clenched his jaws tighter, swallowed harder, and pushed deeper all in an effort to slide Jeongguk’s cock as far down his throat as his reflex would allow. His mouth salivated, causing even more spit to drip between Jeongguk’s thighs. 

Jimin’s moans were muffled, slurred as he worked hard to get his baby off. He wanted them to cum together, but Jeongguk was sucking him so good, he feared that he would cum first. With his head down, trapped over Jeongguk’s crotch,  Jimin could feel his orgasm surge. At his greatest moment of weakness, Jeongguk gently pressed a finger into his ass. Jimin screamed with pleasure. His body pulsed as if an electrical shock were surging through him. His puddle of cream gathered in the back of Jeongguk’s throat as his tip exploded with cum. 

The feeling of Jimin pulsating in his mouth pushed Jeongguk over the edge. He was hit like a bolt of lightning with overwhelming pleasure that he couldn’t contain. In the brief moment that Jimin opened his mouth to release a satisfied scream, Jeongguk erupted, shooting a stream of cum into Jimin’s face, all over his lips and chin. He grabbed his cock and pumped it in his first, squeezing every ounce of his seed through this pulsating tip.

“FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!” Even with the door closed and the water running, the echo of Jeongguk’s screams registered in the sensitive microphones.

There, on the bathroom floor of their isolated resort in Japan, they released all of the tension that had built up since the Sapporo trip began. The two found themselves staring at the ceiling, collapsing in each other’s arms and laughing at their inability to keep their hands off of each other.  

“Well,” Jeongguk breathed, “at least we kept our promise not to fuck…,”

Jimin rolled over, full of laughter. He rested his head on Jeongguk’s chest as they continued to lay, hesitant to make a single move.

They lived in two different worlds; the world outside of the bathroom door where they shared every moment with millions of fans and where they pretended to have nothing more than a casual friendship between them. Versus the world on the inside where they were in love, physically enraptured and boyfriends. More and more they found that life on the inside made them ridiculously happy.  

***

The following morning, Jimin smiled as the two of them dressed together in the mirror. They took time working through their beauty routines and brushing their hair, “I’m taking you snowboarding. That’s the activity of the day. We even have gear.”

“Snowboarding! Oh Koo Koo, that is so exciting. It’ll be fun. You really took great care with planning this trip didn’t you?”

“I did, except…,”

“...except what?”

“I keep thinking about what you said about how romantic these locations are. Very different from Jeju and Connecticut. Did you have a chance to talk to the staff about why we’re suddenly booked to stay at these places?”

“No. I took your advice and decided to just enjoy it.”

“I’m driving us into the mountains where the ski resort is located. I like the idea of us having more time alone.”

Jimin stared into the mirror. He watched Jeongguk pull his hair back with his headband. He smiled each time the younger inadvertently flashed his dimples. He loved him very much at that moment. “You feel like my husband.”

“Nope. You didn’t propose yet. I’m looking for champagne and fireworks so…,” Jeongguk teased.

“You and the fireworks.”

“It better be a big fucking deal,” Jeongguk leaned in to apply sunscreen to his face. “And if you don’t do it right, I will absolutely say no. After all these years together, I deserve the very best your money can buy.”

Jimin stood next to him, admiring him, contemplating a day when he would actually ask him - to marry him.

***

 

They arrived at the Kokusai Ski Resort two hours later. The day was cool and brisk, about fifteen degrees lower than the temperature at the sea-level geography of Sapporo. Cameras continued to run, but they muted the sound so their conversation wouldn’t be recorded. They always appreciated when only the handheld cameras were used because those cameras were under their control and could be cut at any time. 

They were quickly fitted for gear and then sent on their way to the ski lift where they were carried to the top of the mountain. The two of them laughed and joked, while secretly holding hands just beneath the view of the single camera they operated. 

“Did you plan the black and white ski gear?” Jimin asked with a giggle.

“Of course I did. We’re never going to beat those black and white allegations if I have anything to do with it,” Jeongguk laughed. 

“I love it. We look like a married couple.”

“That’s the second or third time you’ve said that today. What’s with the husband-fever?”

“I think about it alot. I think about traveling together as husbands and performing on stage as husbands. All of it makes me so happy.”

“Proposal first bro…,”

“Fireworks, drones and strippers - I got it. I got it,” Jimin laughed. 

“This may be the most amazing trip I’ve ever had in my life. Thank you for insisting that we do this. We needed it, Jiminie. We needed this time.”

“This trip feels so different from Jeju. It feels like we’re filming a completely different show.” Jimin smiled.

 

They were surrounded by snow-covered mountains. The large evergreen trees rose to the sky, sprinkled with perfect bundles of snow. Even the ground was a stale white, so bright that it burned their eyes. The scene looked like a fictional postcard, but it was real. The sky was grey with distant blue and orange streaks as the sun settled far away like a small bright orb. 

As they flew over the top of the mountain in the ski lift, Jimin noticed something peculiar. 

“Jeonggukie?”

“Yea?”

“There aren’t any cars in the parking lot. In fact, now that I think about it, there was no one in the ski shop where we were fitted for our snowboards either. This is their peak season, right before the holidays. The place should be packed.”

Jeongguk gave Jimin’s observation some thought, “Let’s see, our staff is here. The ski resort staff and a few janitors. You’re right. There are no other customers. Where the hell is everyone?” Jeongguk scoured the ground beneath them. The entire place was empty, as if it were abandoned. All of the ski lifts in front of them and behind them were empty. “This is so strange.”

As soon as they touched down, they immediately questioned the camera crew about it. They found Jae Syung, a long time cameraman who had been with BTS since the beginning. “Hey Jae, where is everybody?” Jimin asked. 

“The resort is closed,” Jae said as he hoisted his heavy camera over his shoulder and aimed it towards the two of them. He was wearing skis and a camera harness, with the intention of skiing down the mountain behind the two of them to capture the footage. 

“Closed? What do you mean closed? I’ve seen videos of this place during this time of year, it’s usually packed. And if it’s closed, then why are we here?” Jeongguk looked around again. “This is this resort’s busiest time of the year, I know that for a fact. We had to buy the tickets months in advance to get in here.”

“I guess they wanted you to have some privacy? You are Jimin and Jeongguk of BTS. It’s probably the best way to keep you safe,” Jae gave them all of the information he had.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Jimin scratched his head. “Did they close just for us? They’re missing out on so much business.”

Jae shrugged and shook his head, “You’ll have to ask Sejin. I don’t know the details. But it’s safer this way. Just enjoy it.”

Jeongguk dropped his helmet over his head. “Fuck it, let’s go. The snow is beautiful!"

With their snowboards strapped to their feet, they jumped a few inches forward. Jeongguk pulled Jimin into a thick slush of snow and positioned himself next to him. They both pushed off simultaneously only to both immediately tumble to the ground in a bumpy fall. 

Without the danger of other snowboarders on the slopes, they were free to experiment a little even if it resulted in painful falls. A crew of seven cameramen floated around them on skis, filming their movements and trailing them on jet skis. Several times they had to be rescued and carried back to the top of the hill. By the time they were done, they could barely move. Their muscles burned from the plentiful tumbles down the snow covered mountain.

They weren’t great snowboarders, but none of that mattered. It was the happiness, the seclusion, the peace and the love that mattered the most. 

***

After another opulent late night dinner, it was finally time for the two boyfriends to settle into their last resort for the evening. This one was the most luxurious yet. It was a complete multi-story home with lavash furniture and amenities. Situated in a small remote village just minutes away from the ski slopes, it was truly a couple’s dream escape. The biggest flex was the fully stocked designer kitchen and the hot jacuzzi on the rear balcony.  

This time it was Jeongguk who called attention to the over indulgent nature of their accommodations. He pulled Jimin into one of the spare bedrooms on the upper floor, one that didn’t have cameras. He unloaded his suspicions, “Yea, ok this is weird. A fucking jacuzzi? An isolated mansion in the middle of the mountain? This is not at all what was listed on the itinerary for the last day of filming. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be here, but this is not the same place that was reserved for our last day.”

“What do you mean? How do you know?” Jimin asked. 

“I mean I have no idea how this place got booked - or when. We were scheduled to stay at a hotel, about two hours back down the mountain. I remember because one of the site directors called and asked if I wanted to make reservations at a famous sushi place close to the hotel.  This is not the hotel he mentioned. In fact, this isn’t a hotel at all. This is a full house,” Jeongguk squinted his eyes. He was starting to agree with Jimin, something was off. Why was every single location they visited, especially niched for - lovers? 

Jimin nodded vehemently, “Now you understand what I’ve been saying. Koo Koo, ever since we landed in Japan, our entire trip has had a mysterious glow up with the distinct intention of making this appear much more romantic than we intended. I made a promise to Joonie. I promised that I would keep things low-key and downplay our interactions and to keep this as close to a bro-mance as possible. Even when the editors go back in, there is only so much they will be able to do because the settings are all extremely intimate. All of our efforts have been thwarted in a way that we have no control over. I feel like…,”

“...like we’re being set up. Matching pajamas, single beds when we requested two, romantic restaurants, whisky dates, empty ski slopes…,”

Jimin continued, “...lube in our bedroom, mysterious bottles of champagne - I had to hide most of it just to make sure that the cameras didn’t accidentally pick it up.” 

“Somebody is trying to make us look bad. It has to be someone who knows how concerned the members are about this show. It has to be someone trying to sabotage us and get us on the wrong side of Joonie and management,” Jeongguk finally put it all together. He understood completely what Jimin had been trying to warn him about. 

“I have no idea how this is going to look when we play it back. I’m worried, KooKooSan. Our chemistry alone is enough to give us away, but when you add in all of this extra stuff, it’s going to look like we intentionally went back on our word. Maybe Namjoon is right, maybe we should just - scrap the show. Keep the footage for our own personal memories. And just let Jeju be the last episode that we air.”

“But Jimin…we can’t. We did this for the fans. We owe them this, especially the Jikookers who have been through hell this year. Everything in our lives is a fucking secret. Can we…can we please just once…tell a small truth?”

Jimin gave it more thought. “We don’t have to make a decision right now. We have a couple of weeks to decide what we want to do.” Jimin dropped his head. He was truly frightened. How had something so beautiful been hijacked by someone who wanted to hurt them? And who was behind it?

“I think we need to talk to Sejin. This feels like an emergency. Someone on the inside if trying to fuck with us,” Jeongguk said angrily.

 “Already did. I tried texting him a few times but I didn’t get a reply. He had a family emergency. I don’t want to bother him, but honestly, he may be the only one who can give us answers. We need to know how this happened and how we can fix it before any of this hits the airwaves.”

“You’re right. I don’t even know who I can trust anymore.” Jeongguk held Jimin’s hand and clenched it tightly.

***

Both of them were achy and sore. The multiple falls in the snow left them barely able to move. The added stress of knowing that someone was fucking with their show, only made them more anxious. Soaking in the jacuzzi was exactly what they needed to unwind. 

Jeongguk could see the worry in Jimin’s eyes. It was exactly what Jimin didn’t need just weeks before their scheduled enlistment. It was bad enough that the best trip of their lives was coming to an end. But worrying about being sabotaged made the situation even worse. He had to do something to free Jimin’s mind and shift his mood. 

“Let’s go take a soak. The jacuzzi looks wonderful. Plus we need to unwind. I have a music video to film in a few days and so do you. This is our last day of vacation. It’s too late to change anything so we may as well make the best of it,” Jeongguk suggested.

Jeongguk’s simple suggestion was enough to make Jimin smile. He brushed his fingers through his hair and agreed. “You’re right. We need to enjoy ourselves as much as possible. I have to admit, this has been the best trip of my life. I’ve loved being with you.”

“Then it’s settled, get naked…or put on your swim trunks…whichever. Meet you down there?”

“Yea.”

***

Jimin was the first to arrive. Jeongguk found him sitting on the edge of the jacuzzi. 

“What’s going on? Why aren’t you in?”

“It’s too fucking hot. Seriously, whoever is trying to set us up, is also trying to flambé us and cook us for dinner. It’s like they want Jikook soup.” Jimin laughed at his own joke.

“And apparently they want our demise televised because there are more cameras mounted out here than there are in the kitchen. 

“We’re partially nude, sitting close and whispering amidst the hot rising steam. It’s where they’ll get the highest ratings. Everybody loves a little soft porn,” Jimin said as he dipped his toe into the water again. It burned so completely that his entire foot turned red. He grimaced and clenched his butt cheeks. “This is too hot for humans!” He screamed through his silly laughter. 

Jeongguk agreed. After a few minutes of discomfort, they finally decided to reduce the temperature of the water. The air around them on the snowy mountain was freezing but the water in their jacuzzi was boiling. They were trapped  in a comedic irony of extremes. 

Jeongguk’s eyes wandered over Jimin’s exposed body as he seated himself gently within the hot water. There was no need to pretend, he wanted him more than ever. Jimin’s body had undergone a metamorphosis over the months since the initial filming of Are You Sure. He was training hard, bulking up in order to survive the first few weeks of intense military basic training. He was running, lifting weights, and doing yoga. And all of it showed. Every single muscle was taut and lovely, shapely and firm. Jeongguk felt himself grow hard as his eyes carefully surveyed Jimin’s every move.

“Have I told you how good you look?”

“Actually…we’ve been together for almost five days and you haven’t mentioned it.” Jimin said with sass.

“You’ve been working hard - haven’t you? I mean I can see it…all of it,” Jeongguk lipped his lips. He inadvertently placed his hands over his nuts. The camera couldn’t see anything that was happening under the water, but that didn’t stop him from covering his ever growing erection.

“Thank you. I don’t want to be picked on when I arrive at training camp. I don’t want anyone to assume that I can’t hold my weight or can’t keep up. I want to look the part and be able to outperform all of them…even you.” Jimin winked.

“You can do anything you set your mind to. Mentally, you’re the strongest man I’ve ever met. When you decide to do something, it will get done. You’ve never failed. I’ve been with you for ten years, watching your every move. I know. More than anyone, I know what you’re capable of.”

“You’re so fucking maddening. I just want to eat you, literally eat you. You say the most beautiful things, the purest things. You have a heart like no other.”

“You’re a man like no other. I love you.”

“Cameras.”

“This should be edited out…,” Jeongguk said softly, eyes locked upon the love of his life.

“I…love you too.” Jimin wiped the water from his face and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Six months ago, you would have gotten angry with me for saying that so boldly. How quickly the night changes,” Jeongguk quipped.

“I was wrong six months ago. I never should have tried to control your feelings. This trip has made me love you even more if that’s possible. I see you differently. I understand you better. I’m just so blessed to have you.” Jimin could feel the sting of tears. Their carefree soak in the jacuzzi had suddenly grown emotional and that was not something he wanted. He didn’t want to ruin their evening by ending it with tears. 

“It’s ok to cry. You don’t have to always be in control of your emotions. There’s so much happening around us. I understand. Be vulnerable with me.”

Jimin smiled, even though his eyes were so filled with tears that he could hardly see. “I have something very important to tell you.”

“Ok, what is it?” 

“I have something to add to your list of demands for when I propose.”

Jeongguk broke into laughter, “Demands? Call it what you want but you better get it right,” he teased again.

“You need a parade,” Jimin said seriously.

“A parade?”

“Hear me out. A marching band playing Smeraldo Garden Marching Band, and some baton twirlers. Maybe some male cheerleaders.”

“Can the cheerleaders also be strippers?”

“It’s your proposal. You can have whatever you want.” Jimin laughed hysterically. His tears suddenly dissipated amongst the billowy clouds of steam. He loved the idea of a full blown party on the day that he asked Jeongguk to marry him. 

“My turn. While we’re on the topic of marriage, I have a very serious question for you.”

“Ok, shoot.”

“We’ve talked about this before. I’m bringing it up again because I received a very important text this morning. It’s about my new house.”

“Yea, what about it?” Jimin asked.

“It’s done. Ready to move in. They have a few more repairs to do outside in the garage area, but the rest of the home is ready.”

“Congratulations. It’s a big house. Gorgeous home that really fits your style. I’m proud of you.”

Jeongguk was tired of stalling. He needed to say it before he lost his nerve, “You’re right. It is a big house. Much bigger than anything Bam and I will ever need.”

“Then why did you buy it?”

“Because I never planned to live there alone.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jimin rested his leg on Jeongguk’s thigh. He watched him carefully, anxious to understand what he was trying to say.

“You don’t really like living in Nine-One. Your security has been breached several times. Your mail was stolen. You have people spying through your windows. My home has top of the line security and an armed bodyguard keeping post 24/7. Plus a watch dog who loves his two dads. Come live with me and your son Bammy.”

“Live with you?”

“Yes. Move in with me… as soon as enlistment is done. Move in with me.”

“Jeongguk, you know that I can’t do that. What will people say?”

“We’ll tell them to mind their own damn business. We’re going to be in military service for almost two years as buddies. We’ve been bandmates for ten years. We grew up together living in the dorms. No one should be surprised by us living together for comfort. We’re going to be on the road traveling most of the time. We’ll rarely be there. But when we are there, we’ll have each other. People will hardly notice. The house is huge, you said it yourself. You’ll have privacy when you want it and a warm dick when you need it. Don’t say yes…or no. Just put it in the back of your mind and give it thought. One and a half years from now, I’ll ask you for an answer.”

“Oh Koo Koo. I - I…,” Jimin quieted himself. In his heart, his answer was already yes. In his mind, he needed to give it more thought. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to go full glass closet with his boyfriend. “Thank you for the offer. And thank you for giving me time to think about it. My heart wants me to say yes, but I won’t. I will only say…ask me again in eighteen months.”

Jimin swam closer. He could see the lump in Jeongguk’s swimming trunks clearly through the warm water. He looked at him, wondering how they were going to make it through enlistment without plentiful bouts of sex. It seemed like the more often they fucked, the more often they wanted to fuck. It was especially hard for Jeongguk who had so much of his sexual identity tied into his relationship with Jimin. His randomly sprouting erections was just one issue they needed to resolve. 

Jeongguk looked down into the water. His thick cock was hard and unwieldy. He whined, “Do you see what you did to me?”

“Why is it always my fault?” Jimin snickered.

“Because you’re the only one who has this power. You’re the only one who I find - stunning. Breathtaking. Heart stopping. Cock crippling.”

“Cock crippling?” Jimin splashed around the jacuzzi, tickled with laughter. 

“You’re sublime. Ethereal, like an Angel on earth. You make me want you from the depths of my soul, body, mind and spirit. You’re irresistible to me.”

“There you go saying those things again,” Jimin wanted to kiss him, but the mounted cameras were running. Instead he moved his hand quickly under the water, deep under the currents where the cameras 

couldn’t see. He crawled his fingers over Jeongguk’s crotch and fished for his cock inside of his swim trunks. Fisting it firmly, he delivered slow subtle strokes down his shaft. Above the water the two of them appeared to just be sitting closely bundled. But below the surface, a whole porn film was playing out. Jimin looked over his shoulder, peering occasionally at the camera as he stroked his boyfriend, masturbating him in plain view

“God that feels so good. Why does your touch still drive me wild after all of these years?”

“What do we have here? Looks like you’re fighting back a few cummies?” Jimin mocked him as he stroked him more and more forcefully. He could feel Jeongguk begin to tremble, sending small waves rippling through the water around him. 

“Edit this…please edit this,” Jeongguk closed his eyes as he made a lip quivering plea. 

“Ohhh you feel so good. It’s our last night. Are you going to make love to me? To celebrate our beautiful trip?”

“I’ll do anything you fucking want.” Jeongguk could feel his orgasm begin to rise. “I-I-I can’t cum on camera. I can’t…,” he shivered as small droplets of precum floated to the surface of the steaming water. 

“Yes you can. I give you permission. We already told them to edit this part out,” Jimin smiled as he stared directly into his eyes. His fingers stroked his lover’s tip, tickling the overly sensitive flesh. “Don’t deny yourself. Cum in my hand. Then take me to the bed and fuck me in front of the camera. Spank my ass until it turns red. Lick my hole and blow in my mouth. Scream about how much you love me so that everyone in the village can hear you.”

“Fuck!” Jeongguk tilted his head back. He writhed on Jimin’s fingers, no longer able to stitch together cogent thoughts. The pressure from Jimin’s hand, the forcefulness in his touch, the sparkling of his eyes and the beauty of his seductive smile, all of it coalesced to send heated pools of pleasure surging through Jeongguk’s body. “Not in front of the camera, not in front of the camera, please no…FUCK!” He was suspended in stomach twisting pleasure; throat dilating with deep gasps for air. His body clenched, seizing into one stiff convulsion. His dick throbbed in Jimin’s hand, pulsating like an artery. 

Swirls of opaque fluid burst from the tip of his cock and floated to the surface of the water as his body released his seed. A few seconds passed.

Once Jeongguk opened his eyes, Jimin released him. They glared at each other, holding back smiles, fighting their urge to kiss. Jimin used his finger to trace through the strings of cum that floated on the water’s surface. “Have I told you that I love you?” He asked lovingly.

 Jeongguk found his breath, “Many, many times.” 

***

The two showered and cooked dinner, leaving their scalding hot jacuzzi behind. They cozied up on the couch with glasses of vintage whisky and dedicated themselves to filming as much friendly content as possible for their last night. 

The film crew were invited over to have a few drinks and eat dinner. To everyone’s surprise, the on-site producer offered a special episodic preview for Jimin and Jeongguk. He arrived with ready-to-watch episodes of Are You Sure that had already been completed. The footage from the U.S. and Jeju was ready to air. At Jimin’s request, each episode had been put through additional scrutiny by senior staff members. It was a promise that he’d made to Namjoon, bringing in neutral perspectives that could flush out problematic content. And the senior editors delivered because what started as tens of hours and days and days of footage had artfully been sanitized and edited down to only six. 

It was Jimin and Jeongguk’s first time viewing the finished product. Jimin was admittedly nervous. Based on Namjoon’s preview and subsequent freak-out, he could only imagine what kind of blatantly romantic dalliances were going to jump out from the screen. With their glasses of whisky in hand, they watched; nervously holding hands beneath the pillow whenever a potentially revealing scene came on. But to their surprise, much of the damaging footage really had been removed. 

What was left was a true tale of two friends - best friends - enjoying each other effortlessly. The undertones were still there and some of that couldn’t be helped, but the overall message of the show was wholesome and healing. The two of them were magnetic on screen as well as funny and entertaining. Jimin released a relieved breath. 

After viewing the entire series, minus the Sapparo footage, the two of them gratefully applauded the work of the crew. They hugged them all and wished them goodnight. It was the last time they would see many of them for the next eighteen months because most of them were flying home that evening. It was a somber but sweet goodbye. The staff left them alone after agreeing to turn off all of the cameras for the evening. Filming would resume the following day as the traveled back to the airport. 

***

The two boyfriends returned to the kitchen to talk, reflect. “We’re not out of the woods yet. It’s the Sapparo stuff that I’m really worried about,” Jimin confessed to Jeongguk.

“Jimin - so many staff members are going to know the truth after this is over. They’re going to know that we’re in love. The stuff they’re going to see when they’re editing will be a real awakening about our true relationship. I mean we can edit all of the stuff on our personal handhelds, but some of the other stuff…,”

“...like the jacuzzi? Like when we disappeared into the bathroom together? Like the bottles of lube that I had to hide?”

“Exactly that. We better have iron clad NDA’s with all of them. They’re going to know all of our secrets by the time this is all over.”

“KooKooSan, they already do. They’ve known for years. They are our most trusted allies and always have been. Don’t worry about that. Leaks won’t come from them, they practically raised us and we’re family. Look how well they’ve protected us for all of these years. Trust them.”

“Yes, I hope so.”

“The one thing that keeps me up at night is knowing that someone tried to set us up. Someone inside of our own camp - and it’s not the staff.” Jimin wrung his hands. 

“I’ve thought about that alot and I have a different opinion. Just hear me out.”

“Ok, I’m listening.”

Jeongguk continued, “Maybe we need to change our perspective. Within days, our lives are going to change. What if war breaks out during our enlistment period? What if we experience things that change how we view each other? What if - we fight or bicker constantly. The bottom line is that we have no idea what enlistment is going to do to us or our relationship. We think we know - but no one really has a crystal ball. What we are about to do with the buddy enlistment is unprecedented, it’s never been done before. What if someone from the outside looking in, is worried about those same things and loves us enough to make this time truly special because our future is unknown? Think about it, Jiminie. Were we really set up or were we given the best time of our lives, no expense spared? There are two ways to look at this.”

Jimin felt his heart melt. Jeongguk’s innocent view of the world was so refreshing. It was truly why he loved him, “To live in your world…is truly a blessing. Everything you’re saying is possible. But…we won’t know the motive until we know who did it. We still need to get to the bottom of this.”

“Any word from Sejin?”

“Still nothing. I’ll call again later today. But Koo Koo, there is one thing that gives me hope. The editing is really incredible. After seeing what they can do, I have no doubt that we’ll be ok. The extra layer of protection from the senior editors really changed everything. I feel hopeful that they’ll be able to do the same thing with Sapporo episodes…even that moment with me jerking you off in the hot tub. I shouldn’t have done that by the way,” Jimin dipped his head in embarrassment, “I don’t know what came over me.”

“I loved every moment of it…but I was surprised that you were willing to take such a bold risk after only minutes earlier admitting to how worried you were about what we were feeding the cameras. You’ve been hard to read lately. I can’t always tell what you want…what you need,” Jeongguk said lovingly.

“If it seems like I’m all over the place - it’s because I am. I’m torn between savoring our last few days, doing whatever the fuck we want to do and protecting our image and the innocents around us. That thing in the hot tub…I just wanted to be close to you, pleasure you, turn you on. And now here I sit with regret again, wondering if I crossed the line, dishonoring my promise to Joonie.” Jimin rested his face in his hands.

“You didn’t cross the line. And can you please stop internalizing everything? I’m not a kid, I’m your partner and I allowed that to happen because I wanted it. I wanted to feel you all over me. Cameras or no cameras.”

“You’re so kind to me. You never allow me to self-destruct,” Jimin laughed. 

“Because kindness is probably the most important thing that I learned…from you.”

Jimin didn’t feel much like talking. He was starting to feel that heavy burdensome weight again. That tinge of depression and emotional upheaval. He still had not come to terms with enlistment. Finding the courage to face it was difficult. Not to mention that it was the end of their trip and he was greatly going to miss his private time with Jeongguk. Once again, the uncertainty of their future haunted him. He didn’t want to bring Jeongguk’s spirits down, so he opted for the safe choice.

“Let’s go to bed. We can get up early tomorrow and pack. There’s a three hour drive to the airport.”

“Since the crew took down all of the cameras, I guess it’s ok for us to sleep together in the same room, same bed?”

Jimin held his hand forward for Jeongguk to grab it. Together, they climbed the steps to the upper bedroom.

***

Jimin was stirred from his sleep by a horrific nightmare. The screams that escaped him startled Jeongguk awake, causing him to spring from the bed with a fight or flight impulse. He looked around the room for several minutes before realizing the screams were coming from a semi-conscious Jimin. Immediately, he fell to his side and gently tried to wake him.

“It’s a dream baby, it’s just a dream. Wake up, please. Wake up. It’s ok. It’s ok.”

Jimin’s eyes burst open. He was wild and frenzied, heart thundering in his chest. He was screaming Jeongguk’s name. Clamoring at his chest, begging him not to die.

“Die? No, no baby I’m not dying. I’m not dying. I’m right here, standing next to you. I’m right here.”

Even after laying eyes on Jeongguk and getting confirmation that he was alive and well, Jimin still screamed. The nightmare had been just that horrific. He threw his body into Jeongguk’s chest and wept loudly, openly.

“Oh thank God. Thank God. It was so real. The dream was so real. I can’t live without you. I can’t. I won’t.” Jimin’s words were jumbled but his fear was real. He wrapped his arms around Jeongguk, squeezing him, holding on to him for dear life.

“Tell me all about it. Tell me what happened,” Jeongguk encouraged.

“No. Never. I will never repeat it, I will never s-s-s-say it aloud.” Jimin was terrified. The raucous confused kiss that followed housed all of his feelings. He grabbed Jeongguk and pushed him hard to the bed.  “I need you. I need you now. Please, please. Show me that you have life. Please Koo Koo, please. I have to have you.” Jimin ripped at his own clothes, revealing his naked body.

The tears that flowed from his eyes were the most devastating that Jeongguk had seen in all of their years together. So much fear, so much anguish, yet he was unable to convince Jimin that it wasn’t real. 

“No, baby we can’t. We promised not to do it here.”

“Please don’t say no,” Jimin screamed again. He was frantic. His eyes were red and swollen.

Jeongguk realized that not giving Jimin what he wanted would be cruel given Jimin’s state of flux. They were sleeping in the bedroom with on cameras and most of the staff had already flown home. He had to make a very quick decision in the midst of Jimin clawing at him, begging him to make love. 

“I can never say no to you. You’ve loved me for most of my life.”

“And mine.” 

He gripped Jimin’s tearful face in his hands, his thumbs skimming the trace of tears beneath his eyes. His gaze was gentle, loving and understanding. His hyung was going through so much. It pained him to see him suffering, to not be able to take the pain away. He pulled Jimin’s head to his and kissed him with life-sustaining pleasure. The intensity of the kisses grew, pushing them to the point of no return.

“We just have to be careful,” Jeongguk warned. 

Jimin knew instinctively what his young lover meant. He didn’t care what the terms were. He just wanted to feel him again. They had gone the entire trip without making love, insistent upon staying true to their promise. But at that very moment, giving in to each other seemed like the only thing to do; the only way to bridge the gap between today and the unknowns of tomorrow. 

Jeongguk undressed with haste, stripping himself until he was completely naked. Their skin laid bare, colliding with urgency and rolling about the bed. They moaned each other’s names, whispering proclamations of love as they held hands. 

Jeongguk, true to his word, took his time. He lubed every inch of his hard cock. He held Jimin down by pressing his palm gently against his abdomen while he pushed two overly lubricated fingers into him. He didn’t want him to hurt or sting or have lasting soreness, so his entry had to be delicate. 

Jimin pulled his knees to his chest as he was being worked open. He shut his eyes, titillated by the massage, aroused, pleasured. He could feel his own cock sprouting into a heavy lean against his stomach.

Jeongguk spent an eternity conditioning him, stretching him until he was pliant and ready to receive him. Before he entered him, he caressed Jimin’s cheek with a silky whisper, “How do you feel? Can you take me?”

Jimin simply nodded. He rolled over and then climbed on all fours to present his supple hole, eager for Jeongguk to feed him. His hands crept blindly across the sheets as soon as he felt the pressure push against him. Shaking slightly under his own weight, he inhaled deeply to gather the smells around him. He was especially seduced by the earthy aroma of the man he loved more than anyone else in the world.  

“Sweetheart, you’re so beautiful down there,” Jeongguk groaned.

Jimin was mesmerized by how skillfully his lover took him. He felt almost nothing except the weight of his cock inside of him. With one small buck of his hips, Jeongguk was completely inside, filling him fully. Jimin caught his breath. His hands tangled around the sheets, desperate for stability as he felt the force of his lover’s rocking hips. The glide of Jeongguk’s cock was so satisfying. He’d never felt more loved than when he was being fucked. 

 Jeongguk’s strokes were deliberately slow, lazy and delicious. There was not one errant move. He rotated in and out with varying degrees of depth, increasing the speed in tandem with his breathing. As he always did when he felt he was cumming too soon, he withdrew rapidly, leaving Jimin with a cold emptiness that unsettled him. 

Jimin allowed his lover to go through the motions and do whatever necessary to return to him. He could feel the sweetness of Jeongguk’s soft lips kissing the outline of each of the moons on his back. The younger one briefly buried his face in Jimin’s back as he hitched his hips forward to enter him again. After several more strokes, he stopped once again.

“Ride me,” he begged.

They maneuvered themselves into position. Jimin climbed on top and lowered himself over Jeongguk’s glistening cock. As gingerly as possible, he began to bounce, taking Jeongguk’s dick at his own pace, to his own satisfaction. His eyes remained open and he watched the beautiful facial contortions of his baby bun. He pushed himself all the way down causing Jeongguk’s cock to completely disappear inside of him. He sat there, refusing to move, staring down at the sexy beast that he called his own. 

Jeongguk gripped his waist, not able to speak. The bed violently began to shake in tandem with Jeongguk’s quivers. Being so deeply embedded inside of Jimin’s body was surreal. His orgasm was triggered. The last memory before he exploded was the vision of Jimin’s ethereal beauty floating over him. With his eyes clenched shut, he begged Jimin not to move. 

Jimin touched his stomach. He could feel the tip of Jeongguk’s cock throbbing in his guts. He sat as still as possible, despite his instinct to ride him hard. But there was only so much he could take. Just as Jeongguk exploded inside of him, he began bouncing again, his tight ass siphoning every drop of fluid from his boyfriend’s tip. He fucked him savagely, leaking a mess of cum all over the sheets of the expensive bed.

How quickly their moans became tears when they realized that this may be the last time they made love before enlistment. The reality hit them both hard - mid orgasm before they even had a chance to reconcile their competing emotions. It was over. There was no guarantee of a time or date they would be together again. 

***

The following morning began with Jimin pensive in thought. He arose early and packed for both he and Jeongguk to allow Jeongguk to sleep in a little longer. It was a sad morning for him, one that started and ended in tears. But the tears were for a good reason. They were due, they were needed.

As Jimin sat quietly on the steps of the Jacuzzi, he peered reflectively over the chilly grey sky. His thoughts roamed everywhere from playing cards with his brother and longing for his mother’s stew to sitting with his father in the cafe and talking over a cup of coffee. All of it ran through his mind. In a sense he was mourning his most cherished memories coupled with the people he loved the most; simply because of how much he was going to miss them. Managers, friends, the other members, all of them rested on his mind as well. Life as he knew it was coming to an end, albeit temporarily, an end just the same. Because even after military service, everything would be different. 

He worried about everything. The quality of the food he’d be eating. His weight. His skin. His overall health, especially considering his chronic shoulder injury. He had an Idol life to maintain and his body had to remain in top form. He had to protect his career while protecting his country. He had mixed feelings about the concept of war, fighting, and taking up arms. There were so many morally reprehensible positions taken by the military that stood staunchly opposite his own. How was he going to battle through all of it? How was he going to be a good little soldier? It felt like he was selling a part of his soul.

Would life be better? Worse? Intolerable? Would the wasted years serving his country steal irreplaceable moments of his youth? 

How would he be treated? Would he be bullied, abused, taunted? Or would he be able to make life-long friends just as his hyungs did? Would the name Jimin of BTS get him places or make his life miserable? He didn’t know. And it was the not knowing that made him sick to his stomach.

Time was ticking. December 12th was quickly approaching and there was still so much to do. The list of tasks kept growing: closing out his utility bills, rerouting his mail, giving away his furniture, moving his belongings to storage, even visiting everyone at the office one last time. Again, tears dropped. Again, he felt so unsure.

A quick check of his watch revealed that it was time to go. If they wanted to stop and have a nice lunch before heading to the airport, then they needed to get on the road. The drive back to the airport was a full three hours. He needed to wake Jeongguk and get him sorted. 

There was one source of comfort in his life. One man who sacrificed it all just to be there with him. One man who planned to enter the military four years early to stay with his brothers. The man who lost more of his youth than any other, yet never complained a single day about it. And that man lay snoring soundly in Jimin’s bed. 

“Koo Koo. Wake up honey. Wake up.” Fully clothed, Jimin cuddled behind him and snuggled against his back. Together they lay agglutinated like baby peas in a pod. 

After several comfortable reassuring minutes, Jimin called him again, “Baby, we have a flight to catch. Time to get up.”

Jeongguk rolled to his back and pulled Jimin to his chest. He stroked his hair and kissed the crown of his head. “You ok? How’s your body?” His first concern was always Jimin.

“I’m good. A little sore but nothing compared to the muscle aches I had after we went snowboarding. I’ll be able to do my choreography and everything with no problem. You did good…you felt good.” Jimin smiled. 

“Just good?”

“Ok, incredible. You felt absolutely incredible. And you…how are you feeling? I wasn’t exactly easy on you either.”

“I feel better than I ever have. Thank you for a wonderful night.”

“You’re welcome. Now get dressed. It’s time for us to go. We have a flight to catch,” Jimin gave his boyfriend a sloppy kiss. 

Jeongguk pulled away to take a closer look at Jimin’s face. “You’ve been crying. You always get so melancholy at the end of our vacations.”

“It’s more than that.”

“I know. Trust me…I understand.”

Jimin needed to get a few things off of his chest, “Every single day I thank God that we’ll be serving together. I couldn’t live without you…not for eighteen months.”

“I’m grateful too. Plus…I’m going to be cooking for you. An added bonus. You’ll always know what’s in your food. You’ll know what to eat and what not to eat. You’ll get homemade seaweed stew for your birthday.”

“Good, maybe you can help me keep my weight down by making sure they serve more healthy stuff.”

“I can’t guarantee that, but I’ll definitely give you the dirty little secrets,” Jeongguk laughed. More importantly, he made Jimin laugh. 

Jimin pulled Jeongguk to his feet. He was still naked and mildly bruised from their lovemaking the previous night. Jimin surveyed him, adored him. He wanted him all over again, but time was not their friend. Just as he moved in for a kiss, his text buzzed. 

“Whoa! It’s Sejin. It’s about time. I’ve been trying to contact him for almost three days.”

“Call him, right away. I have to go shower, but I’ll be right back. I need to know what he knows,” Jeongguk disappeared into the bathroom.

Jimin was already dialing. Sejin picked up on the very first ring. “Hey Jimin. Sorry I’ve been out of pocket. My mother was in bad shape. It was a tough few days, but she’s home now and everything is good. What’s this question you have about strange accommodations? I’m hearing from the staff that arrangements were changed at the last minute? What arrangements?”

“Upgrades, bottles of champagne, luxury restaurants, couples suites, honeymoon suites, matching pajamas, candle light dinners, rose petals, and a bunch of other stuff we never asked for. Stuff that really made the show look overly romantic. We were painted as a couple at every turn and it wasn’t us doing it. We’re hoping you can tell us what happened. Who did this? It had to be someone from the inside. Someone is trying to ruin our show and get it pulled from Disney. Someone is sabotaging us.” Jimin hated to ask, but he had to know “Was it…,” Jimin paused, “someone on our staff?”

“No Jimin, it wasn’t. You should know better. These people have been with you since you were kids. And by the way, you seem pretty ungrateful for all of the “upgrades” and gifts that were showered onto you.”

“It’s not that we’re ungrateful. It’s just…it goes against everything we wanted to do with this part of the show. We made promises. We vowed to keep this show platonic and…,” Jimin paused. He didn’t want to say too much. Even though he knew that Sejin knew all of their secrets, he didn’t want to come out and confess anything willingly. 

“Oh cut the bullshit. I know Jimin. I know about you and Jeongguk. I know you’re fucking. I know you’ve been fucking since that night in Jeju. I know you were making out in the closet at Jeongguk’s GOLDEN party. I know that you sneak away from the cameras to be together. I know that you cut vital conversations out of your footage because you’re talking about private matters. I know you sneak into each other’s hotel rooms when we’re on tour. I know Jeongguk bought that house because he hopes you will move in with him. I know that you’re in love. I know you’ve been in love for years, possibly since the beginning. I know everything. And I will take all of that information to my grave,” Sejin unloaded. 

Jimin was silent. The truth was sobering.

“As for sabotaging this show…no one on our team would ever do that. No one is trying to sabotage your show. In fact, I think just the opposite is happening here. I have to go. I need to check on my mom. I’ll see you when you get back in town. But one more thing, if you want answers so badly, give Namjoon a call.”

“Namjoon? What does he have to do with anything?” Jimin asked.

“Call him.” Sejin disconnected.

Jeongguk returned just in time to hear the latter part of the conversation. “Why does he want us to call Joonie?”

“No idea. He says that Namjoon has answers. Answers to what I wonder?”

Jimin did as Sejin suggested. He dialed Namjoon immediately. His first thought was that Namjoon had somehow seen the pre-edited Sapporo footage and he was angry. He likely assumed the worst, just as he did when he saw the original Jeju and U.S. footage. Jimin was terrified to talk to him, but he had to if he was going to get to the bottom of the mystery. 

“Jimin! Have you guys made it home yet?” Namjoon answered happily.

“Joonie…uh hi. No, we’re still in Japan. Our flight leaves in about six hours. We’re going to stop and get some lunch and then we’re heading straight for the airport.”

“Well toughen up soldier. We’ve only got a few days of freedom left. Are you going to the states with Jeongguk to film with Usher?”

“No…I-I have work of my own to do. He’s going alone.”

“We’re scheduled to all do a final V-Live together.”

“Yea, I know.  Look Joonie, I didn’t call to make small talk. I need to ask you something.”

“Sure. What is it?”

Jeongguk sat on the bed next to Jimin. He placed both of them on speaker phone. 

“Hey RM,” Jeongguk said politely.

“Hey Jk! How’s Japan.”

“It’s been like a fairy tale. I’ve never been happier in my life,” he said as he held Jimin’s hand.

Jimin intervened. He really had no time for bullshit. He needed answers. “We can tell you all about the trip when we get home tonight. But I need to talk to you. This is going to sound strange but please be patient. I don’t know exactly what I’m supposed to ask you or how to ask it. Sejin told me you had answers, but I don’t know the questions.”

“Making me a bit nervous, but go ahead. What are you trying to figure out?” Namjoon waited patiently.

“There’s been some really strange shit going on while we were traveling. Joonie, I made a promise to you. We promised to behave, to keep our feelings under control…and we did that. But other things outside of our control happened around us.”

“I have no idea what you’re trying to say. Explain, please,” Namjoon laughed at Jimin’s feeble attempt to ask him the question.

“We believe that someone from inside of our camp has been trying to sabotage this trip.”

Jeongguk chimed in to help. “Weird shit RM. Like being booked in couples lodges with heart shaped tubs and sex lube all over the place.”

“Roses, candlelight dinners, and private outings,” Jimin added. “Joonie, we’re going to work with the editors to make sure that this stuff gets edited as tightly as possible. But we just want you to hear it from us. We didn’t do this. We didn’t plan this.”

Jeongguk tried to explain again, “On film it’s going to look very suspicious, very deliberate. But you have to know we had nothing to do with it. Everywhere we went, we were the only ones there. Someone paid to give us exclusive access to the whisky museum and the hotels. The entire ski resort was empty. We had the entire place to ourselves like a couple on their fucking…”

“...honeymoon?” Namjoon interrupted.

Both Jimin and Jeongguk went quiet. They stared at each other in stunned silence.

“Yes…exactly like a honeymoon,” Jimin reiterated.

Namjoon continued, “Like the honeymoon you never had.”

Jimin immediately started to tear up, “It-it-it was you!”

Namjoon laughed at their stunned expressions. “It was…us. Me and the rest of the guys decided to chip in to really amp up your last trip together. Yoongi is the one who changed all of your hotel reservations to honeymoon suites and exclusive mansions. I’m the one who paid all of the local attractions to remain closed for the day while you were visiting. Tae and Hobi had each of your rooms filled with roses and fancy liquors. And…that asshole Jin is responsible for putting designer astroglide in each of your rooms. He thought it was hilarious.”

“We used most of that…,” Jeongguk began to speak but Jimin shoved him in the ribs. 

“We hid most of it…from the cameras…before throwing it out…that’s what he meant to say,” Jimin covered. Under no circumstances was he going to admit to using Jin’s lube to fuck. 

Namjoon said more, “Our conversation was important Jimin. I heard every word you said. I could feel just how deeply in love you are. I just…I just wanted to do something in return to show how much we support you. The other members agreed. This was our last chance to do something grand, to show you our love. To give you that honeymoon. It was a bit sneaky, but fun nonetheless.”

“I can’t believe you did this. After all of that talk about not making a scene and being discreet. You made the biggest scene of all,” Jeongguk said quizzically. 

Jimin chimed in, “I’m so confused right now. I thought we agreed to keep this under wraps, to keep our relationship private.”

“We agreed to that. And we will all keep that agreement. What goes on between you and Jeongguk is not anyone’s business. We especially can’t let this get out to the public or to the fandom. I’ll make myself clear once again, you cannot go public with your relationship.”

“Well then why did you set us up by making everything so couple coded?” Jimin raised his voice.

“Because we love you and we wanted you to have something special. It wasn’t a set up. It was a gift, a wish for you to have the best time ever. We had faith that the editors would take care of everything. Disney editors stepped in as well because there was a conversation about labeling the show as LBGTQ+.  Hybe disagreed, so they took special care to clean up after our clean up.”

Jeongguk laughed, “Wait! Disney wanted Are You Sure to be a LGBTQ+ show?”

“Yep. The people who saw the first few uncut versions tossed the idea back and forth. They even changed some of the ratings. From what I hear, your team worked overtime to make sure that it didn’t get a 18+ rating. They made cut after cut after cut until they finally got it right,” Namjoon explained.

“How do you know all of this?” Jimin asked.

“Because I was called in to answer questions. You two have a lot of freedom but at the end of the day, I’m still the leader and I’m held responsible for what happens in the group,” Namjoon said calmly.

“We’re sorry you had to defend us,” Jimin stated.

Namjoon smiled with his perfect pinpoint dimples, “I will always defend you. I will always fight for you, until my last breath. It’s all good guys. Nothing came out of it. And anything that does squeak through, well, there’s nothing we can do about it. But trust me, we’re in the clear. You two are the best of friends and no matter what you do, that will always shine the brightest.”

 There was nothing more for them to say except, “Thank you. And thank the other guys. This truly was the best trip of our lives. Every detail mattered. Nothing was missed or overlooked. We didn’t have to worry about fans wanting autographs or people sneaking pictures of us. We were really able to relax and be ourselves. It was truly extraordinary. I guess we were just so paranoid that we thought it was too good to be true,” Jeongguk explained.

Jimin added, “We were so blinded by skepticism that we missed the generosity. Joonie, we will never forget this. It really was an act of love.”

“Anytime fellas. I know this is hard. I know you want the world to know but that’s the one thing I can’t give you. For now, you must keep your lips sealed. Your day will come, eventually.”

“Yea,” Jeongguk sighed. 

“Yea, thanks Joonie.” Jimin disconnected.

He sniffled and wiped a tear. This was not the ending he expected, but it was an ending that he could accept. 

“Not our time. I’m so fucking tired of hearing that,” Jeongguk complained.

“Me too. But this story has a happy ending. I just know it does.”

“Until then, we have to be dutiful. We have to protect everyone, including ourselves. We can’t allow any slip ups during enlistment. We have to be good little soldiers,” Jimin said sadly.

“At least, we’ll be together.”

“That is the most important. Grab your stuff, let’s go eat. We have a long drive.”

“I’m going to drive us all the way back to the airport. I want our last few hours to be alone. I have to fly to the states in a couple of days and I don’t know when I’ll see you again. The next time we meet, it’ll almost be time to head to camp.”

“One last V-live before we go.”

“Yea. I’ll take all of the luggage downstairs to the car. You check to make sure I didn’t leave anything. You know how bad I am about forgetting stuff.”

“Yea.”

“Your lips look beautiful when they’re sealed,” Jeongguk leaned in and gave Jimin one last kiss.

“And so do yours. I love you.”